Free to Learn: Why Unleashing the Instinct to Play Will Make Our Children Happier, More Self-Reliant, and Better Students for Life Hardcover – March 5, 2013

If you are a parent, about to become a parent, or even a parent of a teenager, this book is a must read. I have reading and researching a lot about play, and I have been working with children of all ages for more than 10 years, and now that I have my own kids I have become increasingly preoccupied with what exactly contributes to a child's independence, sense of self and sense of control over his own destiny. It finally makes sense now why my 6 year old cries, every day, on the way from his 5k public school, and tells me, in frustration "mom, but I didn't get to PLAY today". After reading this book I now understand why:... "my child goes to school to socialize with other children" is the biggest lie we parents have been told. In school, children are strictly supervised, and their actions are dictated at every second of every day. They are not free, nor will they be until we accept their innate desire to be in the company of peers and be able to take control over their actions, their games, their own destiny. I struggled, for a long time, to understand that giving children freedom to play is NOT THE SAME as raising undisciplined, misbehaving children. Actually, quite the opposite, and this book explains why. I can be a good parent, set limits to my children, enforce consequences for disobedience, BUT at the same time offer my children the freedom to play outside, get their hands dirty, invent games, let them carry out those game, let them negotiate changes in the rules of the games etc. That said, please don't imagine that this book is simply advice on "..oh, you know, letting kids play is good for them because I say so...."; no, the author did the most comprehensive research review analysis I have ever read. He explains, from anthropological, evolutionary, and psychological points of view, why giving children the reins over their games sets them up to be kinder adults, with a deeper understanding of what other are feeling, and with a deep sense of owning their destiny, all of which contribute to a reduction in depression as adults. If you want to understand why more adults are anxious, selfish, unable to relate to others, willing to step on others to reach the top without any considerations for peers, read this book. If you want a glimpse into why the current public education system is inefficient at TEACHING, read this book. If you are thinking, the way I was before reading this book, that public school is the best way for children to interact with other children, think critically and learn to be creative, read this book- you will find out that that's not the case....I also now finally understand why, in a few short weeks since kindergarten started, my son has become increasingly selfish, refusing to clean up anything other than his own toys, whereas before, he would gladly help his little sister with her "part of the mess". Now, after consistently being told in the classroom to keep his hands to himself, worry "about yourself", "do YOUR work" (the reason I know this is because I worked in a classroom), he is self centered to a degree I have not seen in him before. This selfishness will eventually be the reason why we are pulling him out of system...Anyway, another story for another time.Now I accept my past decision (for which family and friends have criticized plenty), of allowing my kids and their playmates to roam our yard, get the toys they want, mix water with dirt IF THEY CHOOSE TO, gather sticks to build a "fort" and all the other fun stuff they like to do (of course all this stopped with kindergarten) without intervening. I had plenty friends looking at me sideways ; You don't go outside with them to watch what they're doing??? OH the audacity!This may have been the longest review I have ever written, so I will try to conclude by saying that if you want to find out how children learn, you have to read this book. Hint: it has nothing to do with sitting at table and tracing letters. Plenty of social and psychological studies across multiple countries and across time serve as a solid backbone for what the author is presenting. Also: I still have a hard time accepting and applying the Sudbury Valley school model that the author describes. I need to do some research before being OK with it. But tha's fine. It's always nice to learn other points of view. Are you still reading this? I hope that by now you have clicked the "BUY" button. No? do it now

Peter Gray's book Free to Learn is an excellent addition to the genre of books on restoring freedom in education. Gray clearly states:"Children are biologically predisposed to take charge of their own education. When they are provided with the freedom and means to pursue their own interests, in safe settings, they bloom and develop along diverse and unpredictable paths, and they acquire the skills and confidence required to meet life's challenges. In such an environment, children ask for any help they may need from adults. There is no need for forced lessons, lectures, assignments, tests, grades, segregation by age into classrooms, or any of the other trappings of our standard, compulsory system of schooling. All of these, in fact, interfere with the children's natural way of learning."So why did we create schools that so directly "interfere with the children's natural way of learning"? Gray shows that in tribal cultures the focus of childhood was playing and learning knowledge, skills, and how to live self-sufficiently and honorably. When the agrarian revolution increased the need for child labor on farms, the values of school turned to toil, competition and status. While Gray's view of this is perhaps a bit idyllic, the reality is that modern schools are less concerned with student knowledge, skills, honor or abilities than with the universal goal of job training.Certainly job training has an important place in advanced society, but Gray is focused on the education of children, and in fact the toll on children in our modern job-obsessed schools is very high. They are way more stressed than earlier generations of children and youth.Why are we raising a generation of children and youth who are stressed, not secure? Gray's answer, based on a great deal of research which he outlines in the book, is that we have turned learning into a chore, a task, a labor, rather than the natural result of curiosity, interest, passion to learn, and self-driven seeking of knowledge and skills. In short, we've taken too much play out of childhood and too much freedom out of learning.The results are a major decline of American education in the last four decades. The solution is to put freedom back into education.Interestingly, Gray suggests that in many of the educational studies of classrooms, schools, homes and teachers that have found a way to successfully overcome these problems and achieve much better educational results, one of the key ingredients is "free age-mixing." Where students are allowed to freely mix with other students of various ages, without grade levels, the capacity of individuals to effectively self-educate is much higher. As for the impact on college and career success, students from free educational models excel.This is a good book, and a must read for those who really care about education. I don't agree with everything the author teaches, but I learned something important on almost every page. Whether or not you read Free to Learn, all of us who have children or work in education need to do more to promote the importance of increased freedom in education. Gray is a particular fan of "unschooling," a type of homeschooling and private schooling where parents and teachers set an example of great education, create an environment of excellent learning, and let the kids become self-learners. While this may not be the ideal learning style for every student, it is the best model for a lot of them--and for nearly every young person under age 12.If you disagree with this conclusion, you simply must read the book. The research is impeccable. If you do agree, the book can help you get to work setting a better example for any students in your life.