Connections Over Compliance: Rewiring Our Perceptions of Discipline

Good information, nut light reading. Good for special education teachers, counselors & administrators.

As an effective and successful high school educator, mentor and student advocate, I found the research and insight in Connections Over Complaince extremely valuable toward both self coaching and service of todays youth. All custodians of young and older learners development must read this book. It will be easy to spot those who have not: frustrated about how to reach learners, complaining about our current state of the world and sinking lower into popular rhetoric around education - or - reading this book gaining the tools to navigate the murky waters of humanity walking with grace and quiet confidence at having improved your own perspective as well as extended the hand of friendship and being present for those in need. Others would observe the readers of this book taking the journey WITH those in our care toward a new level of personal awareness and validation. I felt as through the book validated almost 2 decades of relationship building with students. This is the book of our time! One quote of many to share so imagine if ALL stakeholders lived by these words: “When you follow the student’s behavior, you follow your own agenda. When you follow their eyes, they lead you to their pain and healing.” Lori Desautels. Thank you Dr. Desautels!

Dr. Lori Desautels is on point with her latest book, Connections Over Compliance: Rewiring Our Perceptions of Discipline. I received my copy in the mail and was able to put it into practice with my students the very next day. My students are language learners. Entering a new country and a new culture often creates a crisis of belonging. Coupled with the deleterious effects of a pandemic, this may easily overwhelm a family. With a delicate balance of research-backed theory and practical applications, Dr. Desautels provides the tools - and indeed the lens - through which we can begin to shift our approach to disciplinary practices. As we harness the power of relationships through co-regulation and brain-aligned strategies, as outlined in this work, we can (finally) begin our journey of sustainable, authentic connections with our youngest stakeholders. Dr. Desautels provides insight through personal experiences, self-care practice, and brain-aligned strategies. As she so poignantly states, “every relationship with a student is sacred...” This work is a guide for every professional who finds truth in those words.

I buy this book for every new teacher I know. It should be mandatory reading for anyone who works with children. If you are on the fence about buying this book, hop off and get it - you will not regret it! And pay it forward and get one for a colleague (or let them borrow yours, but you’ll want it back :-)

If you are a teacher or even a parent you need this book! Great at explaining how the brain works and the why behind behavior. She has resources you can use as well! I am going to use one of her behavior resources for my son in his school as well so he and they can keep track of his behavior more accurately.

The knowledge I have gained through Dr. Desautels’ reachable and applicable understanding of educational neuroscience has sincerely changed my life for the better in so many ways. This book contains explanations of WHY we (our children, spouses and any person) do or react in a certain way and how to help. If we can access a calm then we can share that and it becomes regulation for those around us. As a parent, I am incredibly thankful for this. As a teacher I can’t imagine how differently I would have taught and as a person I am glad to know my brain can grow and change.

I heard Dr. Desautels speak at a conference and immediately bought this book. I am not yet done, but have already learned so much, including a plethora of actual tips and tricks for putting this science into practice! I want to share this book with everyone I know who works with youth!

As both a parent and an educator, this book is by far one of the most transformational texts I’ve encountered. Dr. Lori guides you with grace and compelling evidence to rethink discipline as discipleship. This book is changing the way we parent and connect with our children, as well as how we support our students. A must read.