How To Be A 3% Man, Winning The Heart Of The Woman Of Your Dreams Paperback – August 18, 2013

I'm a woman. I bought this book because I was fed up with my husband's behavior. I ran across the author on youtube. I found the book to be very helpful for men. It's all common sense to me, but based on the behavior of my husband and other men I have had relationships with in the past, this is pretty revolutionary for men.I found the book very repetitive, but I can see why it is. Men are dense and really need to have things repeated over and over again. I can also understand why the author recommends that men read it over and over again, for the same reason. For me, and probably most women, the concepts could easily be outlined in a pamphlet. I know from experience, however, that men generally take longer when it comes to anything having to do with the emotions of women, or how we want to be treated.I recommended this book to my husband, who, in the past has just ignored every book I gave or recommended to him. Most of the books I have asked him to read have to do with insecurity, low self-esteme, codependence, jealousy and controlling behaviors. I think the only reason my husband read this particular book is because I told him we are just roommates now, and I meant it. He read the book. We are still just roommates, but his behavior has improved significantly. I don't know if it will continue. As the author says, you really have to own the content of the book and let it become you. That would require a lot of effort on the part of the average lazy man. Let's face it, once a woman shows any sign of forgiveness, or opens any pathway to her heart, men like children, revert back to old, pathetic behaviors.I did take issue with the basic premise of the masculine/feminine dichotomy. I'm bisexual and many of my friends are transgender or fall somewhere on the spectrum between feminine and masculine. I think the author oversimplified how women are and how we want men to behave toward us. I can see how some guys could misunderstand and take being "masculine" too far, especially if they miss the more subtle nuances and only take away "me strong man, you weak woman."The issue of gender and the feminine/masculine stereotypes was finally addressed at the end of the book, not really to my satisfaction, and much too late, almost as an afterthought. I would have been less annoyed as I read the book, had it been addressed earlier on. That said, this book was written for "masculine" cis-gendered men, who I suppose are interested in very feminine, cis-gendered woman. I think the problem comes when readers come in with their own ideas of what makes a man masculine and what makes a woman feminine, which, in my opinion, is really unfair to both genders. Society and culture has created a lot of funky baggage around the concepts of masculinity and femininity. Corey does make that distinction, but it's clear that he is explaining it to men. In some ways, the book seems condescending and patronizing to women. Perhaps that is intentional, to meet the male reader where he likely is, and perhaps to get him on the author's side.I find the idea that men need to be MEN so women can be feminine, to be a very narrow way of looking at things, but again, men are already confused about basic concepts of communication and what women want, so I guess it makes sense to polarize the genders for the sake of the average reader. I think it would have helped to clarify this earlier on in the book instead of waiting until the end. I do like how Corey explained that women can become more masculine when their male partner is too feminine, which I hadn't really thought about before, but I agree with. My husband has been a weenie for so long, I had to wear the pants, so to speak, because things had to get done. As a result, I leaned further and further into my masculinity to compensate for my husband's lack of effort, responsibility, presence and strength. I often rationalized that, as a bisexual woman, I go through phases, moving back and forth along the feminine /masculine spectrum. It hadn't really occurred to me that I became more butch when my husband was weaker and more pathetic, always leaving all the decisions and responsibilities of everything to me. I think I did the same thing as a child, because so much was placed upon my shoulders. It's hard to do all the work of a woman (men don't realize we do more in general), plus all the work of a male partner when wearing a skirt and high heels. It's hard to feel sexy, feminine and desirable when your male partner is lazy, disrespectful, disengaged and generally takes everything for granted.I give the book 5 stars instead of 4 because I think this revelation alone was worth it for me. I am polyamorous. My other male partner is far more masculine, respectful, present and active, which does free me up to present myself in a more feminine way. I can be more feminine (not weak) around him, because he is more masculine (not controlling or possessive). I also found that because my husband is so jealous and controlling of me, I often played my looks down and dressed more like a man so he would feel less jealous and threatened and make fewer passive aggressive comments about how much "work" I put into my appearance. He often shamed me for buying an occasional new garment or new piece of makeup, and when he says something positive about my looks, it always feels like a slight because he can't help but mention all the "work" I put into myself (which, by women standards, is minimal). I looked like a little boy for the majority of our 17 years together, but I wasn't like that when we met. I do (did) all the heavy lifting in the family and in our relationship, so I ended up looking and behaving more like a dude. I do wish this had been mentioned earlier in the book and more time had been devoted to this subject, however, because I was annoyed by the gender stereotypes until the author demonstrated an understanding of how we tend to compensate for our partners, not just in our behavior, but often in the way we dress and present ourselves to the world.I do like that the author supplements the book with numerous videos and articles, which do add further clarification and nuance. If a man just skims the book without watching the videos or reading the articles, he might get things wrong. Men are surrounded by messed up messaging in movies, music, video games, media, books, etc., so they could easily forget what they read or layer their own weird issues on top of what they read, resulting in a total misinterpretation.Overall, I think it's a good book for men. I wish there were more books like this because men really need help. Some of the language is kind of off-putting, especially about opening a woman's heart so she will spread her legs, or rewarding your date with the "flesh rocket". I suppose it's written that way because ultimately, for men, it's really all about bedding a woman. As a woman, I found that condescending and kind of gross, but I guess the author felt it necessary to remind the readers that they won't get laid if they don't get it together, which is true, albeit crass.

I thought the overall book was good and a worthwhile idea. It definitely pointed out a few things I hadn't realized about how I was communicating with women.The biggest takeaway for me — and what I would want anyone reading this review to remember — is simple: women want two things — to be listened to, and to laugh.That's it. Listen and make them laugh.(This is coming from a guy who's lived a few years and learned a few things.)As for whether you need to read the book 50 times like the author suggests — that really depends on your level of comprehension. Personally, I think reading it twice is enough for most people to get the message.Overall, a good book.

I must admit i was very skeptical at first. I was looking for some dating advice, because I kept getting the same result with all my relationships, or with woman i was interested in. Well being someone who isn't affraid to learn new things, or look for help. I googled dating advice. Came across several dating coaches, but they all want money, or you could just tell they were clueless. I don't mind paying for information, but i have to know the price i am paying is worth the value that i paid. Well Corey Wayne's business model is similar to Google, which is he gives all his work away for free. If you find value in it, great, he is happy to have helped you, he appreciates donations, but to refer his work to friends, families, and strangers, is his preferred payment. Well i purchased the kindle version (even though i get it for free through his website understandingrelationships.com, as well as have told at least 80-100 men and women about this book. Only 3 have actually taken it seriously and read the book or listened to his videos. But hey, i can show them the way, but they have to do their part.After watching a few different dating coaches videos, that just seemed lame and like a waste of time, i almost gave up. I was thinking for a second that maybe i am doing things right, because what i was hearing wasnt going to change anything. Then i came across Corey Wayne, and started watching some of his YouTube videos. He has thousands of them. In each of his videos, there is the main title or subject of the video, his quote that he has for that topic, then emails from people like me that either went through similar situations, or are currently going through situations. He reads the emails and explains what you should do as the man, or how the woman is reacting, and why she is reacting that way. Well that is how it started. Listening to videos that i would come across, and see if they were relevant to my experiences, in the way i acted (whether the result was good or bad), and the way she acted (whether the result was good or bad). Well as i continued listening to more and more videos, the things i did whether they were the way he taught, or opposite, matched up with the result that he said would match up with.So then i started paying attention to people out in public, and seeing first hand if the stuff was the truth, or just some guy that was right some of the time. Well. just so everyone knows he is right all the time. As i started watching people, whether they were by themselves, or on a date, i could tell by their body language what was going on with the, if a man and woman were on a date i knew if he was doing things the right way like a 3% man would, or if he was a 97%'er like i used to be.Now i am going strong with an amazing, beautiful woman for over 4 years. We have an amazing relationship, with great communication, trust, fun. excitement, full of love, joy, and laughter. We don't fight, we have discussions, communicate with each other like adults, and resolve any issues there might be.