Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live

My husband had a horrible low wage job. I was exhausted all the time because he dropped me off at my work super early in the morning, so he could get to his job early. One night, I couldn't sleep. I was tired of being tired all the time, and unable to sleep on top of it. I thought, "What if my husband quit his job and devoted his time and energy to serving me while starting his own business?" I felt a gasp in my stomach, like, "I want this." I approached him with the idea, and he was so grateful. He quit his nightmare job. As I am lazing around in bed writing this review, he is hanging my clothes up in my closet. It will be rough living on my wages while he gets his business going, but the fact that I will get more sleep and have more energy is priceless, as is the fact that he won't be upset on a daily basis over the treatment he got at his workplace. His admiring friends asked him, "what was your inspiration and motivation to start your own business?" He nodded towards me and said, "She is my inspiration and motivation." This is obviously not everyone's North Star. But the book helped me pay attention to my feelings, which I've always overlooked. My head makes decisions that got me a mostly mediocre to not-very-good life. I'm going with my gut now. On the last day of his former job, my husband called and asked me if he should give one of his superiors a business card to his new business. This man had caused him grief in the past. My head immediately went to, "Yes, the guy is loaded and that's potentially more business." But I spoke from my heart and gut. I said, "If you're questioning it, then no. This is about living the lives we want. We don't want any negative aspects." My husband agreed, and did not give his work-superior his business card. We've decided that our health and emotional well beings are worth more than my husband's low paying job that made both of us miserable. And my husband is a neat-freak who doesn't mind cleaning and hanging my clothes. He has 3 freelance jobs lined up already, and more on the way, making twice as much money in half the time. Every day he thanks me for making his dream come true, while he is making MY dreams come true...I don't have to do things I don't like, like hanging my clothes up, and I can go to work at a later time, get more sleep, and not be exhausted every day. We are more in tune with each other, and more considerate of each others' feelings, because we are working towards a greater good. Reading the book gave me a different perspective. My entire life before was about doing what I thought was right, versus going by my heart. Doing The Right Thing got me a life of exhaustion and misery. Going by my heart and gut is taking me to better places. I'll gladly give up a Starbucks Coffee and recreational shopping for things to make me feel better-- because when I get enough sleep and my husband dotes on me, I FEEL BETTER AND DON'T NEED TO BUY THINGS TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER. It's a little bit scary because he will be freelancing, and we don't know when the jobs will come in until he has a clientele. But the freedom from the burden of his previous, horrible horrible job is worth it. Not to mention, in his free time, while he's not working, it's all about taking care of me. I have to thank Martha for writing the book because it put my life and desires in a whole different perspective. Instead of how do I survive, it's more about how do I thrive. She is so inspirational and voice of truth. I reccommend this book. It speaks to that part of you that you've spent your whole life shutting up.

And I have read a lot of them. Maybe it was the combination of all of those that made me ready to take in this incredible book in such a life changing way. I can’t be sure. But I do know that small changes I have already made are improving my life a big ways! I love that there is a mix of science and wisdom from great spiritual leaders. There are several exercises built in so you can actually do the work while reading vs only being given a testimonial based on case studies. I enjoyed the humor and personality of the author that came through the words. It was far from a dull read. Highly recommend, but only if you feel called to read it.

I read this twice. Once before therapy, once after. Before therapy, I couldn't put any of her methods to use, since I couldn't see clearly--many of my thoughts/beliefs were an attempt to please the "everybodies" that Beck talks about. I couldn't even admit to myself that I really did hate my job (also an academic PhD, but in science). Multiple times she suggests therapy for readers if they can't do particular exercises. Do it! After a short time of coaching and therapy I was finally able to acknowledge to myself that I was stuck in my career because I really didn't like it, and it just didn't fit me...I could understand and accept my feelings better. Then I was able to pick up this book again and read it--now it makes more sense. If you are able to really access your feelings, then just read it...but if you feel murky and unsure of how you feel, just reading this book won't clear things up for you on its own...but it is a great tool to be used on your career/life journey.

This book is AMAZING. I've read a lot of self-help/personal growth books over the years. Many have been helpful. Many...tried, but not so much. THIS BOOK, however, blows them all away and leaves them in the dust. I'm literally, verbally recommending this to all my friends. And when they drag their feet to buy it, I remind and enthusiastically encourage them again. I owned this book in paperback several years ago. I loaned that to a friend. I bought it again, for my Kindle, and am re-reading it from the start. I've grown and changed a lot over the years since I last went through it. And it's tremendously helpful all over again, in new and powerful ways. Five stars isn't enough. I wish I could give more. Why does this book excel so much? The author speaks candidly and from the heart. Even throws in a little humor now and then. But above all, she speaks with unconditional love, compassion, support, belief, and encouragement. The book is also loaded with "exercises" and self-reflection questions. You can write directly in the book (blank spaces are provided). So it does more than give you general stuff to think about and remember (like most self-help books); it actually walks you through the process, helping you find YOUR OWN ANSWERS for SPECIFIC AREAS of your life, by the end of each chapter. I'm not even a third into the book yet (the second time around), and already my life is transforming in positive ways. Get this book. Even if you're not sure if it's for you. Even if your life is pretty good overall. Get it. It's worth it. You will still get SOMETHING valuable out of it, each time you read it. At least, I have.

On the whole, I am really NOT a fan of the self help genre. I find most self help books to be trite and filled with either common sense or really nutty ideas. This book was a really pleasant surprise. I stumbled upon it when I had decided that I desperately needed to leave my corporate job for my sanity, but was having trouble identifying what it exactly was that I wanted to do. I found the exercises in the book to be extremely helpful in assisting my in identifying the types of situations and people that drain me and those that fill me with energy and enthusiasm. Moreover, upon completing the exercises, it was painfully obvious to me what a poor fit the job I was preparing to leave truly was, which helped me to feel less guilty about making such a huge change, especially during a time so many are without jobs. If you are dissatisfied with your current life's work or are just feeling directionless and need some guidance, I think this book can serve as a very useful tool. Granted, the conclusions you'll hopefully come to as a result of reading this book won't come from an external source, but the book will serve to draw out and solidify what you know about yourself. Taking the steps to make the actual changes in your life is ultimately up to you.

I absolutely love the content, in that the author not only tells you to do it, but also gives you specific ways to go about it ("it" being moving toward your own North Star) I also loves that she does so with lots of humour. Although she still uses a lot of "big words" that I am not familiar with, she writes in a style that is easy to read and makes you want to keep on reading. It also makes me wish she was in my town so I could call her up and schedule personal time with her as my new life coach. While I have seen Martha on the Oprah Show, I never realized how much I would like her writing, until I started reading this book. In regard to the actual ordering of this book, I am disappointed that I ordered a used book that has someone elses writings in it. This book is also designed as a workbook and I find myself latching on to the previous owners thoughts and skipping my own a bit. Unless the previous owner easliy found her own North Star after reading this book, I can't imagine not keeping it for future reference and to re-read on occasion. Although my current therapist has recommended another book for me to read, I have every intention of re-reading this book again soon.

I’m about 50 pages in and a few things have struck me. The main premise of the book is splitting up the “social self” and “essential self.” The first thing that rubbed me the wrong way was how the author claimed that without tons of laws and rules, we’d all go around raping and pillaging and killing each other. This was disappointing. Does she really believe that fear of punishment is the primary reason people choose not to harm one another? God forbid we actually want to get along and chose to do so under our own volition. Later, she mentioned “resigning as a mood-altering behavior at least as powerful as smoking peyote”…no one smokes peyote, and doing so would destroy the compound meaning you wouldn’t feel the effects. Where are these examples coming from? Will see how the rest of it turns out but the general feeling I’m getting is that there’s a number of strange biases throughout that don’t make sense.

I can't say enough about this book. I am one of those fools who reads way too many self-help / pseudo-psychology books. The are like magnets for me. ALmost always I am disappointed. I say to myself..."they wrote a whole book about this??? It could have been stated in one paragraph." Not so with Finding Your Own North Star. This book is incredible. It not only inspires and gives hope and beautiful sparks for one's intuition -- more importantly, the author offers clear, concrete advice for taking this inspiration and really, truly finding one's destiny. It's incredible. She deserves some sort of award, or to be independently wealthy for life or something. The book is life changing. I say this as someone who has read them all...for many, many years. This one is THE ONE. Also, just to make it all fun and entertaining, this author is incredibly witty and crazy. One warning: Don't expect to breeze through it. I'm a speed reader and it took me 8 hours to read these 365 pages, and there are some things I still have to do. I hope everyone who reads this finds their North Star.

This book offers clear guidance on how to make sure your life is on the right track, particularly if you are feeling a bit lost. A positive, uplifting read.

friendly, helpful and do-able ... feeling very positive about this and how I can keep moving in my right direction

Loving this read so far. Easy to read, things are clicking. I look forward to reading more!

È così spesso difficile capire cosa vogliamo fare quando ci sentiamo bloccati o smarriti! Questo libro spiega perfettamente le cause che ci fanno sentire così. Il libro è scritto da una psicologa, quindi vi sia ottima base per capire noi stessi. Inoltre, l'autrice ci aiuta ad individuare i nostri punti di forza come quelli su cui lavorare. Ma soprattutto aiuta a capire dove ci siamo persi, cosa ci allontana dalla nostra Stella Guida e come rimediare! :)

I never read "how to books". There are so many of b...t one written just for the money, that I simply don't want to waste money. I am in my mid-50s, and quite deep into psychology. I got interested in this book via the interest in authors' coaching school because I am considering a life coach career. Martha is a successful transformation coach in the US so I wanted to test and try her way of coaching, and her method. The book is written in a very practical and entertaining way - it is obvious that Marta has a light pen and a great sense of humor. Also, the exercises are very good, some of them eye-opening in spite of my being already quite in-depth in psychology. The only challenge is that it is written for Americans, what I mean by that is that some statements and questions in exercises will be understood fully by someone raised in America. For me, some of them do not ring a bell because of cultural differences, but I understand the message. I think it is a book worth reading. You will get out wiser than you were before.