Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control, Vol. 2

We have been almost any of the families described in this book. (The only situation we've missed is cutting.) On the night before I bought Beyond Consequences, Vol 1, my husband and I agreed we had lost all hope of having a normal life and a normal child. We did not think our 17 year-old daughter could ever support herself, yet the thought of her continuing to live with us was a nightmare. My husband believed that her behaviors would eventually put her in jail. The curious thing was that no one else ever saw a problem in her, leaving us with the guilt that we were doing everything wrong and that her anger was directed specifically at us. We had recently gotten the official diagnosis of RAD which I suspected for a long time, plus I was convinced she also had ODD and ADHD. The disheartening thing was for the therapist to admit this was a very difficult thing to counsel and that we would need a specialist---of which there were none in our area. I went back to the internet for more RAD information , hoping for answers. It was through that that I discovered Beyond Consequences. I began reading it on my Kindle that very night, stay up quite late. Suddenly there seemed to be hope because it all made sense. I asked my husband who's not usually into psych stuff, to read it. He was blown away, saying that everything sounded like our daughter. We immediately began putting the principles into practice. And just as immediately we saw results. Before the book, we had tried all the "tried and true" consequence-based advice to no avail. Now instead we aim to keep ourselves in check (which is hard for me as I have realized my own anger issues). We respond instead with love and kindness. In turn she regulates and then we can move on. My husband- who hated even being in the same house when she was home--sees hope for our futures. I truly believe that it was a blessing that there was no "help" in our area because it probably would have been the exact advice that BC explains doesn't work, and could even make the problems worse. We only wish we had found this book years ago, but are thankful that her brain doesn't fully form until age 25. Perhaps the damage can be repaired. If you're at a loss and have tried all the other "expert advice" without success, you have nothing else to lose than give this paradigm a try.PS . You MUST read Vol. 1 first. And if you're wondering if Vol 2 just rephrases 1, I assure you that you will find new and even more difficult problems addressed.

You MUST read this book to resolve the issues at home that seem unsolvable because you've tried EVERYTHING. Trust me- I know. Reading this book has changed me as a parent and as an educator. This book is written perfectly. Heather compares the traditional approaches (which are easy to connect with) with the new approaches. By this comparison, along with Real Life scenarios (again-relatable), solutions become possible! I've marked up this text and have been shifting to the New approach and I can see/feel the positive revolution of relationship! Sincerely and seriously- this book is a MUST read! My best to you!!

Heather Forbes has changed my life, and the lives of so many others. If you are having any struggles whatsoever with parenting your children, this is the most amazing parenting advice I have ever read. I am a therapist, and have read so many parenting books and talked with many parenting 'experts'. This is the only perspective I have ever wanted to follow. I love everything about her way of looking at difficult situations. Nothing I read in the past ever felt right. But when I read Heather's books, it all clicked into place. It is not always easy to change, but the results are so worth it. I couldn't possibly recommend this book more!

Heather Forbes approaches kids in a whole new light. She takes the most current research on brain development, trauma and parenting and pulls it together in a way that makes such good sense! She is both a mom and a therpaist - so brings real life "in the trenches" experience to her work. This is not your ordinary parenting book - it is for parents of kids who have experienced loss, trauma or other difficulites in their lives. Let yourself be open to the information - and it will truly change your life and bring peace back into your home.

I have now read both of Heather Forbes books and am having much greater success with my two adopted Irish twin girl and boy in helping them become more regulated. The more calm, empathetic, and loving I become, the more they become regulated as well. After trying the traditional view for a year, I finally feel we are on the better track, which is also much more in alignment with my Christian belief system. I now am much less fearful of motherhood in general and have hope for their and my future together.

After raising three sons (one with ADHD/Tourette's Syndrome, one autistic & a neuro typical son who's brothers often required most of our attention) & now our niece with Reactive Attachment Disorder, this is the best parenting book I have ever read & wish I had it when my sons, now all adults, were little. I've shared this with her therapists and case coordinator & we have had remarkable success! Easy to read & understand for parents/caregivers. Will open your eyes & save you & your child so many battles. Let the healing begin!

This is a great book for all parents and the thought processes, perspective, and methods worked really well for us - major improvements almost instantly and now pretty smooth sailing, thank God!!! Thank you for writing this!!!

Another book in a series of wonderful books

Loved it

Adds to Volume 1. Takes you more into your own part in the escalation. Essential reading for parents, carers and teachers of Adopted, Fostered and Looked After Children

brilliant read