Friendaholic: THE NUMBER ONE SUNDAY TIMES BEST SELLER

Very well written, laughed out loud a few times from the relatable quotes

Is this the most cathartic book I’ve ever read? Based on the number of times I had to pause because of the tears streaming from my eyes, I think it must be. I bought this knowing Elizabeth Day from her podcasts—How to Fail and Best Friend Therapy, co-hosted with her best friend Emma Reed Turrell—and thought this would be a bright, breezy, insightful, witty and uplifting book that would leave me with a smile on my face, but probably wouldn’t register very highly on the Richter scale of Important Works of Psychology. Wow, was I wrong. Day rightly points out that friendship as a subject has, for far too long, been treated as a Cinderella subject compared to romantic and even family relationships. Dealing with narcissistic lovers or recalcitrant teenagers has been deemed proper subject matter for academic psychologists and therapists for decades; how to cope with the potential ending of a friendship has, by comparison, been seen as rather trivial, just one of those things in life that we are supposed to navigate without guidance. Well, Day sets about redressing this imbalance with a vengeance, interspersing powerful and insightful chapters on various aspects of friendship—personified by her relationships with particular individuals—with short passages written by a variety of interesting, and often marginalised, people. Over the course of the book, she examines topics such as the effect that the pandemic had on our friendships, why we make friends, friendships between people of very different ages, ghosting, platonic friendships between people of different genders, ‘friendship CVs’, the importance of clarity, frenemies, fertility (this chapter is a truly important piece of work in itself), the effect of big life changes and serious illness, friendship and social media, defining ‘best’ friendships and, perhaps the most unspoken subject, the grief at losing a friend. That gives you some idea of the sheer breadth of subject matter Day covers in the book, but it cannot convey the astonishing depth and insight of her writing, the sheer beauty of her prose, the elegance with which she expresses her passion for the subject. Nor does it reveal her astonishing, self-effacing honesty about her own shortcomings, past and present, in dealing with her relationships. The title of the book is not, as it turns out, some clever publisher’s gimmick; rather, it’s a bald confession of Day’s own recovery from codependency, in which her own self-worth was defined by the opinions of others. And this is why, for me, the book has been so cathartic, and has delivered repeated punch-in-the-guts moments. I’m quite sure that i’m not the only one who has felt the discomfort of self-recognition in its pages, and it’s Day’s skill at delivering those moments of necessary disquiet that make this book feel as though it were written personally for each one of us, like a secret, shared journal in whose pages all our social inadequacies and fears are laid out and then examined with love and compassion, all the pent-up poison extracted and a soothing salve applied. Everyone should read this book. Seriously. I can’t think of a better guide to opening up the discussion of all those relationships that, after all, massively outnumber our romantic and, for most of us, family connections. If you’re young, you’ll learn a lot about plotting a steady path in your future friendships. If, like me, you’re older, it will help you to unravel much of the confusion, frustration and, yes, grief you may have been carrying on your shoulders for far too long. In summary, you’ll end up wanting to be Elizabeth’s friend, but also being okay with the fact that that’s not going to happen. Rarely have I felt so much goodwill towards someone I’m unlikely to ever meet. An extraordinary book. Buy it.

Lost interest in the book pretty quickly. Just couldn’t get into the material.

This book is a refreshing and honest exploration of the complexities of friendship. The author's candid storytelling is both relatable and inspiring. It's like having a heart-to-heart with a good friend about the joys, challenges, and everything in between. Whether you're a self-proclaimed "friendship addict" or simply looking to deepen your connections, this book offers valuable insights and practical advice. A must-read for anyone who cherishes friendships.

I love everything Elizabeth Day! This book gave me a lot of hope following a very difficult year (one of my best friends died and another ghosted me). It was so helpful in fact, that I made pencil notes in the margins and highlighted lines/paragraphs. I highly recommend not only this book but also Elizabeth’s podcasts Best Friend Therapy and How To Fail. Thank you for another beautifully written book.