--- product_id: 70144453 title: "The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity" price: "16828CFA" currency: XOF in_stock: true reviews_count: 13 url: https://www.desertcart.sn/products/70144453-the-state-of-affairs-rethinking-infidelity store_origin: SN region: Senegal --- # The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity **Price:** 16828CFA **Availability:** ✅ In Stock ## Quick Answers - **What is this?** The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity - **How much does it cost?** 16828CFA with free shipping - **Is it available?** Yes, in stock and ready to ship - **Where can I buy it?** [www.desertcart.sn](https://www.desertcart.sn/products/70144453-the-state-of-affairs-rethinking-infidelity) ## Best For - Customers looking for quality international products ## Why This Product - Free international shipping included - Worldwide delivery with tracking - 15-day hassle-free returns ## Description “Perel is a master at what she does.” ― The New Yorker “[Perel] knows the depth of your shame and the vibrancy of your lust.”- The New York Times From iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity comes a provocative and controversial look at infidelity with practical, honest, and empathetic advice for how to move beyond it. An affair can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience―universally forbidden yet universally practiced―is poorly understood. Why do people cheat―even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? For a decade, psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with cheating. In this illuminating book, she weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis to provide insights and answers to help couples survive and thrive. Betrayal hurts, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage―with the same person. Affairs, Perel argues, have a lot to teach us about modern relationships―what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern relationships in its many variations. “Esther Perel is widely recognized as the world’s leading expert on marriage.”- Sunday Times Style “A fresh look at infidelity.” - Los Angeles Review of Books “Perel―a whip-smart emotional savant who pierces through human defenses with the efficiency of a surgeon―is a wonder to behold.”- Huffington Post “She doesn’t peddle in bromides or offer a shoulder to cry on―she’s too busy trying to shake you to your senses, insisting on your agency, your vitality, and your complicity in what happens in your marriage.” - The New York Times “[The State of Affairs] explores a vast landscape of the adulterous terrain . . . in a way that’s deeply humane and never preachy.” - NPR Review: Spectacular Book - Spectacular book — an easy read. I truly couldn’t put it down. The topic is especially relevant if you’ve experienced betrayal. I also appreciated how this book opened my eyes to other things: events, behaviors, and different people’s perspectives. I would definitely recommend it. Review: Riverting - Mind Consuming:) - What can I say, a book every person should read. I decided to read the book after watching numerous interviews of Ester. Her thought process, reasoning and advice are all so enticing. You just want to binch all her material. The way she brings complicated relational issues to us, and how she delve deeper is mind blowing. This book is no different, her words fly off the paper and her reasoning and conceptualization of each couples delimma is absolutely beautiful. The way how she doesn't judge your wrongs but understand she is there to listen, delve deeper and help one make sense of the why. I am in no way in a marriage of infidelity but I know ppl who had gone through it, who had done it to their partners, who are being judge for it, and of whom had lost partners and yet they have no closure of the "why". I was one of those who would simply just judge someone who committed infidelity and see the partner as the victim, never thinking even in this story their are two sides to the coin and if we take the time to delve deeper we too would realize often time there is no victim because both parties have a part in what transpired. And this is the reason why I wanted to learn more about why ppl go astray, why we wonder or long for something different at times and what to do when that happens. I realized we are all just imperct human being, cheating is not just the physical, it is the emotional. Some of us cheat in our minds and that is also something we need to talk over and deal with. I certainly have found myself in the mind cheating sphere and this book really help you dig deeper and finding answers. This book is not only for those who committed infidelity or who had been cheated on, it's for everyone because we are all capable of infidelity in one form or another. The sooner you learn about it, the better you'll be able to understand and be less judgmental to those even yourself committing it. ## Technical Specifications | Specification | Value | |---------------|-------| | Best Sellers Rank | #13,540 in Books ( See Top 100 in Books ) #24 in Marriage #62 in Love & Romance (Books) #104 in Interpersonal Relations (Books) | | Customer Reviews | 4.6 out of 5 stars 5,625 Reviews | ## Images ![The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity - Image 1](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/81QN8MLmxaL.jpg) ## Customer Reviews ### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Spectacular Book *by A***H on December 6, 2025* Spectacular book — an easy read. I truly couldn’t put it down. The topic is especially relevant if you’ve experienced betrayal. I also appreciated how this book opened my eyes to other things: events, behaviors, and different people’s perspectives. I would definitely recommend it. ### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Riverting - Mind Consuming:) *by T***H on July 3, 2023* What can I say, a book every person should read. I decided to read the book after watching numerous interviews of Ester. Her thought process, reasoning and advice are all so enticing. You just want to binch all her material. The way she brings complicated relational issues to us, and how she delve deeper is mind blowing. This book is no different, her words fly off the paper and her reasoning and conceptualization of each couples delimma is absolutely beautiful. The way how she doesn't judge your wrongs but understand she is there to listen, delve deeper and help one make sense of the why. I am in no way in a marriage of infidelity but I know ppl who had gone through it, who had done it to their partners, who are being judge for it, and of whom had lost partners and yet they have no closure of the "why". I was one of those who would simply just judge someone who committed infidelity and see the partner as the victim, never thinking even in this story their are two sides to the coin and if we take the time to delve deeper we too would realize often time there is no victim because both parties have a part in what transpired. And this is the reason why I wanted to learn more about why ppl go astray, why we wonder or long for something different at times and what to do when that happens. I realized we are all just imperct human being, cheating is not just the physical, it is the emotional. Some of us cheat in our minds and that is also something we need to talk over and deal with. I certainly have found myself in the mind cheating sphere and this book really help you dig deeper and finding answers. This book is not only for those who committed infidelity or who had been cheated on, it's for everyone because we are all capable of infidelity in one form or another. The sooner you learn about it, the better you'll be able to understand and be less judgmental to those even yourself committing it. ### ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Great book, has really helped me understand infidelity *by M***A on December 18, 2019* Great book, has really helped me with my marriage and helped me understand more about affairs. Take note that I read this book almost 6-8 months after discovery of the affair and months of marriage therapy so I believe this book would not have been as helpful earlier in the process. I don’t believe my head would have been in a place of willingness to hear some of the things in this book. However, every scenario described in the book, at first I’m always upset at the cheater and can’t understand why they would do that, but after Ester explains both sides, even though I don’t agree that an affair is the right choice or a good solution, I do understand better and see that there is not always a clear right and wrong party. Overall I really like this book and feel it has really helped me in understanding affairs in general as well as in my own marriage. I will caution, like previous reviewers commented, a chapter near the end of the book suggests that maybe the problem isn’t infidelity but our society’s definition of marriage and maybe we need to rethink the boundaries of what is acceptable and what is allowed in a marriage. This, in my opinion, is flawed and goes against everything I believe. Besides this one chapter dedicated to this idea, there are moments sprinkled in the book where she hints at this notion but she herself seems confused on if that is the best solution as most of the time the relationships with more liberal open rules still end up having affairs, so her defense on this idea doesn’t have much weight. Other than those moments I love the book and it has truly helped me understand and forgive and move on, not forget, but forgive and move on. My favorite part of the book is a chapter near the end that talks about three different types of couples (referring to ones that stay together after infidelity), the ones who never move on, they stay hurt and constantly bring up the affair and the pain and blame each other, the ones that sweep it under the rug and almost pretend it never happened and “move on” but they don’t really move on because they live in denial that anything even happened, and then there are those that use the affair to transform their marriage and find the positives from the affair and can connect more deeply because of it. I gave this book 4 stars instead of 5 mainly because of the ideas I don’t agree with regarding redefining marriage, a notion that half the time she seems to be on the fence about herself but has a whole chapter dedicated to it as well as sprinkled hints about through out the book. Other than that I do like the book and found it insightful and loaded with good ideas and mainly understanding. ## Frequently Bought Together - The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity - Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence - ESTHER PEREL Where Should We Begin? 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