Designer Relationships: A Guide to Happy Monogamy, Positive Polyamory, and Optimistic Open Relationships

I enjoyed this book, though it didn't meet my expectations. The back matter implied that it would be insightful for all sorts of relationships, but ended up being 75% about polygamy and swinging. Nothing wrong with those topics! I just wasn't looking for that based on the description.Good insights, though, even if it does get a bit woo in places.

I am a mod on the largest mono-poly relationship group on Facebook, and this is one if the only books we recommend.It is a great resource whether you are polyamorous, monogamous, or somewhere in between, and dies not treat polyamory as somehow "more evolved" than monogamy.It really focuses on being intentional with your relationships and not doing things just because they are expected.I cannot rate this book highly enough!!!

A very robust overview of Open / Poly relationship concepts. Certainly eye-opening for people who haven't considered the options. Mark & Patricia don't endorse any way of relating over the other; they want to be sure everyone has thought about their choices, and are in the relationship model that works to best satisfy the inner self.They write: "You are the designer, along with your partner or partners, and it's up to you to create a relationship that works and to redesign it when and if appropriate. We invite you to move beyond the binary thinking that deems monogamy and various forms of consensual nonmonogamy to be irreconcilable opposites."It includes some good advice for keeping your relationship strong, which follows on their amazing  Partners In Passion: A Guide to Great Sex, Emotional Intimacy and Long-term Love  which I'd suggest is must-have reading for everyone in (or thinking of being in) a relationship. Ie: everyone!

I have strongly recommended this book to people who attend the poly Meetups that I host, but this is not just another "how to do polyamory right" book. It's much more than that.This is a book that will help you to really think about, talk about, plan, and craft the meaningful, lasting, loving relationship YOU want -- whether it's monogamous, polyamorous, or any of the many other varieties of lovestyles that exist. Design the relationship that fits who you are, how you and your partner(s) want to live and love. And then make it stronger.A clearly, thoughtfully written guide written by two people whose expertise in the field I have admired for the past 16 years.I bought a copy for me, read it, and then bought copies for friends and family.

I’m a sexuality educator and professor, and I wish I had had this book for the class I just concluded (Psychology of Human Sexuality). It pulls in so many seemingly disparate parts of our sexual selves; from the importance of touch and eye-gazing practices, to parsing out different ways of being in relationship, to practical advice for any partnered people to use together.

I love this book, but although it presents itself as being inclusive to monogamy, almost every mention of it is in a very negative light. While I agree on most points, some people I've felt could benefit a lot from the later parts of the book were so put off by the early "attacks" on monogamy that they never got to the rest of it. This book is pretty clearly for people who are already fed up with "traditional" monogamy and looking to see what else is available.

Very informative about various relationship structures. Would have been of more value earlier in my non-monogamy research, but still a solid book. Useful for monogamous and non-monogamous people alike, I would think

This book is definitely for all relationships, the authors propound being aware and up front about what kind of relationship a person wants regardless of what that relationship looks like. While paying equal attention to monogamous and non-monogamous relationships throughout the book, the authors also include marginalized groups in their writings. All in all, a very good book that I believe will stand up to the tests of time.

This book makes the valuable argument that people for whom monogamy is optimal still benefit from making informed choices and designing their relationships with awareness of other alternatives and free from dogmatic thinking. Beyond that though, it is a work of advocacy for non-monogamy, drawing on the usual one-sided echo-chamber of arguments that support for non-monogamy is overwhelming in nature and in history, and that most people who are happy in monogamous arrangements would be even happier in non-monogamous ones.I suppose that it makes sense that if monogamy has worked for you, you don't dedicate your life to writing books, advocacy, or producing research to support your point of view... and you might also be less inclined to spend as much money for books and therapy on the subject.

A great book for anyone and any type of relationship, from monogamous to open, on how to experience greater trust, pleasure and intimacy! Dispels myths and norms that most of us hold to be 'truths' in a clear and matter-of-fact tone that is a pleasure to read.

It's great to have a ressource that shows a wide spectrum of relationships; really helpful. Currently trying to make all my friends read it.

A very palatable walkthrough of the various different forms of relating. Unlike other similar books (cough cough ethical slut cough) it doesn't judge you for what you choose, so long as you choose consciously.It gives you the words, and from there, the though tools, to understand how we relate to our partner(s), whether those forms work for you, and what forms could possibly work better.Strongly recommended.

A complete resource, if sometimes a little bit indirect on its advice. Full of good suggestions and meat for meditation, however. Recommended