Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome: Going Over the Edge? - Practical Steps to Saving You and Your Relationship: Going over the Edge? ... Steps to Savings You and Your Relationship Paperback – 1 Mar. 2009

For me this book is brilliant. It saved me from myself and a path of depression, anxiety and distress; as well as increasing my knowledge about life with an Aspie. The relief to know I'm not alone is overwhelming; that my marriage is so typical of an AS/NT union; and that it's not all down to me! The information that Kathy shares is so spot on and tackles difficult subject matter- such as 'should I stay or should I go?' and if 'one' stays- how to live a fulfilling life with a partner who is so different to yourself. As a nurse all my working life I had long suspected that autism and Aspergers wasn't new in this generation of children; but it was a field of research that remains vastly unexplored for adults. Thank goodness Kathy is working in this area and has chosen to write about it. Just to read it in print has reassured me that even in my darkest moments I was on the right track and can now tap into support groups, albeit locally or online; and get the support I need to stay with my lovely man; who himself is trying so hard to work with me so we stay together however bumpy our ride becomes. In recommending this book I can only hope that more people choose to read it to make the future a better place for all involved parties.

I have read so many books on the behaviours of Aspergics, books for partners and children, books on the traits and how to deal with the behaviours and they nearly always read like a flat pack furniture manual, writen in a different language, without pictures!!!!!! If you want to make some sense of your life and have even a slight chance of getting back the you that you once were or just learn more about the family member you think you know, then this book is invaluable!!!! It's well worth every penny and then some. It made me laugh and cry and helped me more than words can describe. it also went some way to helping other people in our family understand what I was trying to deal with on a daily basis. it validates your feelings and gives practical advice on how to change things for you. You won't regret buying this book!!!!!!

This was a very informative book and helpful to anyone considering entering marriage with someone on the Autistic Spectrum. I was left in no doubt as to the consequences of marriage to a person with autism. However, it must be treated with care because it dwells on the serious end of the difficulties and could deter someone from what might possibly be a very happy relationship with someone with fewer or lesser traits.

A marvellously written book for anyone who, like me, has been struggling to understand the bizarre behaviour of their spouse. If only I could have read it forty years ago! It is just like reading about my own experience!

The most pessimistic and revolting overview of the spectrum. “If you are in a happy relationship with someone with ASD, count your blessings.” So many negative examples, no resolutions and virtually a piece of advice to stay away from anyone on the spectrum.Huge disappointment that a stigmatising book like this would get published.

I read this book so quickly as it all was so relevant. It definitely brought me a light bulb moment. I recre read and hi lighted all the bits relevant to me . I’m getting a clean copy for my aspire partner

OK. I'm an academic in the area so perhaps expected too much.

Interesting read. I can relate to most of it. So good to know someone understands what you've been through.

"As an aspie I can admire the honesty and integrity of this book" This quote is taken from an Amazon.com review by someone on the spectrum and I would echo this comment entirely. I would also say that I admire the Asperger's person in its fairness for feeling criticized by others is an Asperger's trait. This book is enlightening insofar as written by an NT psychologist relating actual traits in a marriage to an Asperger's person. In that regard it is very helpful for an NT person to read, yes, I can relate to this, no, I can't relate to that. It is not pejorative in any way of the Asperger's Syndrome person but rather in explaining certain traits, it gives the NT person tools by which to work within in how they respond, how they may understand the Asperger's mind. Although Karen Rodman is mentioned once in this book in regard to the fact that there is not much written about the adult with Aspergers, Ms. Rodman started the site FAAAS, which is devoted entirely to Families living with Adults with Aspergers. Although this site is under construction at the moment, it has been very helpful as has Dr. Marshack's book in helping NT's learn, cope and support their Asperger's partners. I would recommend this book.Sandra Small Proudfoot

provided insights especially for the partners of those on the spectrum

I've read most, if not all of the books for partners of people with Aspergers and this book I would rate as one of the best. It is written with so much heart, caring, gentleness and kindness which are usually things that the partner of an Aspie is in desperate need of - there is a real nurturing vibe to this book. Unlike some of the other books it does not go into the diagnostic criteria and traits of Aspergers in detail, but insight is given into the traits through case histories and stories in the book. Also, this book more than any other goes deeply into the impact on mental health that living with an Aspie can have on a partner. I found this extremely helpful and validating especially at the stage of my relationship that I was at when I read the book. The book guides you through how to "pick up the pieces" of your shattered being and start to reclaim who you are, so that you can become strong in yourself again and have the best chance of making a success of your relationship. I believe there is a great deal of personal growth to be gained through having an Aspie partner and this book can help you to grow as a person from the relationship. Kathy also takes you through the issue of separation and divorce and gives vital information on how to manage those situations. The advice is extremely practical, making this book so useful - it is not just a whole lot of theory and information that turns out to be impossible to apply in your situation - it is very relevant and useable. If you have an Aspie partner, this book is essential reading and may even save your sanity, literally. Kathy Marshack is an angel!

Excellent read for a spouse of a high functiong husband on the spectrum. Allows me to understand why we have more challenges than other couples and this understanding shows me the unintentional roadblocks that I often face in my marriage.

Firstly. I am a NT female married to AS male. 27 years. I knew immediately his problems were complex but the road to AS discovery is like blindly driving down a road. I cannot tell you how many books I have read or who the authors were, because when your dealing with AS on a daily basis the last thing you prioritize is a "duly noted" recognition. Dr. Marshack's book is something you will want to keep and refer back too. If your a beginner dealing with AS, or if your seasoned and still sane, this book is a bible. You will find insight when you read it whole and even more insight days or weeks later. I have referred back many times to establish a grounded feeling that I desperately need. The validation is there and it's enjoyable reading a passage that you feel like you wrote yourself, however, there are "cubby holes" throughout the book that will give you clarity at any given time and that's why it's important to hang onto this book. As a seasoned AS spouse, when you think you have it figured out, the rules change and your left feeling like you were off mark. This book is not to help the AS person first, this book helps the caregiver, which acts as a catalyst to the AS person. Dr. Marshack shows that understanding of the disorder is key and the effects AS has on the caregiver can be alarming. I know many people want a quick fix, with step by step instructions, but to me that is the same as saying "I want real advice on how to make my quadriplegic spouse walk better." AS is permanent, but beating a dead horse just wears you out. On another note: I have an aggressive AS spouse, so I believe this book helps me even more. Our son (now grown) has AS but he has more passive traits. He is much easier to help with less rigidness.