Positive Discipline: The Classic Guide to Helping Children Develop Self-Discipline, Responsibility, Cooperation, and Problem-Solving Skills

I got this as a required textbook for my child development class and I absolutely loved it. It was an effortless read that left my hi lighter(s) completely dried out from overuse. It is probably one of my favorite non-fiction books, and it's one I still reference with frequency and have even moved cross country with! I have used the methods described in this book in my professional life and have seen tremendous success *especially with special needs children!!!* It addresses many of the behavioral issues that we (adults and caregivers) are prone to attribute to a child's personality (think "he's a bad kid") or even personal jabs (think "why does my child hate me so much that they would do these things to me?). The book takes an in-depth look at not only why a child is behaving a certain way, but also how to address the child's (understandably) poorly articulated needs which are the crux of behavioral issues. Because of the education it gives on about a child's emotional needs, it offers the reader unique insight that allows them to increase the quality of interactions with children outside of discipline. This holistic approach is why it is incredibly effective. The difference this guide makes would be equivalent to addressing seasickness by simply getting off the boat instead of trying to quell the nausea with moderately helpful off-brand Tums.

I have read many parenting books, always trying to stay one step ahead of my monkeys! Most of the books had a few good ideas, but while full of great philosophies, were basically useless in real-time. This book, and the ideas and methods behind Positive Discipline, are totally usable. That's my favorite thing about it. The ideas and psychology in the book have completely changed my outlook on parenting, and the way I view my relationship with my kids. The application of said ideas is simple and do-able. Most every idea has been very easily incorporated into our lives. Initially it was more work to use positive discipline in our home, but as I have really applied the principles, I have seen a change in my kids for the (much) better! We are closer than we have ever been. They are more willing to listen when I talk. We are working together to learn and find solutions to our problems. I get the sense that they feel more validated. Being a parent is so much easier, without all the yelling and spanking and bribing, and... Everything around our home feels more positive and respectful, and I owe it all to "Positive Discipline"! I would recommend this book to anyone with children, who is a chronic "yeller," hates doing that, and wants change but doesn't believe it can happen. And to anyone who wants a better, closer, more positive relationship with their little kiddos.

This book is packed with parenting knowledge backed up with researches and studies. It digs deep into the reasons why children are 'misbehaving' and provides the related solutions. This book provides very thorough knowledge and suggestions. I high recommend this book!

I have only partially read 'Positive Discipline' and it certainlycontains most beneficial information. I have purchased both this publication and STEP for my daughters-in-law. I feel 'STEP', with the illustrations and general easy to read and reference, will be more beneficial for a busy mum and dad. Thanks for the opportunity to express my opinion. Dorothy Porter

This is an instance where it is worth the money to pay for a new copy of the latest edition. As Jane herself has evolved and grown in understanding (the whole point of Positive Discipline, for parents and children both), so has the book. The first part of the newest edition spends a good amount of time reflecting back on the beginning in a very helpful way! The most popular review of this book on Amazon seriously lacks understanding of what PD actually is. It is NOT just “talking to your kids about their feelings”. While emotional health is extremely important, and gaining skills in talking about and understanding feelings and how to respond to them (your own and others), a true Positive Discipline response does not stop there. PD is solutions based parenting rather than punishment based, that is all. So the first approach to, say, a child not performing a family task required of them (cleaning their room, say) would be—waiting until AFTER all members of the family are calm and rational—A. Validate/understand why they are choosing not to do it, B. State choices within the boundary of getting the task done, then C. If that fails, moving on to a conversation between parent and child, thinking of a solution and agreement that you then HOLD THE CHILD TO until the task is completed, regularly and on time. Being able to say “what was our agreement?” Is not only much more likely to encourage cooperation than lecturing and yellling is (the child herself came up with the rules alongside you!), but it empowers children to understand their own power, ability and responsibilities, giving them that vital sense of purpose and belonging in the family. If this basic description of how PD works appeals to you, by ALL means buy and read and share this book! I can pretty much promise that actual application of PD will not result in a young person that loses their part-time job because the boss doesn’t care about their “feelings”. 😂

My wife wanted me to read this book that she heard about from a friend of hers. It sounded like a good concept from the title, but I was still in the mindset of giving punishments to try changing behavior. When reading the book, a lot of it made sense and some of it didn't. I disagreed and even objected when I first read about the "cooling off" period because of the way it was presented compared to my past experience being on the other end in a similar situation. This made more sense later as I continued reading though, and it is the way that it is done that matters. Since starting to read this book, I have been trying to apply principles that I have learned from it as I see opportunities, and I have seen more positive results from its concepts than my previous practices. I got more out of the book than just helpful information on how to raise children. I believe a lot of these concepts can and should be applied in many areas of life with friends and co-workers as well. My final thoughts are that I believe all current parents, parents-to-be, teachers, and even managers should read this book to help others be their best. It is a complete 180 from the way it seems that most children are raised, but is ultimately what each of us were likely striving for through giving punishments. What we are striving for is that we want our children to grow up properly, feeling loved and to have success in all areas of life. That is what this book sets out to achieve, and although we all make mistakes and hopefully learn from them, I believe if everyone constantly tried applying these techniques in their daily lives, it truly would make our world a better place.

I imagine the ppl that gave this book low reviews may have disliked the way it starts: recognizing that children with behavioral problems usually means the parents have some things they need to work on first! The theme of this book is "be kind and firm" (at the same time) and the concept that perhaps your most important skill as a parent is to " learn how to be encouraging." We have four teenagers and I want to testify gnat THESE METHODS WORK! But it is not easy at first. Be patient with yourself. Takes some fine tuning! I didn't use all of the things she goes over (we rarely do "family meetings" and many other little suggestions. But this book is incredible and I have seen big changes in my kids, and it started with me

This has probably been the most helpful parenting book I've read--and I've read many! It teaches the same principles of Love and Logic, but is more specific about how to apply the principles. It works on the concept of natural consequences instead of time outs and punishments. My favorite thing about this method of parenting is that I felt like it is actually helping our children learn to be responsible adults. We are creating the same situatoins they will encounter as they leave home and function in the world. They are gaining confidence by making decisions on their own. They are using self-discipline to do their chores, instead of being ordered to do everything. This book teaches us how to raise responsible, respectful, confident and most importantly, happy children! We have seen a huge difference in the way our daughters (7&9) behave. After setting boundaries and being consistant with consequences, parenting has become much less labor-intensive. The kids are starting to keep themselves in line! Overall, we have seen an increase in obedience, respect and harmony in our family. This book was recommended by all the counselors we know, and we highly recommend it too!