Spare: by Prince Harry, The Duke of Sussex

Prince Harry bares his soul in his raw and revealing memoir Spare, providing an intimate look into the highs and lows of his life as a member of the British royal family. From enduring the tragic loss of his mother to struggling with his role as the “spare” heir, Prince Harry comes across as startlingly candid yet heartbreakingly human. He holds little back in recounting his innermost struggles, though some may critique Spare as offensive to the royals. Ultimately, the memoir succeeds in humanizing the oft-criticized prince. One of the most striking aspects of Spare is Prince Harry’s gut-wrenching account of losing his mother, Princess Diana, at the tender age of twelve. He movingly describes learning she had died in a car crash in Paris, waiting in agonized hope that perhaps she had only been injured. Harry poignantly conveys his numb confusion when told the devastating news, writing “Everything distinctly, certainly, irrevocably, came to a stop.” He recalls being unable to cry at Diana’s funeral, having absorbed the royal family’s stoic creed. Harry touchingly expresses his enduring pain and longing for his mother in the months after her shocking death. He clung to the belief that her death was an elaborate hoax and she would eventually reappear, noting “I still hadn’t mourned, still hadn’t cried, except that one time at her grave, still hadn’t processed the bare facts.” Harry writes of his constant yearning for Diana, describing her as “light, pure radiant light,” too phenomenal to be gone. His palpable grief leaps off the page. The memoir highlights how profoundly losing Diana at such a young age shaped Harry. He links his eventual struggles with drugs and alcohol to unresolved trauma, poignantly recalling how he avoided quiet moments when difficult emotions might surface. Harry suggests it fueled his rebellious streak, noting he felt unable to publicly mourn while being labeled the “naughty” prince. His unwillingness to believe Diana was truly gone prevented him from properly grieving during his teen years. Harry paints a less than flattering picture of his father, King Charles III, referring to him as the distant, emotionally repressed “Pa” throughout the memoir. He portrays Charles as aloof, consumed by public perception, and unwilling to stand up for his sons against media attacks. Harry heartbreakingly describes craving physical affection from Charles as a child but rarely receiving it. However, glimmers of Harry’s love and sympathy for his father occasionally emerge. He expresses compassion for the bullying Charles endured at school, suggesting it influenced his guarded nature. Harry writes movingly of clutching Charles’ hand for comfort after Diana’s death, highlighting their rare moment of connection. While he clearly harbors resentment towards Charles, Harry poignantly shares that he simply wanted his father to be happy. Harry is also candid regarding his complex dynamic with Prince William, referring to him as “Willy” in the memoir. He characterizes their sibling relationship as deeply affectionate yet competitive, noting William’s dislike of being treated as a package deal. Harry recounts his eagerness to support William and sense of pride in playing the role of protective younger brother. However, he also shares William’s request that Harry pretend not to know him at school, illustrating the rift between them. Their warm but strained bond leaps off the page. Providing an intimate glimpse into the cloistered world of royals, Harry details the intense pressures and lack of privacy he endured growing up in the public eye. He expresses disdain for the superficiality of much royal life, writing that “Being a Windsor meant working out which truths were timeless, and then banishing them from your mind. It meant absorbing the basic parameters of one’s identity, knowing by instinct who you were, which was forever a byproduct of who you weren’t.” Prince Harry suggests his role as the “spare” heir contributed to his feelings of isolation, noting he was treated as merely a backup for William. He conveys his sense of destiny as the rebellious, misunderstood prince. Harry truly seems to come into his own during his military service, which he describes as a respite from royal duties. He provides colorful descriptions of his time in officer training, candidly admitting he struggled with academic lessons. Harry speaks poignantly of finding purpose, camaraderie, and escape from his privilege as a young soldier. His disappointment about being prevented from serving in Iraq due to safety concerns is palpable. He sees the military as a way to finally be “just Harry.” The most revealing glimpse into Harry’s state of mind comes as he describes struggling with substance abuse and anger issues in his late twenties. He admits that heavy drinking provided an outlet for deep unhappiness during this period, candidly writing “I was in a bad, bad place.” Harry acknowledges excessive partying and lashing out at paparazzi, reflecting “Something had to change. I knew I couldn’t go on like this.” His willingness to be so forthright makes these passages compelling. As he falls in love with Meghan Markle, Harry paints an idyllic portrait of their courtship. He speaks effusively about their instant connection, recalling thinking “Compared to her, Cinderella was the queen of long goodbyes.” shortly after being introduced. Harry movingly recounts his nervousness about introducing Meghan to his father and brother, conveying his anxiety about acceptance. He passionately defends Meghan against what he sees as racist media attacks on their relationship. Harry’s devotion toward Meghan and conviction that she was being treated unfairly inform his account of their dramatic decision to leave royal life. He criticizes the institution for failing to protect her as it had failed Diana. Harry conveys steely determination to avoid history repeating itself, whatever the cost. His partner loyalty and resolve to chart a new path for his young family shine through. While Spare focuses on Prince Harry’s personal struggles, he also offers glimpses into his philanthropic works and commitment to service. He writes movingly of his time in Africa, where he finds inspiration in aid workers helping vulnerable communities. Harry speaks with humility about striving to make a difference on meaningful causes like mental health, conservation, and supporting veterans. His social awareness provides balance to Spare’s heavier, introspective passages. Harry’s memoir has an undeniably introspective, self-focused slant that some may critique as self-pitying or indulgent. He can come across as resentful of royal duties and some may argue he places undue blame on press scrutiny over personal missteps. However, Spare generally succeeds as a nuanced self-portrait of the painfully human prince behind the media caricatures. With raw emotional honesty, Harry compellingly recounts his ongoing battles with childhood trauma, the loss of his mother, and struggles with his royal destiny. While certain revelations may be deemed offensive, potentially straining family relationships, the memoir marks a decisive step towards Harry telling his own imperfect but authentic story. With heartfelt candor and flashes of humor, Spare renders the flawed yet well-intentioned prince remarkably relatable.

I picked up Spare out of curiosity after becoming fascinated with The Crown, but what I found was a deeply moving memoir of a man trying, at every stage of his life, to become a better human being. What struck me most wasn’t his pain, it was his willingness to acknowledge his own flaws. It’s rare to see someone openly admit their shortcomings, confront them, take responsibility, and grow from them. Whether or not you agree with every choice he made, it takes remarkable courage to stand up for yourself when you’re being vilified by your country, the media, friends, and even your own family. In the end, Spare isn’t just a story about royalty. It’s a story about choosing self-preservation over expectation, and growth over silence.

I bought the book after watching the British tabloid media gaslight anyone who held a different opinion of Kate's cancer announcement and the time preceding it. Started to realise this was what Harry was talking about all along. Thought I would skip to the parts where he talks about the British media, but enjoyed the book much more than I expected and read the whole thing. I have a different perspective on him and his story after the book. The way he was preyed on by the media is shocking, as is the fact that no one took any steps to curb it, and many of the Firm's team fed info to the press themselves. Tina Brown addresses the hacking, stalking and invasion of Prince Harry and his girlfriends well in the Palace Papers (tracking devies on ex-gf's car, strangers sitting next to her on planes, paps waiting outside all the time) making the tabloid media's duplicity in court and collusion with the RF even more damaging. The RF protects the heir and doesn't seem to look out for the others in the same way unless the heir or heir-in-waiting swing some influence. Despite the pearl clutching by the media, he's probably held back much more than he's said. His love for Charles comes through, especially in moments when KC guides him to choose a career in the military, and empathises with him at other key moments; as does his love for Britain, his time in the forces etc The book begins with Harry's experience of Diana's death, and it feels like his understanding of the RF is so tied up with Diana's treatment by the family that it's cost him some historical perspective on the RF before her. The RF is unequal in its treatment of royal members, protecting the heir first at all costs and not as concerned with the others or their spouses and children. However, this doesn't feel like a sinister conspiracy as much as an unstated fact known by others in the system. Tina Brown's Palace Papers gives that context very richly, and reading it suggests that historically there was nothing much else a Spare (or their spouse) could do for work or money that would not have been seen as a threat to the heir. Even Charles was encouraged not to work too much and overshadow the Queen when he was in his 40s and older. Royal siblings are expected to serve the Firm, earn a LOT less than the heir, have to take what the RF gives them as earnings and aren't allowed to have outside interests, a tough bind. Wondering where all the adults in his life were who could have guided him in his journey. Glad to see him step into his own and family life, and hope the RF can make things right between themselves.

After so many positive reviews I bought this book. However, sometimes I just got bored between the pages. I have read other biographies as well, but I couldn't find it interesting enough to read all the pages.

SPARE by PRINCE HARRY(Edited) "HEIR VERSUS SPARE" Dr.Aniamma Joseph From age-old times, the second son is seen as the downtrodden one. We have a very good example of the Biblical story of the dutiful elder son and the freedom-loving and frolicking younger son. Prince Harry is in such a position as the younger sibling. It's said that his father thanked Diana for giving him "an Heir and then a Spare" at his birth. As I went through his book "Spare,” (Can I call it an autobiography, or a book of memoirs? No, I cannot!), it struck me as a sincere, frank outpouring of a grieved soul longing for freedom and pure joy. In fact, the book is the portrayal of a young man's incessant struggles towards self-discovery. The poignant image that looms large in his mind is that of his Mummy, the incredible Princess Diana. As a twelve-year boy, he had lost his mother. The trauma he underwent all through the years; the post-traumatic period he passed through ...You feel intensely for him in spite of his incompetence and failures in school. The Paparazzi-hunt that damaged Princess Diana does not leave her son either. Not truths, raw lies are spread in the tabloids. Just imagine, like Diana, Harry too had to hide in the boot of the car to escape from the hounds. The frustrations he suffered...the bleakness he saw around...the air of hostility and jealousy in the family...He was hunted everywhere, and even in his army life. He loved to be a soldier; It was his passion, but he could not pursue it as he was the target of the enemy country, and as the army might suffer for his sake, the Palace denied permission to continue. He could not indulge in any private or personal affairs; soon it will be made public and open, and the talk of the world. It will be “fictionalised" glaringly in the paper. There are times when Chels and Cress could make him happy and experience that sense of joy and freedom he had badly longed for. But they had to part from him as they too were targeted by the tabloid press and their personal life was lost in their heartless hunt. Harry had thick friends. There were people like Teej and Mike who were trustworthy and affectionate. At one moment he happens to call Teej, "Mom."...Only Mom...Mummy is the term reserved "only" for Diana, his Mummy. There are several occasions that remind him of her. He wanted to cry out whenever he remembered his mother, but he could not! He could feel her 'presence' in very crucial instances. From the beginning till the end her "unseen presence" is very much seen and felt by readers as well. Harry devoted himself to the humanitarian projects he had undertaken. He loved Africa and worked as an environmentalist. But when he was alone, or even with friends, his "Jekyll and Hyde" existence, as complained by Cress and Chels bothered him. He was being tormented by some anxiety and fear. When Meghana came into her life, she brought him the sense of joy and freedom he had been longing for all the while. To Charles, his father, Harry is always "my darling boy” even in his mid-thirties. But his mother's missing is hard to bear. The hostility of the older sibling is evident. The Palace is not simply controlled by the Monarchy. All the private moments will be made public. Even the decisions seem to be controlled and manipulated by the staff. Harry and Meghana lose all the provisions from the Palace because of this undue interference, and they have to leave the country for America. The Queen is an endearing personality in the book. Her love for her grandson pours noticeably in spite of her efforts to keep up the aura or formality attached to her position. The cultural differences between England and America are striking. While the British are too formal in manners, dress, food, etc. The Americans are quite informal. Let's hope that Meg and Haz can live with their kids peacefully and happily in the "New World." 09/05/2023 (More will follow...)

"Spare" by Prince Harry, offers readers a deeply personal and insightful journey into the life of one of the most intriguing figures of our time. With remarkable candor, Prince Harry shares his experiences, struggles, and triumphs, inviting readers to delve into the complexities of identity, duty, and resilience. Through poignant anecdotes and introspective reflections, Prince Harry navigates the challenges of growing up in the public eye, grappling with the weight of expectations, and ultimately forging his own path toward authenticity and purpose. His narrative is both compelling and relatable, offering valuable lessons on resilience, mental health, and the power of vulnerability. What sets "Spare" apart is Prince Harry's unwavering commitment to honesty and openness. He fearlessly confronts difficult topics, including loss, trauma, and the search for belonging, with a rare sincerity that resonates long after the final page. In doing so, he not only sheds light on his own journey but also inspires readers to confront their own struggles with courage and compassion. Moreover, "Spare" is more than just a memoir; it's a call to action. Prince Harry shares his passion for service and advocacy, highlighting the importance of using one's platform for positive change. From his advocacy for mental health awareness to his dedication to environmental conservation, his commitment to making a difference is palpable throughout the book, leaving readers inspired to contribute to a better world. In "Spare," Prince Harry invites readers on a transformative journey of self-discovery, resilience, and hope. With its powerful message and compelling narrative, this book is a must-read for anyone seeking inspiration and insight into the human experience.

I never paid attention to the drama in Britain while this was happening in real time. But I found a hard bound copy of this sitting in a store and flipped through it. So I decided to buy the ebook and read the whole thing. This is wholly focussed on Harry's side of the story- to the extent that there's nothing much about the others in the family. I was sometimes left wondering what was William upto in childhood etc. By the end of it, you wonder why the media and the royal family chose to treat him like an outsider - cutting him off and treating Meghan like an outsider. I guess some people just get a raw deal in life and Harry happens to be one of them. And this despite losing Diana to paparazzi! The royal family hasn't done anything to control the total invasion of reporters in the life of the royals. I don't believe that they are as helpless as they seemed to be while the world press lashed out at Meghan. Their behaviour transcends human courtesy for other humans at a basic level. If the monarchy is that powerful, they can lay the law down for the paparazzi making it strong enough to spare the lives of their own family members. It's a long read and covers literally every part of Harry's life till the time he and his wife renonuce their titles and move away.

The Spare - by Prince Harry - Book Review My Guru says, "The ways of Karma are unfathomable". Read this book to understand the gravity of this wisdom completely. Terrifically written, heartbreakingly sad, numbingly melancholic and teeth-grindingly frustrating, "Spare" makes you relish your banality and being a commoner. This is the story of Prince Harry, narrated by himself, as truthfully honestly as he can be. Striking, revealing and deeply painful, I recommend it as a "Must read". The tale of a young boy who is forever hayntee by the loss of his mother, terrible relations with his family and constant torture by the press. A must-read.

A must read - and before you see all the entirely false media snippets in the press. The Prince of Hearts speaks - a raw, honest, and tender account. So heartbreaking, devastatingly shocking and sad at times, but with so much humour - it’s really hilarious and funny in places. It also is a beautiful love story and a story of hope. I was somewhat surprised by how self-reflective he has become, and really enjoyed the way he describes his experiences. I was deeply touched in many places - laughed, cried, was angry, surprised, confused - all the emotions. I loved what he says about being in Africa and in the bush, to which I can relate to so much and have experienced this strange depth (‘the world before it developed into the world’). It shows him as a lot more sensitive, philosophical and also a lot more spiritual (in between the lines and in different chapters) than I thought, and it's so beautiful to see the raw, sensitive and tender part of his person come through. He comes through so relatable and down to earth. This story is so human - with all its ups and downs. The book gives us a view behind the curtain of a life that some condemn for its fullness of riches. Yet it is so clearly a life ‘bred in captivity’, in a “gilded cage”, that shows money and riches are not equal to ‘real’ freedom (or love). There are squashing rules and painful consequences that come with their enjoyment. What if one is born into it and unable to chose? Now he has chosen. What courage. It was a gripping, and highly engaging story. The audiobook version that Prince Harry narrates himself, is so well read that it felt like you were experiencing the moments in real time, I couldn’t stop putting it down (or turning it off). The meaning and feeling of his words comes across, the heart of the story, in a powerful way when hearing his own words. I highly recommend the book and to read it yourself or listen to the audio version first. Before you see the atrocious and slanderous total dismantling of mere snippets of the pieces shared in the book. It is astonishing what the press has done right now with this book and its words for all to see. So much misconstrued excerpts - don’t be put off and read it yourself first. Then compare, then make up your own mind. The press has shown itself in its most poisonous light I have ever witnessed in these last few days of the publication of the book. With that, what irony that the mission of this book was successful! The main mission this book is to make us more aware of what the media is doing and how it is doing it. Most of us may already know this. But here we are right now witnessing it live - right in front of our eyes. Will we notice? Will we ‘spare’ the time to read it for ourselves, to really see? The story of the book, highlights that this could be any of us, you, me, not just any one from the royal family or someone who happens to fall out of the press' and media’s good graces or is scrutinised. (It reminds me of the book “Becoming” by Michelle Obama, where she describes a similar experience when becoming the First Lady.) For Prince Harry, it has been like this since birth. I really wanted to make sure to read it/hear it all first, before looking at the news, but noticed how hard it is at times. Things seeped through. Even friends and colleagues in my field (of psychology) made throw-away comments based on some terribly dangerous headlines (e.g. in relation to the Taliban, when he recounts his honest experiences in the Army). It was so clearly taken out of context, which you would notice if you had read it and gotten to that part 2 of the book already. A couple of words taken out of an entire account and then an emotive word slapped onto it to make title to change its entire meaning. We don’t have time – and are all so willing to take in just disjointed bits from the media every day. I could not believe the article published in the Guardian by journalist John Grace, only three days after the book’s publication, falsifying artistically the entire book for us. It doesn’t even mention that it is under the guise of satire, but claims at the beginning: “To busy to read it? All the love, rancour, drugs and petty fights are here.” What follows is a confusing write-up, looking like a compilation of excerpts taken straight from the book, but you don’t quite know which part is added by the journalist and is false – that is, unless you read it for yourself! Snippets taken from the book, something else slapped on to it at the end, that wasn’t even in the book. How on earth can the Guardian get away with this? Publishing something so incorrect and defamatory? But the damage has already been done for many I suspect, who as a result roll their eyes, and don’t want to read the book. But ironically, this is the whole point that the book is trying to share. And if you read these claims, you cannot ‘unread it’. It makes you think, it can poison you and anyone who reads it without noticing. Words have power. So here we are and have the most powerful evidence of what this book is actually about. The most ironic thing in itself is happening for us to see in bright daylight under our noses. The power of the media – and so much falseness and untruths which we read about every single day. The mainstream press and media, most of us even ‘trust’. This book is not just about Prince Harry or setting his record straight, or share stories of his family, though this is the tool of the book. It seems to be about something so much bigger than that. What is of course fascinating as part of the story and in this whole unfolding drama is that we can all resonate personally so much with the family dynamics and the family story in so many ways (no matter what backgrounds we come from). All the family archetypes - all the roles we play in our families and the roles we feel trapped in or are assigned to hold, are represented in this book. May it range from the ‘golden child’, ‘black sheep’, ‘baby brother’, ‘big brother’, ‘rival brother’,’longed for sister’, ‘wicked stepmother’, ‘loving mother’, ‘absent father’, ‘the newcomer’, ‘the wicked daughter-in-law’, or so many other classics. These archetypes all represent our collective experience of family. We may recognise all these roles here in the book represented in some form or other. And this can really connect us to the family story in general, through our own lived experiences. But most of us will find it extremely hard to ever exit our assigned roles, or our family itself, however troubled and dysfunctional it is. It must be a hundred times harder for a member of a royal family who is controlled by and locked into ‘the Institution’ by blood. Harry has attempted the unthinkable and unspeakable, and in front of everyone to see. Good for him - and also how embarrassing… for ‘the Institution’. This may be the true core ‘danger’ of the book - for the media and press as well as the ‘Institution’ and the monarchy. It is clear with this book they were not successful at silencing him enough. The day before the launch, Prince Harry aptly comments in the ITV interview with Tom Bradby that “silence only allows the abuser to continue to abuse”. He also said “peace can only happen where there is truth”. This is an apt explanation of the purpose of this book, and it comes across in every chapter. It is bigger than just the story about Prince Harry because the book raises so many questions (and esp. with this vicious media and press reaction): How can we possibly discern right from wrong? And what role, what power does the media play out in this? One thing is for sure, you don’t want to be on the bad side of them. Prince Harry is standing up, speaking out and speaking his truth, which most of us are not courageous and brave enough to do at this level. If you check each, his words in the book account and the current media messages, it is like witnessing a modern crucifixion. We are watching it and it raises even deeper questions like: Would I speak out like this? How has the power completely shifted to controlled media? What means “freedom” and freedom of speech? The book raises in fact many questions on deeper issues about privacy, freedom of speech, human rights, but also unwittingly and indirectly - but to no surprise may question the entire existence of the monarchy. Of the validity and usefulness of an antiquated, backwards “Institution” behind the Monarchy itself - far too powerful for its own family members. Is it really still necessary to exist in this day and age? Many current members would of course not want to see it dismantled and as a result lose their existence. The war on Harry and any dissidents has to happen by default (as we are witness to) - to ensure its own survival. And since there is the existing long standing enmeshed relationship between the media and the Institution (“in bed with the Devil”- comment from the ITV interview, but not so direct in the book), both depend on each other for their survival. The book describes how – some of it in the subtext and in between the lines, but it also becomes clear in the story. If “it” (the Institution) wants to survive, it raises also the question if it could not show us a better example, be more of a role model? It doesn’t have to be this way – one or the other can only exist. Esp. in matters of the heart, family, unity, truthfulness, rather than the outdated stuffy rules, and control driven dynamics based on power and not losing face or pride? (But this will probably never happen.) In this book, the evoking of the deeper questions is done skilfully through the story of the heart, Prince Harry’s own story of his experiences and words. As such through metaphor it is a powerful tool to reach us deeper, to shake us up, especially with laughter and humour along the way that makes the reading (or listening) gripping, enjoyable and deeply engaging. Prince Harry shows tremendous bravery and courage here and he could be applauded for daring this. And I can’t help but fear for him at the same time. This must be the toughest times of their lives right now, and I really wish them all the safety, love and protection they need around this time of transition - “post-book”. I really hope that with this book he is able to achieve what he is hoping for. For one, to make an in-road for all of us to hold world-wide and British Press and media, its coverage and its employees more accountable for the suffering they cause to so many people every day. Because of this it is a must read / or listen to. It seems clear on more than the obvious level, that he is Diana’s son. How incredibly proud she must be - that he managed to ‘get out’. Though it is a hard road. If feels as though he is continuing the work that his mother had started. She still lives in so many peoples’ hearts across the globe and was able to touch so many – and even so many decades after. And with Prince Harry in his own right as Harry, what he is actually daring to do here is shining his own light, not being ashamed to have a voice and speaking and owning his truth - and with that leading by example. Not to be silenced. But good grief, we can see here in the book and the after effects, what a mammoth and difficult task it is and it comes with so much pain and consequences for him. My heart goes out to him and Meghan. And any other family member, I feel so much compassion for them. At the state of everything in our world right now. But there is also so much gratitude, love, joy and light in this book, peppered with tender mischievous humour which was so uplifting and able to create space for hope. Hope for change.

Excellent book!

I bought this book on Audible yesterday, and have since purchased a Kindle copy and hard copy as well. It is INCREDIBLE! I am not a “Royal watcher” or lover of tabloids. My jam is listening to non-fiction books on Audible and devouring the classics in paperback. I am a book lover through and through! I pre-ordered my Audible version (no I don’t work for them!) and I was excited to see it was narrated by Harry. First of all, his narration is beautiful, truly perfection. The story, all of it, well nothing short of a well deserved standing ovation, and not at all what I was expecting based upon the headlines in my news feed. Was this the same book?! The media is clearly not reviewing this book in the same way as every other book and seem to be grasping for these gossipy bits and this “narrative” that I didn’t feel was a plot point. Truth be told, I have compassion and a human understanding for all of them, the entire family. It is a riveting story filled with adventure and tender, honest moments that are captured perfectly. Heartfelt, classy and unbelievably down-to-earth, a relatable human experience from a world that few could ever truly relate to. It was breathtaking and worthy of praise and applause. Harry, for his part, was brilliant.

Good

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