HOMESTEADING in the CALM EYE of the STORM: A Therapist Navigates His Complex PTSD

I picked up this book because I'm reading Pete Walker's CPTSD manual, which is excellent, but so mind blowing I can only take in a few pages at a time. I thought this would help me get into it laterally. Homesteading is an interesting book, but having read many therapist's memoirs, it was a little unusual. Walker spends only a few pages on his childhood, with exactly 3 anecdotes, and then he's off. Off to see the world, as a Vietnam war soldier, then hitchhiking like a beat poet (and then like a hippie). He goes from crossing the US to San Francisco to Morocco to Europe to Turkey, Iran, Afghanistan (where he gets arrested) to Thailand (where he gets conned by a monk) to Bali to Australia (where he lives for 10 years). He is a true die hard flower power child of the 60s, and that in itself is an interesting, already historical tale. On the way, he reads books, gets high, learns to make friends, looks for enlightenment, adopts a dog, they've on communal living (but not open love), learns astrology and how to fix cars, meditation, Buddhism/Hinduism, seesaws between wonder, running and depression - which all help him get closer to the core of his search - why does he feel so bad? How should I phrase this? This is not a literary book - things and people pop in and out of the book in a somewhat disjointed manner. You don't get developmental arcs (ironically), the old storytelling chestnut of building tension in order to release it, thus eliciting a pleasurable feeling in your reader. Walker does not talk about his parents or early years, so we don't really get the genesis of his issues, or their width and breath - and thus can't really follow him with bated breath and expectation. New people, issues and situations roll out in from of us as if on an escalator. It lacks a bit of dynamic - ie, *here's a problem *hero strives * hero finds the solution! However, that's ok - but also the reason I'm only giving the book 4 stars. Walker's search is genuine, devouring and must of course turn inward, no matter how colorful his external life is. Internal landscapes are more complex and opaque than backpackers' tales. I have been on many of the paths he's taken (astrology - of course he's a Sagittarius. I'm guessing his rising is Aquarius if his busy midheaven is in Scorpio. I also have a Scorpio moon, a Water Bearer Ascendant and a Fire sun sign) (Asia - I've lived in Thailand for 9 years)(leaving the Catholic church)(therapy... Well, duh) (hippyism) etc Because I have learned/am still learning so much from this man, because he wrote one of the 2 best books on CPTSD that exist, because he is fiercely compassionate and actually created psychological tools to help us heal, I have the utmost respect for him. I will always read his books. There are many gems in this one. I particularly LOVE him blasting spiritual bypassing and mandatory 'forgiveness'. He doesn't go on a deep dive to 'understand' his parents and give them 'light and compassion'. THANK YOU. He doesn't excavate their family history (which can if course be useful for some), he remains resolutely self-focused, which is the right place to be when you are healing from a childhood like his. This is a great read it you're into any of those subjects, the 60s-70s, traveling around the world, self-healing, CPTSD, and open hearted authenticity and observation

This book is such a delight! After having read both "Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving" and "The Tao of Fully Feeling", it has added yet another deeper dimension and even more colour to the personality of Pete Walker. I am endlessly grateful for what this man has lived and shared with the humans!! Bless his heart for being a patron saint of CPTSD survivors and helping to navigate this world in such a rich fulfilling manner!

Thank you Pete Walker! I've recently started my long journey to recover from CPTSD. I have been looking for real true answers for a very long time. As a mature women I realize it's never to late. I'm not as scared to deal with all the pain and speechless horror as I used to be because of your books. Even though I know that I wasn't alone in the world with the traumas that I secretly hid, there was no one out there speaking about the tabo subjects. I have found a good therapist , when I called about my marriage problems., she says to me that she specializes in trauma patients, I thought, that's nice, as I smirked to myself, and wondered why she would tell me this. My goal in therapy was to learn to cry again, as numbness had become quite comfortable and angry was stepping up to bat. As she showed me your books and I begain to read your warm and transparent words, I begain to cry again, and laugh with you and hope again. I can't wait for my life to thrive as it was meant to be Thank you, thank you, thank you! Mistakes are my teachers. Every misstep is a chance to practice self-compassion. Pg. 228 Ps. Your poetry is beautiful. Your adventures are encouraging. It's a true honor to know the deepest of Pete Walker through your words. Your journey is a gift to all of us that feel as if we were left stranded on the dark and lonely side of the roads of life. Thank you again, with my whole heart!

I first read Pete Walkers CPTSD book - which kickstarted me taking some vital steps in my own recovery. This memoir - I could not read fast enough - I devoured page after page after page. His way of articulating the complexity and insidious nature of CPTSD is unlike any other I have read. I feel so SEEN and understood by a complete stranger, like I have less shame about my own experience, knowing these symptoms are COMMON amongst those who grew up in disruptive family homes with toxic parents. I’m so grateful for Pete’s writing. His exercises and suggestions as well for how to overcome CPTSD have been so helpful. Including learning to recognize my chronic compulsion and busyness as escapism from feeling - a sort of flight mode. I plan to read the Tao of Fully Feeling next. Thank you Pete

This book makes sense of so many things and is a timely exposure of the idea that everything can be solved with love and peace. It clearly shows that PTSD is often caused by some truly nasty people, be they parents, partners or colleagues. Anger, expressed in safe ways that harm no one - Pete Walker has many brilliant ideas for this- is an absolutely appropriate response. Furthermore, sometimes forgiveness is not an option. It can be better to just walk away. A deeply empowering book. Best read in conjunction with Pete Walker's brilliant book on healing PTSD.