If I Understood You, Would I Have This Look on My Face?: My Adventures in the Art and Science of Relating and Communicating

I'm writing this review on February 29th, Rare Disease Day. As part of my celebration, as a person with a rare disease (Myositis), I read this book because I can so relate to the title. After being misdiagnosed for 12 years (and yes, I had a stunned look the first time), I looked even more shocked/bewildered I'm sure, when it turns out I had something entirely different. Similar, yet very different.Since my first diagnosis, I made it my mission to attend the University of Google, and learn everything about polymyositis. In fact, I had a doctorate that disease. But after finding out I had inclusion body myositis (IBM, same disease Peter Frampton has), I got a second doctorate in that.I talk to a lot of people about my disease--and a lot of people talk to me about it. Many people speak my language--but I read papers, and sit in seminars and lectures where sometimes, the medical types and researchers wander off in to folded proteins, and T-cells, and KLRK1 antibodies, and well, I'm lost.And god forbid I try to tell any other type of doctor about myositis! They are a doctor, they know everything about me, even though I just met them three minutes ago (as happened in an EXTREMELY unfortunate ER encounter), and they had to google Myositis. They decided my chief complaint was something they could fix, even though I knew my incurable, untreatable medical condition did not have the label they had assigned to me. No one listened to me, with my doctorate of 17 years living with the disease. What did I know, there was no MD after my name.To get back to Alda's book, wow, is this needed in the scientific and medical community. It is difficult to explain and communicate a lot of very complex information. Challenging. Hard. I wish many more in the vital area of research and the medical field would take some type of training, or embrace the concepts outlined in the book. I so enjoyed the stories that accompanied the examples. They just hit the mark in terms of true, often poignant and humorous ways, that we all think we speak the same language--but we don't.Read this book, for knowledge, for use, for entertainment. Maybe next time you have a heart to heart with your doctor, he or she won't sound like Charlie Brown's teacher--wah wah, wah-wah's, wah wah...and if they do, have the courage to stop them. Communication does go both ways.

I first listened to this on a digital book, and was so taken by its content that I bought a hard copy. This book should be mandatory reading for any industry that calls for human to human communication telephonically, digitally, or face to face. I was pleased that my misconception of Alan Alda as being an unserious player in this, was blown away by the scholarly work! The degree of depth and detail along with his story-telling drove the points of the book home, all 20 chapters. I hope that he reads these and what to thank him for this OPUS MAGNUM! I will read again this time with a pen in had to underscore and dog ear the book. Thanks Hawkeye! OH! I wholeheartedly recommend reading and absorbing the content of this book and incorporating it into your relationships!

I’ve always been a fan of Alan Alda (circa: M*A*S*H), and also his narrating and interviewing in various documentaries. He has a wonderful speaking voice and is the consummate professional actor. I was curious about this book and have enjoyed reading his studies and reseRch in human behavior and why so many of us are inept at getting our point across. I occasionally got bored with some of the research and would switch to another book such as a novel but I kept this book by my bedside and finished it fairly quickly - especially on days when I would be out and run into people who just plain never learned how to communicate and what should be communicated vs. what needs to be left unsaid (aka: social media users). I would come back to this book and try to underscore certain concepts that we all should really be taught in school. I grew up with a father who was an excellent hardware salesman and he had a knack for what to say, when to say it, and his to say it. Dad was a big “Dale Carnegie, “How to Wkn Friends and Influence People,” fan, and it truly worked for him as people loved my dad. He put Dale Carnegie’s lessons in front of all three of his kids. I’ve often wondered why public schools don’t include these time-honored concepts in as graduation requirements. Not all kids are cut out for STEM (Science, Technology, Engjneering & Math) but EVERYONE will have to deal with people for the rest of their lives. Alan Alda has captured many of these points in this book with his graceful and often humorous prose.

Who knew that Alan Alda has been involved with teaching scientists and doctors to communicate with the rest of us since - well, at least since 2009, when he founded the Alda-Kavli Center for Communicating Science at Stony Brook?Not me. And I'm delighted that he has, and even more delighted that he wrote a book about his efforts.As a teacher, coach, and consultant on topics of communication, conflict transformation, and empathy, I *really* appreciate Alda's insights as well as his tips and techniques, many of them learned through his days as an actor and in working with improvisation. I've happily adopted some of his ideas into my own work (with attribution, of course), and plan to explore the ideas of improv in the near future.This is a fun AND informative look at what it means for all of us to communicate better - not just scientists or medical folk - and includes suprisingly easy and remarkably powerful experiments and practices that are helpful for anyone seeking to be a better, more empathetic communicator. Which, in this era of so much upheaval, really ought to be all of us.

I found this book pretty useful, both in itself and as a common point of reference with other folks who had read it. Plus, Alda is funny and engaging.

...Would I Have This Look on My Face?Yes. Yes, I would.I enjoyed this entire presentation of the exploration of how we, as complex beings, interact with each other. I had to undergo a sea change in my own life to really comprehend it, but I am glad I did.Thanks for another mind expanding book, Mr. Alda.

Completely loved this book. Read it virtually in one sitting.He writes extremely well - well you’d have to if you're writing a book about communication - so he walks the talk. He has some wonderful thought provoking ideas, backed up by research, about the value and the dangers of empathy. He is someone who isn’t just endlessly curious about people but has actually done some exciting work to try and support scientists and disseminate their ideas.I intend to try out some of his ideas like trying to guess what strangers are feeling and naming their emotions. Given that I tried the mind reading test and only got 25 out of 36, I have room for improvement.Oh and he’s on my list for an invite to my dream dinner party.

I utterly loved this! Very readable, with lots of examples that I can associate with. It's got me thinking about how I relate to people around me. I've stormed through the whole thing and now am going to read again a bit more thoughtfully. It's stuff you already know, but told in a human way that makes you sit up and think and look at yourself - or, at least, that's been my reaction to it.

I started reading this book when I was asked to teach a class on presentation for politicians. For that it was invaluable. But then I found that it was also useful for actors, for writers, and, finally, for Life. A wise, witty book, full of useful knowledge.

An excellent, highly readable, humorous book on how to improve your communication. Told with pathos and empathy, this story just might help you tell better stories yourself. Highly relatable. Read it for the pleasure of spending some time inside the mind of Alan Alda, if for no other reason.

Book looked good. Bought as a gift, so havnt read it. It arrived in good time.