Beyond Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World
Product ID: 52342900
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Beyond Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World [McGraw, Phil] on desertcart.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Beyond Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World Review: Important Book NOT Covered by Existing Literature. - I will provide a summary or abstract of "Life Code" so you can judge for yourself whether you wish to purchase this book. The first half of the book is designed to allow the reader to identify sociopaths that have the potential to damage your life to varying degrees depending on the extent of the pathology. Dr. Phil defines sociopathic behavior by the term BAITERS which stands for Backstabbers, Abusers, Imposters, Takers, Exploiters, and Reckless persons. There are eight identifiers or "Evil Eight" signs of a sociopath. 1. They see the world through a lens of arrogant entitlement and frequently treat people as targets. 2. They lack empathy (, i.e. see how they react to a story of an abused animal). 3. They are incapable of feeling remorse/guilt and don't learn from situation to situation. 4. They are irresponsible, self-destructive, and disregard the well-being of others. 5. They thrive on drama and crisis. 6. They brag about outsmarting other people. 7. They have a pattern of short-term relationships. 8. They live in a fantasy world marked by delusion. BAITERS will used 15 tactics called the "Nefarious 15" to exploit their victims. 1. They infiltrate your life, seducing with promises and flattery. 2. They define you as a conspiratorial confidant. 3. They are way too focused on getting your approval - as though their very existence depends on your accepting them. 4. They are always gathering data and "building a file" on you. Everything they do, every interaction, is for a purpose. 5. They consistently misdirect and maintain a mystery about who they really are; they answer questions that weren't asked; they obfuscate. 6. When confronted with problems, they always blame others. 7. They lie, either by misstatement or by omission; they understand that lies with a kernel of truth are the most powerful. 8. They are frauds; they cheat, and they steal property, information, and credit for other people's work and claim false competencies to gain trust and reliance. 9. They isolate their victims and foster dependency to obligate you and gain leverage and power. 10. When in a position of power and authority, they abuse it with self-dealing and egomaniacal conduct. 11. They ID your sensitivities and hot buttons to gain leverage. 12. They have "selective memory" and are revisionist historians; they reframe reality. 13. They are two-faced; they spread lies and gossip - pretending to be your friend and ally to give you a false sense of security (and loyalty) while being disloyal. 14. Because they are paranoid, they "get you" before you "get them." 15. They are masters of passive-aggressive sabotage. Dr. Phil suggests inoculating oneself from a BAITER by self identifying your own negative traits so they can't be used to ambush you by a BAITER. However, you should also identify your positive attributes. If you play the "what if" game with yourself where you are afraid to act due to your imagination then you must play the game to the logical conclusion which usually is not nearly as bad as your initial fear. You must have realistic expectations of yourself and of others by verifying their stories, e.g. check references. Finally, you must set goals, timelines and objectives to meet to get the things you want in life. In the second half of the book, Dr. Phil recommends adopting 16 tactics to be successful based on observations of successful person's behaviors. 1. You must have a defined "image" and never go out of character. 2. You must create a perception of uniqueness. 3. You must play "big," not just long. 4. Learn to claim and accept praise, and acknowledge it in a gracious way, but do accept it. 5. You must become "essential." 6. You must know your real currency. 7. You must always, always have a plan (and preferably a backup play). 8. You must keep things "close to the vest" (e.g. don't tell others what you are thinking or planning). 9. You must always be in investigatory mode. 10. You must "stretch" and behave your way to success, even if it feels like "fake it until you make it." 11. You must always keep your options open. 12. You must always master the system and figure a way to make it work for you. 13. You must create a passionate nucleus of supporters. 14. You must deal only with the truth. 15. You must recognize and use the ego and greed of others to create a path to success. 16. You must pick your battles and never let your opponent have control. The final relevant chapter is a discourse on successful negotiation strategies because it is absolutely required for you to negotiate to be successful. 1. When I enter a negotiation, I always try to "out-fair" the other side. 2. I always look first at what they want. 3. I always do my homework before I start negotiating. 4. Know your boundaries and limits (e.g. know your BATNA or Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement from the book "Getting to Yes" where it is better not to make a deal than to take what is offered. See Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In ) 5. Understand people's "currency." Obviously, I recommend reading the book "Life Code" in its entirety to understand, be able to identify, and apply the techniques by Dr. Phil. Personally, I think "Life Code" is an important contribution to the self-help field of books which was sorely lacking tools to identify sociopaths and I recommend your purchase of the book. Postscript: I recommend the reader to also consider the book "Nasty People" by Jay Carter because Carter provides advice to actually deal with sociopaths which is beyond the scope of Life Code. Nasty People: How to Stop Being Hurt by Them without Stooping to Their Level I also recommend "Detect Deceit" by Dr. David Craig to detect lies. Detect Deceit: How to Become a Human Lie Detector in Under 60 Minutes I would also recommend "The Sociopath Next Door" bye Martha Stout, Ph.D. Martha does a more through examination of sociopath behavior, provides tactics for dealing with sociopaths, and has cases illustrating the typical sociopath behavior. Review: Major Help in Tough Times - I stumbled across this book by accident - I randomly saw a TV interview of Dr. Phil several months ago and he was discussing the book. This was fortuitous for me. It is the first Dr. Phil book that I have read and I do not watch his TV show. I am 63, a lawyer, thought I knew quite a bit about people, went through a real eye opening and unfortunately very painful experience with someone who was very dear to me, and finding and reading this book was a major help in my getting through it. I just had gone through a horrific breakup with this person in a LTR under what only can be described as bewildering circumstances (and I won't describe them), and Life Codes helped me understand in some measure what had been going on (I had a toxic person in my life, a real Baiter, emphasis on the t and e, maybe also r, for those who know what those letters stand for). It helped me understand the dangers of giving the benefit of the doubt to someone when your gut tells you otherwise (what we can deny and talk ourselves into overlooking is astonishing), how that can be a serious self defense vulnerability, and how important recognizing that is. This is a major theme of the book. I picked up the book hoping that the just former "love of my life" wouldn't appear there, and sadly, her psyche jumped off of the pages in many ways and at many places. Identifying what had happened, to the extent one could, was immensely helpful to me, as otherwise I would not have had any chance at understanding what had taken place. That being said, popular psychology in a relatively short book written for a broad public audience perhaps has its limits, and a fair critique of the book is that it may to a certain extent lack nuance and the second half of the book may be a little bit harsh in its judgments. But for me, reading this book was the right thing at the right time, absolutely. And, the lessons learned from the book (how to identify the toxic people in your life, if you are unlucky to have one or more, and what their characteristics may be, and how to deal with them) is a vital one for me, and the lessons learned I very much hope stick to the wall. It already has helped me with another situation (identifying an abuser), and rationalizes what our guts may be telling us and warns us about what the vulnerabilities of well meaning people may be. It is sobering. I thought I was pretty sophisticated when it came to assessing what was going on around me, and the lessons that I learned (and the help that I got from reading the book) is that human interaction is incredibly complicated, way more than I thought was the case, things often are not as they appear, and it will make me less of a deer in the headlights in the future, I hope. Even with my critique concerning nuance and harsh judgments, at least for me, this one is a "5 star" all the way. Thanks Dr. Phil, loads.
| Best Sellers Rank | #6,051,611 in Books ( See Top 100 in Books ) #888 in Success Self-Help |
| Customer Reviews | 4.4 4.4 out of 5 stars (4,407) |
| Dimensions | 5.33 x 0.51 x 7.44 inches |
| ISBN-10 | 1939457998 |
| ISBN-13 | 978-1939457998 |
| Item Weight | 2.56 ounces |
| Language | English |
| Print length | 244 pages |
| Publication date | February 12, 2013 |
| Publisher | Ghost Mountain Books |
| Reading age | 18 years and up |
J**R
Important Book NOT Covered by Existing Literature.
I will provide a summary or abstract of "Life Code" so you can judge for yourself whether you wish to purchase this book. The first half of the book is designed to allow the reader to identify sociopaths that have the potential to damage your life to varying degrees depending on the extent of the pathology. Dr. Phil defines sociopathic behavior by the term BAITERS which stands for Backstabbers, Abusers, Imposters, Takers, Exploiters, and Reckless persons. There are eight identifiers or "Evil Eight" signs of a sociopath. 1. They see the world through a lens of arrogant entitlement and frequently treat people as targets. 2. They lack empathy (, i.e. see how they react to a story of an abused animal). 3. They are incapable of feeling remorse/guilt and don't learn from situation to situation. 4. They are irresponsible, self-destructive, and disregard the well-being of others. 5. They thrive on drama and crisis. 6. They brag about outsmarting other people. 7. They have a pattern of short-term relationships. 8. They live in a fantasy world marked by delusion. BAITERS will used 15 tactics called the "Nefarious 15" to exploit their victims. 1. They infiltrate your life, seducing with promises and flattery. 2. They define you as a conspiratorial confidant. 3. They are way too focused on getting your approval - as though their very existence depends on your accepting them. 4. They are always gathering data and "building a file" on you. Everything they do, every interaction, is for a purpose. 5. They consistently misdirect and maintain a mystery about who they really are; they answer questions that weren't asked; they obfuscate. 6. When confronted with problems, they always blame others. 7. They lie, either by misstatement or by omission; they understand that lies with a kernel of truth are the most powerful. 8. They are frauds; they cheat, and they steal property, information, and credit for other people's work and claim false competencies to gain trust and reliance. 9. They isolate their victims and foster dependency to obligate you and gain leverage and power. 10. When in a position of power and authority, they abuse it with self-dealing and egomaniacal conduct. 11. They ID your sensitivities and hot buttons to gain leverage. 12. They have "selective memory" and are revisionist historians; they reframe reality. 13. They are two-faced; they spread lies and gossip - pretending to be your friend and ally to give you a false sense of security (and loyalty) while being disloyal. 14. Because they are paranoid, they "get you" before you "get them." 15. They are masters of passive-aggressive sabotage. Dr. Phil suggests inoculating oneself from a BAITER by self identifying your own negative traits so they can't be used to ambush you by a BAITER. However, you should also identify your positive attributes. If you play the "what if" game with yourself where you are afraid to act due to your imagination then you must play the game to the logical conclusion which usually is not nearly as bad as your initial fear. You must have realistic expectations of yourself and of others by verifying their stories, e.g. check references. Finally, you must set goals, timelines and objectives to meet to get the things you want in life. In the second half of the book, Dr. Phil recommends adopting 16 tactics to be successful based on observations of successful person's behaviors. 1. You must have a defined "image" and never go out of character. 2. You must create a perception of uniqueness. 3. You must play "big," not just long. 4. Learn to claim and accept praise, and acknowledge it in a gracious way, but do accept it. 5. You must become "essential." 6. You must know your real currency. 7. You must always, always have a plan (and preferably a backup play). 8. You must keep things "close to the vest" (e.g. don't tell others what you are thinking or planning). 9. You must always be in investigatory mode. 10. You must "stretch" and behave your way to success, even if it feels like "fake it until you make it." 11. You must always keep your options open. 12. You must always master the system and figure a way to make it work for you. 13. You must create a passionate nucleus of supporters. 14. You must deal only with the truth. 15. You must recognize and use the ego and greed of others to create a path to success. 16. You must pick your battles and never let your opponent have control. The final relevant chapter is a discourse on successful negotiation strategies because it is absolutely required for you to negotiate to be successful. 1. When I enter a negotiation, I always try to "out-fair" the other side. 2. I always look first at what they want. 3. I always do my homework before I start negotiating. 4. Know your boundaries and limits (e.g. know your BATNA or Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement from the book "Getting to Yes" where it is better not to make a deal than to take what is offered. See Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In ) 5. Understand people's "currency." Obviously, I recommend reading the book "Life Code" in its entirety to understand, be able to identify, and apply the techniques by Dr. Phil. Personally, I think "Life Code" is an important contribution to the self-help field of books which was sorely lacking tools to identify sociopaths and I recommend your purchase of the book. Postscript: I recommend the reader to also consider the book "Nasty People" by Jay Carter because Carter provides advice to actually deal with sociopaths which is beyond the scope of Life Code. Nasty People: How to Stop Being Hurt by Them without Stooping to Their Level I also recommend "Detect Deceit" by Dr. David Craig to detect lies. Detect Deceit: How to Become a Human Lie Detector in Under 60 Minutes I would also recommend "The Sociopath Next Door" bye Martha Stout, Ph.D. Martha does a more through examination of sociopath behavior, provides tactics for dealing with sociopaths, and has cases illustrating the typical sociopath behavior.
S**T
Major Help in Tough Times
I stumbled across this book by accident - I randomly saw a TV interview of Dr. Phil several months ago and he was discussing the book. This was fortuitous for me. It is the first Dr. Phil book that I have read and I do not watch his TV show. I am 63, a lawyer, thought I knew quite a bit about people, went through a real eye opening and unfortunately very painful experience with someone who was very dear to me, and finding and reading this book was a major help in my getting through it. I just had gone through a horrific breakup with this person in a LTR under what only can be described as bewildering circumstances (and I won't describe them), and Life Codes helped me understand in some measure what had been going on (I had a toxic person in my life, a real Baiter, emphasis on the t and e, maybe also r, for those who know what those letters stand for). It helped me understand the dangers of giving the benefit of the doubt to someone when your gut tells you otherwise (what we can deny and talk ourselves into overlooking is astonishing), how that can be a serious self defense vulnerability, and how important recognizing that is. This is a major theme of the book. I picked up the book hoping that the just former "love of my life" wouldn't appear there, and sadly, her psyche jumped off of the pages in many ways and at many places. Identifying what had happened, to the extent one could, was immensely helpful to me, as otherwise I would not have had any chance at understanding what had taken place. That being said, popular psychology in a relatively short book written for a broad public audience perhaps has its limits, and a fair critique of the book is that it may to a certain extent lack nuance and the second half of the book may be a little bit harsh in its judgments. But for me, reading this book was the right thing at the right time, absolutely. And, the lessons learned from the book (how to identify the toxic people in your life, if you are unlucky to have one or more, and what their characteristics may be, and how to deal with them) is a vital one for me, and the lessons learned I very much hope stick to the wall. It already has helped me with another situation (identifying an abuser), and rationalizes what our guts may be telling us and warns us about what the vulnerabilities of well meaning people may be. It is sobering. I thought I was pretty sophisticated when it came to assessing what was going on around me, and the lessons that I learned (and the help that I got from reading the book) is that human interaction is incredibly complicated, way more than I thought was the case, things often are not as they appear, and it will make me less of a deer in the headlights in the future, I hope. Even with my critique concerning nuance and harsh judgments, at least for me, this one is a "5 star" all the way. Thanks Dr. Phil, loads.
M**R
Fast shipment Great book - worth reading. Well written with valuable information as well as effecetive (and humorous) exampes to support his ideas and "lessons".
J**.
I purchased a copy for a client who has been exploited by others his entire life. We went through the book together prior to his leaving counselling. He refers to it on a regular basis as a resource guide and reminder tonever forget to question those who do not have his best interests at heart. Its great for learning how to instil healthy personal boundaries and a great guide for those who have ever been used, manipulated or exploited by those who break all of the rules. Learn the warning signs, red flags and how to protect yourself.
H**.
Si vous pensez acheter le DVD du livre... non, pas du tout. Si vous pensez acheter le complément du livre ou son support visuel au moins, ou... je ne sais pas, quelque chose d'utile... non plus. Le truc dure 45 minutes max, et se résume en fait à ... 45 minutes de promotion pour acheter le livre. Tout est évoqué, rien n'est expliqué, rien n'est montré. Je n'ai, à ce jour, toujours pas compris le concept de ce DVD.. ( et d'après les commentaires sur amazone Us, je ne suis pas la seule :p ). Le livre est top, ce dvd est ... superflu...
A**A
Once he was good. Keeping himself to what he was good at. Getting older he seems to have lost his sense for reason and not longer beeing able to recognize those narcisstic persons he helped us be aware of.
M**S
Really helps you see life as it is. Sometimes you know that not all of us are the same, and not all of us think the same way. But you put those thoughts aside and you think 'well, we are all people'. But the truth is there are people who think differently to you, and would do anything within their means to get what they want. This book enables you to identify what those character traits are, and how you could utilize them in your own life. But also how to stay away from those who utilize them in the wrong way.
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