Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead

I had heard the buzz about Sheryl Sandberg's Lead In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead that many of you may have heard as well. Written by an elitist with a double Harvard degree who was mentored by Larry Summers (gasp!) and is worth hundreds of millions in stock from Google and Facebook (oh no!), she couldn't possibly have anything to say to women in less fortunate positions. It was a vanity book designed to elevate Facebook (really?). I have to admit that it has been a long time since I remember a book being so roundly condemned by so many who hadn't even read it. The fact that a book authored by a woman about women was raising such a stink intrigued me. If I hadn't planned to read it before, I certainly looked forward to reading it now. I should be used to pundits being wrong. Honestly, there were some points in this book that almost had me wishing I were thirty years younger and still working. It takes a lot to do that. I am happy with my life (except for the grief part) and I don't generally envy the lot of today's working women. Lean In is not so much a feminist manifesto, as it is a hands-on guide to how a woman can think about and alter her chances for success. From the cultural inhibitions that women internalize to the social judgments levied on our performance, Sandberg presents possibilities for change. She addresses many of the same issues I tried to deal with in my career. And although I did okay, I know that some of the advice she offers would have made it possible for me to do a lot more. (Of course in those days she could not have attended Harvard. Or Yale. And COO of Facebook? Not likely.) Times have changed since Betty Friedan. Women can now attend Harvard. Women can become the COO of Facebook. But not enough of them do. And that is what Sandberg is trying to change with Lean In. Well researched and documented, Sandberg uses statistics, personal anecdotes, and stories from other successful women to present her case. She then uses some common sense, more research, and creative thinking to propose solutions. From the book: "I am fully aware that most women are not focused on changing social norms for the next generation but simply trying to get through each day. Forty percent of employed mothers lack sick days and vacation leave, and about 50 percent of employed mothers are unable to take time off to care for a sick child. 21 Only about half of women receive any pay during maternity leave. 22 These policies can have severe consequences; families with no access to paid family leave often go into debt and can fall into poverty. 23 Part-time jobs with fluctuating schedules offer little chance to plan and often stop short of the forty-hour week that provides basic benefits. 24 Too many work standards remain inflexible and unfair, often penalizing women with children. Too many talented women try their hardest to reach the top and bump up against systemic barriers. So many others pull back because they do not think they have a choice. All of this brings me back to Leymah Gbowee's insistence that we need more women in power. When leadership insists that these policies change, they will. Google put in pregnancy parking when I asked for it and it remains there long after I left. We must raise both the ceiling and the floor." Yes, Sheryl Sandberg has had a storied career, leaving her worth close to a billion dollars, named as one of Forbes top five most powerful women in the world, but then, who would want to read a book by a failure? Who wants advice from someone who hasn't succeeded in making a difference? Maybe this is all just an evil plot to grow Facebook's audience and the value of her stock. Or maybe it just is what she says it is. A way forward for women and their life partners. (She devotes an entire chapter to how important a life partner is to anyone's success in life.) Lean In doesn't have to have all of the answers in order to be pointing in the right direction. It is clear that the women's movement has stalled: on Friday North Dakota passed the most repressive anti-women laws the nation has ever seen, virtually denying women the rights guaranteed by Roe vs Wade, and we learned that NYPD officers have been ordered to run criminal record checks on the victims of domestic abuse. Clearly we need to do something. Until we have a greater share of power, our rights will continue to be dictated to us by others. It is time women started reaching for the levers of power in corporations, institutions and governments. Lean In doesn't stop with the last page. In addition to her TED talk, she has set up, of course, a Facebook page, and a website looking to continue the conversation. She envisions women meeting in small (8 to 12) Lean In Circles to learn from each other and support each other's growth. Small circles that have been disparagingly referred to as a throwback to the consciousness raising of times gone by. What her critics forget is that those consciousness raising parties did a lot of good back in the day. Jodi Kantor, of the New York Times, in an attempt to show how evil this plot is, published a copy of the document that is being circulated to potential corporate partners in the Lean In movement. (BTW, said corporate partners are only asked the use of their logos and endorsement, not funding, and their support for their employees who chose to join the circles.) I read the document, which I found here: [...] And wish that when my girlfriends and I got together during the 70s in an informal support group at a nearby watering hole that we could have had access to the material and format of the new Lean In Circles. We got the job done, and helped other women move along their career paths, but not nearly enough and not quickly enough. All profits from her book go to LeanIn.org which is a non-profit public benefit corporation that runs the website of the same name. Lean In is not for all women. Nor is it meant to be. Not all women want a high powered career and a family. But for those who do, and for their partners, it is a book well worth reading.

The gap between the potential of women coming from college and the paucity of women in leadership roles is what concerns Sheryl Sandberg as well. By this point, she has spread her message of leaning in through many forums. Sandberg has a successful TED talk that has been watched almost4.5 million times; she has a national number one bestseller with the book "Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead"; she has extended the franchise with a social network where women can form "Lean In Circles" where women can encourage each other; finally, she has put out a new expanded edition of her book branded for college graduates. Lean In has a basic message for women - lean in! But what is leaning in? In broad strokes it is accepting that the structural limitations for success of women exist and empowering women who by giving them a blueprint for growth both inside and outside of the workplace. It is about setting boundaries and working towards a more equitable world. There are twelve chapters, and they all speak an empowering truth that does not come across too much like a self-help book. In the introduction, Sandberg posits that we can have a more equal world, "one where women ran half of countries and companies and men ran half our homes" (Lean In 7). Chapter two speaks to the gap between college success and the amount of leaders in commerce and industry, which Sandberg inverts, saying that though there are the structural issues holding women back, there are in fact issues internal to women, in that there is a "Leadership Ambition Gap" (ibid 12). Though not included here in the book, this for me is well illustrated with one fact: "A recent McKinsey & Company study reported that internal research at Hewlett Packard found that women only applied to open positions if they felt they met 100 percent of the criteria, compared to only 60 percent for men." (Kenal) Men are not afraid to ask for a job even if they're not qualified because they think they can do the job or learn on the job. Women, conversely, opt out, since as Sandberg notes, "Most leadership positions are held by men, so women don't expect to achieve them and that becomes one of the reasons they don't." (22). After Sandberg describes what she sees as the problem, she has some concrete advice that can be applied more generally. Chapter two, titled "Sit at the Table," encourages women to do just that. Generally, women might exclude themselves from conversation by sitting back even when they are invited to literally sit at the table (27). Charisma has an important role in leadership, and getting people to like you can be a difficult battle for anyone in the workplace. Chapter three focuses on the paradoxical nature of success for women. Studies have shown that successful men are often well liked. The converse is true for women. The more successful a woman is, people of both genders will like her less (40). This is, Sandberg posits, because there are so few women in powerful roles and their otherness makes them a source for scorn. She is hopeful though, for a time when more women have leaned in so that "If women held 50 of top jobs, it would not be possible to dislike that many people" (50). Chapter four emphasizes that there are many ways to the top by bringing a metaphor about a jungle gym to replace the common perception of a ladder. Chapter five focuses on mentorship, the importance of finding on the way up, and of being one once you are at the top. She notes the potential weakness of this because there are so many more men than women at the top, so mentorship as existing reinforces the old-boys network (71). Chapter six, "See and speak your truth exhorts women to not hold back in communication, but to be smart about it, so that "Communication works best when we combine appropriateness with authenticity, finding that sweet spot where opinions are not brutally honest but delicately honest" (78). So once you have joined your place at the table, you need to speak up. Chapter seven, for me, is the heart of the book, mainly because I can relate to the situation. In "Don't Leave Before You Leave," Sandberg's message is simple - go full bore until you can no longer go. Take the opportunities that are presented to you and don't turn them away because of choices you might make in the future. Sandberg illustrates this well with a story of a women worried about work-life balance in the future with a child. The kicker being that the women was not even seeing anyone at the time (92). By disqualifying yourself because of these future decisions, you put yourself on the track to not have other opportunities in the future, ironically limiting your future options. Chapter eight focus on the home, making sure that your partner is a full participant at home. This has added benefits, as research shows that equality between partners leads to happier relationships (118). This is improving, since partnership is a micro-level issue that happens "one family at a time" and men of younger generations are more willing to be equitable partners (120). Chapter nine tries to break down the "Myth of Doing It All," where Sandberg recognizes that there are limits to how much one can do in the day when it comes to family, work, and personal time. She knows that you can't do everything and we should be able to accepts that "Done is better than perfect" (129) in terms of the accomplishing goals (a mantra I myself want to adopt). She tells a story of forgetting her son's green t-shirt on Saint Patrick's day to show that she herself can be fallible. The chapter closes with her definition of success: "Making the best choices we can...and accepting them" (139). The last two chapters are about naming the problem, starting a dialogue based on the recommendations in the book, and moving forward to creating a world where those fifty percent of companies and households are led by women in a more equal society. Importantly, Sandberg recognizes some of the limitations of leaning in, noting "I am fully aware that most women are not focused on changing social norms for the next generation but simply trying to get through each day" (169). Ultimately, the book is structured in a way that describes the problem, outlines solutions, and provides a way forward for people to make these changes. Thankfully, these are not those broad policy prescriptions that have no hope of being enacted, but instead they are actions most women can make so that they are not left behind.

When I shared with a female colleague of mine that I was writing a review of Sheryl Sandberg's Lean In: Women, Work, And the Will to Lead, she asked a pointed question: would it be difficult for me as a man to review without bias a book about women in the workplace? The question stayed with me as I began reading this book by the COO of Facebook that has been on the NY Times best-seller list for 20 weeks and counting. What I found was that Sandberg quickly answered the question for me. While the book is ostensibly about the lack of equality in the workplace, it's really about subconscious biases--by both men and women. While women became 50 % of college graduates in the U.S. in the early 1980s, only 21 of the Fortune 500 CEOs are women. Women hold 14% of executive officer positions and constitute 18 % of our elected congressional officials. Pay inequity is striking. In 1970, working women in America were paid 59 cents for every dollar their male counterparts made. By 2010, that amount had been raised to only 77 cents for every dollar men made. While many Americans may attribute these facts to historical discrimination or a glass ceiling that has now been cracked in most industries, Sandberg argues that this is not the case. In the past two decades, equity in the workforce has stalled. Sandberg digs for answers to this inequity by using two sets of tools: professional and personal. The book is packed with footnoted hard data and referenced studies. But it is the personal anecdotes recalling Sandberg's own struggles in making choices regarding family and career that make the subject approachable and immediate. In doing so, Sandberg makes herself vulnerable, and `just like us.' This is a commendable stance (and ultimately a powerful one) for an individual who is ranked on Fortune's list of 50 Most Powerful Women in Business and TIME's 100 most Influential People in the World. Her personal anecdotes are enlightening. For example, she shares the story that two years after joining Facebook as COO, she was in New York for a meeting with a private equity firm. When the meeting broke, she asked the senior partner where the women's restroom was. He had no idea. It appeared that she was the only woman ever to have come for a meeting during the man's tenure. The conversations with her husband about sharing child care and other issues are similar to those taking place in most American homes with two working parents of small children. Sandberg shares her struggles in her career advancement, particularly those related to raising a family. Sandberg presents a comprehensive review of why there is not equity in the workplace. There are indeed historic gender biases that favor men (for example, Sandberg admits to never having had a female boss). There are also many ways women limit themselves when making choices about careers. While we like to think that gender bias is part of the past, statistics show otherwise. A 2012 study found when identical resumes for a manager position were submitted from a male student and a female student; scientists of both sexes gave better marks to the male applicant. Though the applicants listed the same experience and qualifications, the female was judged less competent and offered a lower starting salary. Sandberg doesn't hesitate to point out that women often hold themselves and other women back. "Often without realizing it, women internalize disparaging cultural attitudes and then echo them back," she says. "Women are not just victims of sexism, they can also be perpetrators." Sandberg calls for women to "lean in" and to empower themselves and others. She quotes former secretary of state Madeleine Albright who once said, "There's a special place in hell for women who don't help other women." The book does more than highlight an often-overlooked problem and explore its underlying causes. It is also filled with actual solutions and examples of how they have worked. Businesses and industries are all kinds have become increasingly committed to making a difference in this area. In addition, women are "leaning in" more and more to take on new roles. While the book acknowledges that women in the developed world are better off than ever, the goal of equality has not been reached. To move forward, both men and women, have to understand our biases and agree to work through them. "We are a new generation," the author writes, "and we need a new approach." Sandberg's excellent book is a strong first step.

We're educated, we're ambitious, and we're dropouts. Lean In is peppered with solid references, some so interesting I actually read the footnotes in detail and looked up some of the sources. She comments: "The pipeline that supplies the educated workforce is chock-full of women at the entry level, but by the time that same pipeline is filling leadership positions, it is overwhelmingly stocked with men." Ms. Sandberg could have made her book bleak, but that wasn't her intent. Rather, she's seeking to motivate women at all career levels to aim for their best. She says: "This book makes the case for leaning in, for being ambitious in any pursuit...I do not believe that there is one definition of success and happiness." Great point, I thought, and one that set me to thinking about the concept of lean in. What does that mean? I am a corporate dropout having left employment on November 10, 2004. I started my own business in the fall of 2003. I aimed to grow the company quickly, to leave my job, and I did. Nine years later I've sold that original company, founded two new ones, expanded and added new divisions to my businesses. I've been offered various jobs over the years, including one that I in turn offered to my husband; he was a much better fit, anyway. Bottom line, I've never looked back. The entrepreneurial world is my place. Upon leaving the brokerage firm I worked for in 2004, the HR people never called to do an exit interview. My boss, a man that only appreciated females with loose morals or with 36 X 24 X 36 measurements, certainly didn't question it-he'd never expected me to excel anyway and probably, should he recall me today, wouldn't believe I'd yet done much. Oddly, someone did notice, though. Two days after I left, I received a call from the corporate headquarters. Assuming it was about benefits, I returned it and was surprised to hear the young marketing team lead on the other line. I'd met him a few times during my training, but honestly I didn't assume he'd remember me. Thinking back, I should have-I stuck out obviously among my training class of 30 given I was both the only women and the tallest. He'd only just heard that I had left and called to learn why. He sounded genuinely concerned. Was it my work environment, he queried, his voice creaking with the fear. Perhaps he worried I'd file suit against the aforementioned Neanderthal boss known company-wide as a pervert. No, I said, scowling. What had they overlooked, he asked. Nothing that I could think of, I assured. He then offered me a job at Corporate in marketing. I didn't want to move out of state; he offered to let me do some sort of a territory option; but I just wanted to go, I said. Puzzled, he seemed genuinely alarmed that I just wouldn't consider other options within the firm. Finally asked: "How have we failed to support you?" At the time, I just wanted to be done. Before quitting, I'd spent a year of mornings crying daily as I drove to that job. Fact was, I hated it. I was bored, too. I was ready to tackle something on my own. But reading Ms. Sandberg's book brought back the memory of the marketing guy's very pointed question: "How have we failed to support you?" Recalling the young woman of 10 years ago, I wondered about the course and direction of my life. If I had not always possessed the entrepreneurial urge, and I believe some people do and some people do not, what would have happened to my career? Why on earth would I have stayed with that firm? Had I missed something being young and perhaps impetuous? Even looking back with the benefit of 10 years behind me, I still struggle to find any advantages in staying there. What if I had chosen to have a baby during those years? Once my maternity leave was over, why would I have bothered to go back? Honestly, the job had been a sad creativity suck and a constant battle. I recall spending inordinate amounts of time avoiding the break room as the Branch Manager/boss often lurked there (he apparently drank a lot of coffee because he milled around in there a lot...) or cringing at the expectation that I suffer through yet another beer drinking event-aka vendor-sponsored golf outing. These occurred at least weekly during spring, summer and fall. Worse than spending the afternoon receiving unsolicited advice from drunken golf experts, were the weekly confrontations with the Office Manager (read: Head Honcho of the secretarial staff aka all women besides me). This woman believed it her duty to strictly enforce make certain that I followed the corporate women's dress code. She found me particularly lacking in the leg-covering department. Admittedly, I bucked the "Pantyhose Policy" often. I could not stand that requirement. Ladies, we are not talking about options for cute tights, or even patterns, we are talking only nude, tan, or beige hose, including for trouser socks, every single day. Yes, the manual/Bible even listed the approved shades. Her reasoning: I was to set a good example for the other women of the office, all of them a generation older and evidently teetering on the precipice on non-compliance should I lead the flock all astray with my defiance! At 27 I interpreted the message as: "Good girls play nice, tolerate much, and wear panty hose." At 37, I still do. So, there I was, the island in the middle of the brokerage sea. I had always felt like that; like a little island hoping not to sink when the big waves came. I had to fight all the time. I longed to do more! I knew I was more! I was young, female, and ambitious. Sandberg comments in her book: "Professional ambition is expected of men but is optional- or worse-sometimes even a negative-for women." I lived that culture once. I was not administrative staff like all the women and not a man like all the other brokers. So, thinking back to the gentleman's question, did I get the support I needed to stay, much less grow or excel-well, hell no. Here's the kicker; that lack of support, or whatever you want to call it, was equally lax from both genders, too. Ouch. Today, I'm in the throws of finishing my third book, a book about how to strategically evaluate grant funding aimed at entrepreneurs. My manuscript is due to Wiley by May 31st. It's early as I write this, I couldn't sleep well, and so I'm up. Maybe I'm cranky and tired. Maybe I'm seeking a diversion from the writing I should be doing. Or, maybe it turns out I have quite a bit to say on this topic. Ladies, if haven't, didn't, or currently aren't feeling the support you need to grow in your career, I cannot say I am shocked. As you know, I never did. However, if you are not getting what you need right now, at what cost are you staying in the status quo? Like me, will you drop out? Or, will you suffer drudgery with a job you hate for the sake of working? Will stifle your uniqueness and your gifts to stay in a so-so job where you'll never rise about a certain level because "it just won't happen here" or that's "just not the culture". I hear you; I've been the only girl in the Ye Olde Boy's Club, too. Ms. Sandberg raises some important questions and she has certainly set me to thinking. I cannot total the number of conversations I've had with women my age that have dropped out of the professional world remarking: "You know, if that's all I'm going to get out of working there, then I might as well stay home with the kids." And, so they do. Of course, some women desire to be full time parents, so it's great they have the choice. I suspect others do want to achieve professionally while co-raising children with their spouse, but the business world just wasn't rewarding. Without quality opportunities to contribute and be challenged, staying home made sense. A career just wasn't worth it, if that `was all there is'. Still, something is missing. I feel it. Here's where things get interesting. I receive a call a week from women seeking part time work. I know many of these women; they are friends, colleagues, clients, friends of friends. I even get queries from women around the country that I'm connected to simply by social media. Linked In appears to be quite the habitat for would-be freelancers. These callers ask if I have any work, saying: "Just something part time, you know, maybe just 10 hours a week?" Sheryl Sandberg's term is Lean In. I'll borrow from my callers and use Dialed In. "I'd don't want to have to work too much, but just like even to stay dialed in, " is the refrain. Uh-oh. That's a problem for me. Now, I am looking at this person not woman to woman but as business owner to potential contractor. You see, that comment sounds very, very wishy-washy. It says to the potential client or employer: "I want you to give me something because I have a need I want to fill and I'll fill it with your job, but I'll do it at my leisure, not at your deadline, because, really, I just want something for me but I don't care what you are trying to accomplish." Some of you might be offended about what I just said, but I say it from experience; I have contracted women who start off with this phrase and it has not worked well. The level of commitment is not there to merit the desired compensation. Sorry, but it's a fact. This `dialed in' phrase sounds to a client/employer as if you don't want to be committed, responsible, or dedicated. It's like sticking a toe in the water, but telling everyone you went swimming. You'd didn't, you just got one foot wet. When I hire a contractor, I do not necessarily need 40 or 60 hours a week, or even a month. However, for whatever amount of time I hire, I do need 100 percent. I hire talent and expertise because I am either swamped or I simply don't possess the skill and you do. When I hire a gift I don't have, I need it and I'm counting on the person to show off that skill and get the work done well. Some readers may now deem me harsh. But, the need is not about me; it's about my client's needs and their goals. Still, some of you will say that no, you don't want to commit, thank you. But I ask you, why? Your time is precious, why use it on something `just 10 hours a week' if you don't care? Ladies, be present, even if it's part time. Be all in, not just occasionally dialed in. If you're interested enough to try something, why not do it well? I'm not suggesting that you replace your family life, work full time, or start your own company. But all in does mean letting you shine. Make this part of your life matter, too. Know what you want. Know what you're good at and where you could get better. If you're in the corporate world, ask for what you need, don't wait for it to be offered. As they say, `it ain't happenin', at least not in my experience. If you're interested in politics, by all means, gather a talented team and run-now! If you are a stay at home mom that wants to freelance, decide on your services, be up front about your available time and commit with the level of seriousness of the business owner. Why? Because you do own something serious; no matter where you are in your career, you always own brand YOU. Keep it polished. Finally, I liked Ms. Sandberg's book. It reminded me that I need a checkup in my own commitment level. I'm evaluating what I want professionally and where to best focus my talents. I'm thinking of developing a couple of skills that need a brush up and trying out those that have potential but are untested. I'm asking myself what I asked of you: Where do I need to lean in and stop dialing in? There are clearly areas of my life where I need to fully engage or move on. I recognize when I'm not offering myself fully and abundantly, and it shows to others, too. I encourage you to read the book and consider your own personal and professional lives. Ladies, we've got this! We have to ask and aim for what matters. Don't accept so-so when you want awesome!

I want to set the record straight for those who claim that Mrs. Sandberg's advices don't apply to "underprivileged" women - I consider myself "underprivileged" and I found this book incredibly relatable and inspiring. Why do I call myself "underprivileged": 1. I came to the U.S. when I was 22 years old, speaking broken English. Today, I still feel that my options are limited because of my English :) 2. I don't have any family connection in the U.S. When I arrived the U.S. for the 1st time in my life, I didn't have any friends. 3. My parents are no where near the term "privileged". They don't have money, power, or connections. 4. I didn't graduate from prestige schools like Harvard - I wish I could. But I am still proud of my 2 Master's degrees in science. I earned them through hardworking. I had to work a full-time day job + a night job + going to school full time so that I could pay for the out-of-state tuition, support my parents and my brother, and keep my legal status Today, I am a senior manager in IT industry- not nearly as sucessful as Mrs. Sandberg. But you can see why I relate to her in many ways: 1. Like Mrs. Sandberg and her husband, my husband and I are full-time working parents with 2 young children 2. Like Mrs. Sandberg and her husband, I plan kids' parties and my husband manages family finances. My husband and I divide our family duties 3. Like Mrs. Sandberg and her husband, my husband and I insist on having dinners with our children everyday and share the favorite part of the day and the worst part of the day - cannot believe they do this too! 4. At work, I always sit at the table - just like her 5. I often feel guilty about not spending more time with my kids or not knowing all the details about my kids' daily lives - Mrs. Sandberg did it, too 6. When at work, I compared myself with working men. When at home, I compared myself with stay home mothers - just like how Mrs. Sandberg did at one point! Thanks to my husband who pulled me out of this self-imposed unfair comparision - just like how her husband supported her all along! 7. My kids had head lices and I had to stop working to pick them up from school. Treating head lice was not fun. But guess what? Mrs. Sandberg had to go through that, too! Head lices don't discriminate against so called "privileges" after all... :) 8. Maybe I shouldn't admit this publicly... But yes my kids have slept in school cloth so that we can save 15 precious minutes in the morning. My parents couldn't afford PJs when I was a kid. And trust me, not wearing PJ at night is't the end of the world 9. I cried, once, in front of my male boss. Such a relife to find out that she cried, too! 10. After my maternity leave, my male boss put me in a shared office with a male co-worker... I couldn't pump! I went to HR and told them that I should have the same single office as I had before my leave because my productivity didn't go down just because I had a child! I got my office back. And they found a small room for other women workers who don't have single offices to pump. Didn't Mrs. Sandberg ask for parking spots for preganent women because of her pregnancy? - way to go! Workplaces should be sensitive to these women issues. 11. At work, I am facing the same exact struggles she has been through. On top of it, I fear that females who came from other countries are much less represented at the tables... The list can go on and on... I found myself in every chapter she wrote. I feel that her advices directly address my insecurity and help me find strength to move on to bigger and better things. So, Do NOT let those "privilege" arguments get in your way. Do read this book and allow yourself be inspired by her. And ask ourselves this: If a "privileged" and highly successful women like her admits that she cannot do it all, why should we, "underprivileged" women burn ourselves out trying to do it all? I found this liberating. The issues Mrs. Sandberg talked about and the advices she gave don't apply to all women. But they apply to ALL AMBITIONS women. Mrs. Sandberg helped many women. I'll try to do the same - I am going to share this book with my junior colleagues just like how Mrs. Sandberg shared this book with all of us.

I'm not the best person to review this book. First of all, I despise self-help books, and never read any if I can help it, especially when so labeled. Secondly, I treat contemporary bestsellers, especially mass market bestsellers, with contempt; they deserve it so often that it's become my default stance on them. Next, I have little patience for movements and associated literature, being fundamentally suspicious of conviction and passion-fueled rhetoric (as opposed to rationality), which is alas, the only thing that does (or can?!) fuel movements. Finally, I detest books that pretend to be research theses and cram in footnotes. This book, if you hadn't heard, is a bestselling, self-help piece that hopes to become a movement, and 40% of its slim being is footnotes. Yeah, we were never gonna get along :-) I would never have bought or read it if my wife, sister, and mum weren't all raving about it. I did read it in full though, with effort, and despite Sheryl Sandberg's COO tendency to cram more factoids and statistics into the book than a Manorama Yearbook, or the irritating rat-a-tat frequency at which she drops names, or the inexplicable urgency she shows in keeping every interesting anecdote shorter than five sentences. (Hiring opportunity for Twitter if ever there was one!). She's also spent far too much time addressing potential detractors and heading off counter arguments in the beginning of the book - at the cost of making said argument - for my taste. That this was a slim book made it no less a slog. Her message is impeccable however, and timely, and a great way to use her celebrity bully pulpit. To her credit the clouds do part, and her writing shines in places - like in Chapter 10 (of 11), once she stops writing a stat supported, slightly insecure thesis and makes a passionate argument. But that's enough literature snobbery from me. The problem perhaps is that she writes like this were a TED talk; it isn't. On the content then... I'm a conscious egalitarian and only a mild, mostly subconscious chauvinist (I hope) and I'm proud to work for an employer that values and promotes diversity. Unquestionably, the world would be a better place if it were 'more equal'. This book helped me identify a few more of my blind spots, and made me think about how I can be more sensitive to the issues women face in the workplace - or even (gasp!) make a difference! Ultimately, I was agreeing with the author on the issue, but left wanting a better written book. Kudos to Ms Sandberg for writing it, and it is a useful, recommended read. It's clearly a book of and for our times... but let's just say it is not the book we deserved - only a book we need! (it's Batman!)

If you're looking for advice and guidance, this isn't the book for you. However, if you are looking for anecdotes that provoke your thoughts on what it is to be a woman in the workforce, this is a pretty good book. The book consists of anecdotes related to Ms. Sandberg's life. They are easy to follow and not boring. She couples the anecdotes with facts and statistics. For example, at one point she writes about the number of female CEOs who head Fortune companies as well as their marital statuses. This kind of info isn't something that many people would immediately research, but it's interesting to read about it. I especially liked her chapter on mentors. I have often seen in my own career that women spend a lot of time looking for someone to mentor them. Sandberg described this as the "professional equivalent of waiting for Prince Charming." It was very interesting to read Sandberg's opinion on this because I've often felt that women are taught in professional schools as well as the work force to look for mentors-much more often than their male counterparts. Again, very thought provoking to read. I also appreciated Sandberg's ideas on making your partner a "real partner". I personally can't imagine working in the role that I do without having my spouse as a partner in our home life. I find that most of my peers feel the same way. This idea of a real partner tied in well to her chapter on the "myth of doing it all". Her ideas were really well thought out and helpful for a woman who is a part of any family unit-even those women who don't have long-term partners. They still need a support network, but have often been made to feel ashamed if they can't do it all and have to rely on others for help. Kudos to Sandberg for highlighting this! I have heard a lot of negative reviews about this book-mostly that it is targeted toward extremely well educated women who are on an executive track. The book undoubtedly speaks to those women, but there is a strong and positive message for those female readers who aren't in that position. As I mentioned earlier, the book shouldn't be read for advice, but much more for thinking about our own places in the workforce. As a woman who worked her way through college at difficult, low paying jobs and later through professional school at a large corporation I see both perspectives and recognize how hard it is for women and how a book filled with advice would be a great read, but this book isn't for that purpose. In any event, it's a good book, an easy read, makes for great conversations and perhaps sharing of advice from other readers. It's worth reading.

Some books generate a storm of criticism as soon as they are published, much of which seems based on reading about the book, not actually reading the book itself. "Lean In" is one such book. The thrust of the book was no secret, since it is based in large part on talks Sandberg gave in 2010 and 2011. In those she stressed the need for women to "lean in" -- recognizing that many typical female behavior patterns hurt women at work, that those behaviors can change, and that motherhood doesn't have to mean "leaning back" at work. Those arguments, along with Sandberg's extraordinary success, sparked the aforementioned storm of criticism when the book came out. She was accused of blaming the victim by ignoring structural sexism in American business,and of elitism by discussing issues that had nothing to do with the problems of most working American women. When I actually read the book, I was far more impressed than the brouhaha suggested. "Blaming the victim" and "elitist" criticisms ignore the fact that Sandberg tackles them right from the beginning. The handicaps women face in the workplace, she argues, reflect BOTH external patterns of discrimination, and internal patterns that women bring to the workplace. She calls this a "the ultimate chicken-and-egg situation", and continues "The chicken: women will tear down the external barriers once we achieve leadership roles. .... The egg: we need to eliminate external barriers to get women into those roles in the first place". Both sides, she says, are right. Her book is mostly about the chicken, but she clearly thinks the egg is just as important, saying that "men still run the world" and demonstrating that with lots and lots of statistics. As to elitism, she address that head on as well, saying that parts of this book "will be most relevant to women fortunate enough to have choices". BUT, she adds, other parts "apply to situations that women face in every work place", and she is trying to offer opinions that will "resonate with women in a broad range of circumstances". So much for the criticisms: what about the book? It demonstrates convincingly that women as a group have plateaued in the American workplace for years now, after rapid gains in the 1970's and 1980's -- in terms of earnings, in terms of advancement, and in terms of home/work balance. It demonstrates that this has happened despite the fact that women are on average better educated than men, all the way up the ladder, and that women make up a growing share of the labor force. So what's the problem? Much of it, Ms. Sandberg shows, reflects workplace practices that disadvantage women, particularly women with children. And much of it reflects attitudes held (often unconsciously) by men AND by women in the workplace. Most notably, she cites studies showing that men tend to be better liked as they become more successful at work, while women become less liked as they become more successful. When you consider that success at work has something to do with how well liked you are, that's a great big Catch-22. But the key arguments in the book, I think, focus on the limitations women put on themselves. As a veteran (female) of almost 40 years in Wall Street, Ms. Sandberg's discussion of this made me think Right, Right, RIGHT again and again. She cites the same behaviors and attitudes I noticed over and over in myself, and in other women at work: Work hard and you'll do well! Don't make waves! Don't blow your own horn! Don't take on more than you can chew! Why do we women believe this? Largely, because we are conditioned from babyhood to do so. Yes, there are probably some modest innate emotional differences between the bell curve women and the bell curve man. Piled on top of that, however (as Ms. Sandberg makes clear), is an extraordinary weight of social assumptions. And Ms Sandberg has practical suggestions for dealing with these internal constraints. It took me a couple of decades to understand that waiting to be crowned Queen of the May was not a good career strategies, but I never really worked what to do instead. Ms Sandberg has, and it adds up to "lean in" -- don't step back, don't underestimate yourself (or if you do, act as if you didn't), don't refuse to speak up for yourself, and a whole lot more. All in all, this is an enlightening book, and is well worth reading. It's also a feminist manifesto, and that's nice to see after all these years during which no one seemed to want to admit to being a feminist.

Lectura fácil sobre la experiencia femenina. Súper recomendable!!!

Did not impact me as a woman much. It targets working moms specifically and not women in general in the workplace. Nice to read if you ran out of new books ideas but did not make any impact.

I don't really enjoy the capitalistic feminism in which women are superior and men are not or women are always the victims and men attack. This book was more about humanism and equal rights. It's not about women taking advantage for granted but more like, women should also work hard enough. Also, the business (or the world) has been so man-centric which resulted in disregarding woman's needs. Women have been forced to work and live in a man-centric world and the author was saying that we should come forth to speak out. Also, we should respect one's choice. We shouldn't blame women who want to work after giving birth. Also, we should support when a man quits to take care of his children. Although by the end of the book, the story becomes a bit like feminism but to a rational level only. It was very relevant to current society and enlightening.

Loved this book! It is not just the author's personal opinion, but rather a review of research as well as anecdotal information from many sources. Easy to read and reflect on ideas presented. The reader will view the world a little differently specifically related to gender issues. Young women and even older women need to read this as it can be quite affirming - wish this book was around when I was starting my career. But just as importantly, men should also read this book. It is an eye opener.....organizations are still not reaching their full potential if senior management is not gender balanced - this book talks about ways to maximize the talent pool, by encouraging women to "lean in" and overcome obstacles that prevent them from "sitting at the table". What organization would not want to do that?

Sheryl Sandberg has it all : the husband, the kids and the C position at Facebook. She thinks, with reason, that we need more women in leading positions and that it's the only way to stop the constant questions on whether women can lead. In this book she reflects on how women can leverage every opportunity to break the glass ceiling and be sucessfull in their career, while not giving up on their personal life. The message is : you can have what you want, but you're going to need to be assertive. And that is hard, because as a woman, you've been raised being told agressiveness is a bad thing when you're a woman - but a rewarded quality when you are a man.It's not fair to either men or women, and it's time we discuss the effects of these gender roles so we can move on. There are a lot of things in this book about being a mother and a wife while having a career, but it will speak to all women because they will find a lot of things to relate to, and a lot of interesting thoughts on what it is like to be a working woman today. A must read.