You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation Paperback – July 24, 2001

I recently acquired the book "You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation," and I must say it's a beautiful addition to my collection. The book arrived perfectly packaged and looked like new. The cover and pages were in excellent condition, making it a visually appealing addition to my bookshelf.As for the content, the exploration of communication dynamics between women and men is insightful and thought-provoking. The author's perspective offers a fresh and engaging take on understanding the nuances of conversation between genders. I appreciate the clarity of the writing style, making complex concepts accessible and compelling.Overall, I love this book. It not only provides valuable insights into communication patterns but also does so in a way that is approachable and enjoyable to read. If you're interested in the dynamics of communication between men and women, this book is a must-have, and getting a copy in such pristine condition only enhances the reading experience.

Science-based rational examination of the different ways people communicate. Delineates many distinct "styles," some of which we may have sensed but not fully appreciated.While the book speaks in general of "men versus women," of course it's more nuanced than that. My first reading was years ago, but it warrants a periodic reread. Very helpful in appreciating subtext, as most people really don't say exactly what they mean.More than perhaps ever before, we need to be more precise in our communication--and Dr. Tannen's work is an excellent place to start.

The examples of dialog seem embellished. For example, when the author recounts an interaction with a waitress, the reply of the waitress seems...I don't know, theatrical? I believe the author has some great insights important for people to know. But all you really need to know about the interactions between men and women is that men assess and react to all interactions by gauging the level of threat to themselves, their families, or livelihoods. This is, by far, the most interesting insight. Whereas women see, "How are you doing today?" as sincere request for information, men see it as a need to defend their position and a potential reminder for their shortcomings, whatever that may be...in work, love, home, etc. But it depends on the person asking. It all comes down to one-upmanship. Men see other men as either one up or one down. I think women do this too, but not as dramatically. So when you ask your husband if he took out the trash, he sees this as a need to defend himself. Either he did it, proving he's a man of his word, or he didn't and he must now defend himself against being seen as failure. It all makes sense now, but I got that from the first chapter.I also sense that this book, written by a woman, takes an unconscious bias towards women and rather than a neutral and scholarly approach, this attempts to defend the discourse style of women. It reads more like a self-help book for women. Which is fine, but it's not neutral if that's what you're looking for.

This is the second time I have read this book. In my first relationship, it helped me to understand her point of view. Unfortunately, we never got past that. In my current relationship, we are reading this book and another by the same author simultaneously and discussing the meaning and implications of the material. I find that the material is very good at explaining common misunderstandings that arise in relationships. It's not very good at going beyond that, i.e. explaining or suggesting what you do with the new understanding. However, in my opinion, having awareness of what is happening is a major step in moving forward in any relationship. That is what the book was meant to do and it succeeds very well. I recommend it to anyone who finds themselves stuck in a recurring loop of "he said, she said."

I enjoyed reading it and found it informative about language and communication. But generalizations about men and women gets annoying after a while. I have known many men, who mostly use rapport talk, and many women who, mostly use report talk. I know women, who gets combative when offered help and men who doesn't mind asking for help. I think all of us use all the communicative methods presented here in our lives at different occasions. How much we rely on one or the other depends on the individual and not gender determined. I can say the same thing for every single communication dichotomy presented in the book.So, it is good for understanding and learning to identify the differences in verbal communication as long as you can disregard the genderstereotypes .

As the author suggests, men-women conversation is indeed a cross-cultural communication. Most of the time, men are focused on maintaining independence, while women are focused on maintaining intimacy. Moreover, men tend to convey metamessages of status while women convey metamessages of connection. While the language of conversation for women is oriented to generate rapport, men use conversation as a means to preserve independence, negotiate and maintain status.I strongly recommend this book to everyone who wants to learn to recognize and understand the differences between men and women communication styles.

Haven't finished it yet but so far it's a great book!! I honestly didn't think it would be so interesting but it has SOO many spot on real life situations and explains why your spouse might feel a certain way about something and you feel the complete opposite! Like when she says you don't care about her because you did something without asking or telling her first, explains the reasons why men do what they do and why women do what they do! An eye opener for both genders for sure!!

“Nothing hurts more than being told your intentions are bad when you know they are good, or being told you are doing something wrong when you know you’re just doing it your way.”Would be awesome if there was some sort of assessment that could help folks understand whether they are on the spectrum of masculine versus feminine communication tendencies.

ce livre est en bon état

This is quite famous book describing communication gaps between gender. I read this book when I was a student. Lots of authers refers to this book. Beat practice for understand the way of thinking in different gender. You can improve your conversation.

Libro in ottime condizioni come da descrizione.La copertina è differente da quella nella foto perché è un'altra edizione, ma sinceramente non ha importanza per me.

Excellent