Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself

Hello Healing Seekers,It took a year to write an honest review of this book and what it did for me.This book has literally given me back my life. Before reading it I was spiritually dying and I was numb and confused.I was in way too much pain to fully understand and express the fullest extent of my pain to anyone. I was being abused by my narcissistic mother in law. All my in laws and my own family as well are toxic narcissists. This narcissistic abuse went on without my permission for ten years; yes, a decade. I cringe thinking about how much of my life I lost being touched by narcissistic evil.I live in a part of the south that is still very backwards. They are racist in their mentality and attitudes. However we have been lucky to be living in a beautiful southern town that is a not as narcissistic as the surrounding citiesMy racist, toxic and narcissistic in-laws tried to break me. They did everything in their power to undermine mypositive and happy existence. They sabotaged my beautiful wedding day, all of my accomplishments, my homes,my businesses, my joy, and honestly my very existence.I have always know that my in-laws were unhealthy and toxic folks, however I did not understand the darkness and evil that narcissistic people carry. They do everything in their power to destroy you and then "become you" at the same time. I have lived in many states and countries and I have endured some very difficult life challenges in my life, including losing my father to murder, however being a victim of this narcissistic abuse by my in-laws pales in comparison to the hurt, the sadness, the emptiness, the loneliness and the devastation of my self identity and my soul. It has been more painful than I am willing to admit.I got very tired of defending myself against my narcissistic mother in-law's silent, covert and at times overt narcisstic attacks on my well being and on my life. One day I fell to my knees in my living room and wept and asked God to deliver me from this evil and toxic abuse. I asked God to send me some divine intervention. A miracle or healing that I would cause me to stop having mild panic attacks when my mother in law sent her Flying Monkeys to do her abusive attacks on me and my husband. My sister in-law demanded to visit with news that she was pregnant on December 28th 2018. This came after not being close to them for many years. Suddenly she wants to connect with us, really ?It made sense that this little flying monkey wanted to boast and rub her pregnancy in my face, knowing that we have been trying to get pregnant for years without success.I was infuriated and very upset to the point that I had a mild panick attack. I was forced to dig deeper and see why I am having these strong feelings. I immediately knew in that moment siting on the floor that I had to seek some help for the anxiety they have been causing me for the last ten years. I questioned consellors in the area to see if they could help, but due to their bias and backwards attitude towards anyone that is different than them and their views they could not help. I was forced to revisit my childhood as an abused and helpless little girl who sought comfort and healing by reading lots of books. As I regained my composure, got up off the floor and sat cuddled in my favoritechair as I starting searching for helpful and healing books for the narcissistic abuse that I was experiencing.And there it was.Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself Paperback – July 29, 2016 by Shahida ArabiAfter I placed several books in my cart I still debated if this anxiety that I was experiencing was real or my fault or if I should I even get these books. Immediately felt a sense of calm as I reaffirmed that I deserved to feel better That I deserved happiness and joy and restoration of myself, my true self. I was not going to stay a victim of narssissistic abuse anymore. I said to myself not another day, hour or minute. My husband walked into the room and I told him that I was going to get these books to try to heal my wounds and he said ok I will get them for you right now. That was truly the first time in a long time that I felt ok again in my skin. I intutively knew that this was going to be the start of my healing from Narcissistic abuse by my In-laws and toxic people.Five months later I have read three booksBecoming the Narcissist's Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself Paperback – July 29, 2016 by Shahida ArabiI have also read Psychopath Free (Expanded Edition): Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships With Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other Toxic People Paperback – September 1, 2015 by Jackson MacKenzie (Author) I will leave reviews on this book soonWhole Again: Healing Your Heart and Rediscovering Your True Self After Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse Paperback – January 8, 2019 by Jackson MacKenzie (Author)I will leave a review on this book soon.In the five months since reading Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself Paperback – July 29, 2016 by Shahida ArabiI have become enlightened about Narcissist and their evil tacticsI walk away much faster when I see Narcissist patterns in anyoneI am ruminating alot less,I feel more peaceful in my spiritI feel more present in my lifeI am not obessing about my narcissitic in laws and toxic people as much.I feel much more connected to my husband; more present.I look forward to small treats and accomplishmentsI am enjoying my Chai Latte so much more nowI have stopped obessing about moving out of state, back to NYC to get away from the narcsI have stopped obessively working as a way to cope with the narcissist abuseI really enjoy my quiet time again, like reading my books and getting educated on toxic people, so I can protect myself against their toxic and harmful negativityI sleep so much better. I also use hemp seed oil to help with my chronic anxiety and it works so very well for me.I have been making my mental health my priority.We now live by the rule NO CONTACT NO SUPPLY WITH NARCSI am feeling so very good about life again. It is a miracle that one book, Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself Paperback – July 29, 2016 by Shahida Arabi could change your life and your relationship with yourself and such offer guidance. It is a compass to understanding narcissistic abuse.Finally, I was slowly dying and dimming my own light as a way not to trigger the Narcissict abusive in-laws and toxic folks in our community. Shahida Arabi has given me the permission to heal by providing a light where I lived in the darkness of Narcissist Abuse. She reached out and with her fierce, bold and courageous truth she gave me water I was thristy for. I am no longer confused and overwhelmed. I now no longer feel so much toxic shame all the time.Shahida Arabi may you always be healthy, courageous and fierce and may God give you the strength to always do your best work. I am so very proud of you and all the work your are doing on behalf of all the victims of Narcissictic Abuse.God bless you and thank you for giving me the lesson and the compass to get on with my life after being a abused by narcissicts for a decade.Warm regardsGail H

This is not the first book I have read on NPD. I wish this would have been the very first book I read, instead. It would have saved me of much headache and heartache. I am not finished reading this book, but I had to come in here and provide a review already. Just from the very first pages, this book has been able to help me understand my own personal situation with the narcissist in my life. A book that finally says it clearly the way it is and with sounded advise, not just for professionals in the field, but for the regular folk who has unfortunately been the victim of narcissist abuse. Because we have to call it for what it is: Abuse. I wish the courts in this country would be given this book and more education on this matter, especially when there are children involved. Courts force you to share custody with the narcissist parent when children and the former spouse should actually be allowed to keep contact to a minimum or no contact at all. In this particular case, exposure to the narcissist is not really a good idea for developing spirits and minds. Anybody who knows anything about NPD will tell you that the best thing to do is to go no contact. Other books suggest to remother the narcissist or do this or that. It does not work with these individuals because in their minds, they are always right and the whole world is conspiring against them. That's the main reason why neither the courts, nor supposed trained professionals can provide a diagnostic of NPD for those individuals because they can put a great act together for the whole world to see. By the time you realize what you're dealing with, you're already caught in their web of lies and deceive. Shahida Arabi explains all of this very clearly, in a way that anybody can understand. She has included clear examples of situations that are the "norm" for those suffering from this abuse. Anybody can see the scars left by violent physical abuse, but when it comes to emotional abuse, it is very difficult to prove in court or even to those who may be close to the victim. Shahida explains all the tools that a narcissist will use to control those around him or her. She shares her own personal and professional experience, as well as those of victims who have entrusted her with their own experience. Some reviews say that she's a bit repetitive at times. I have noticed that while reading the book. But believe me, repetition can be good to make some points, especially after you have been a victim yourself. Some things need to be repeated more than once because you have been gaslighted so much that you have trouble discerning reality from fog and you keep doubting yourself after so much abuse of this kind.For what my own personal opinion might be worth, and from the view point of someone who has suffered the abuse of a narcissist, this book is a must-read. If you're lost and you don't know where to go, you feel isolated and your gut feeling is telling you that something has to change and you don't know who to trust or where to go for help, start with this book. It will help you understand your own situation, why the narcissist in your life treats you kindly one moment to completely ignore you or put you down the next; why that person accuses you of being controlling when you feel you have absolutely no control over your life and you feel that he or she is actually controlling you, instead; you will understand where did that loving, caring, compassionate person of the early stages of your relationship has gone and why you might be now dealing with someone who doesn't even resemble that soulmate of yours; and more. I love the fact that she's been there and she's done her hard work to understand this pathology not only from a victim's stance, but from a professional point of view.I also got the Kindle version since it is free when you buy the book and I had absolutely no problems downloading it. I had noticed a few slight changes from the paper to the electronic version (I'm guessing one is a newer edition, not sure why there're these slight differences, but it seems to just be an editing thing.) But there are minimal and it doesn't affect. I love that I can read the book on my tablet or from the paper copy with no problems.I think I said enough. I could go on talking about it, but I will let the book speak for itself. Read the sneak-preview in here. If you're a victim, I'm sure you'll identify yourself even in those few pages. That's what happened to me. Only a victim can understand what I mean.

This book, wow, what can I say. There are so many words to describe this book. It's inisightful, transformative, enlightening, empowering,deep knowledge on this topic. Kuddos to Shadida Arabi. Deffiantly recommend this book.

Awesome book!My only complaint: at pages 138 to 144, all 18 examples are women victims.It would've been nice to have at least one male victim example to relate on... I felt a bit excluded, wondering if men can really be victims... :/

Is somebody devaluing your every move, but you didn’t manage to keep your distance? Read this book and your life will change - for the better!

If you are an abuse survivor, if you are some one who doesn't know what's happening with you in your one sided relationships...... Read this book, liberate yourself and see the wonders happen...

Het boek der herkenning voor mij. Als je halverwege bent, kun je het eigenlijk wel wegleggen. Daarna volgt vooral herhaling van het 1e deel. Daar is natuurlijk wel een goede reden voor.Als je beschadigt bent door een narcist, is het heel goed en nodig er steeds aan herinnert te worden hoe doortrapt dat iedere keer weer gebeurd. Zodat je niet toch weer de fout in gaat bij de narcist, want jij voelt wel wat de narcist niet voelt. Zodat je niet toch weer aan jezelf gaat twijfelen. De herhaling dient vooral om dat te blijven beseffen en accepteren.Dit boek krijgt her en der ook wat kritiek. De schrijfster is niet academisch geschoold (geen MSc/psycholoog of ander labeltje) maar ervaringsdeskundige.Dat maakt haar voor mij juist wel de auteur om te lezen.Dit boek is in mijn ogen een standaardwerk voor iedereen die met een narcist te maken heeft (gehad). Lees dit boek.

Shahida Arabi exerceu um papel fundamental sobre mim na compreensão do puro mal narcísico. Quem ler o meu livro perceberá logo a influência da autora no que eu escrevo.