---
product_id: 1699591
title: "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands: Dr. Laura Schlessinger's National Bestselling Guide to a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage"
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# The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands: Dr. Laura Schlessinger's National Bestselling Guide to a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage

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- **What is this?** The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands: Dr. Laura Schlessinger's National Bestselling Guide to a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage
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## Description

The #1 National Bestseller In her most provocative book on marriage advice yet, America's top radio talk show host, Dr. Laura Schlessinger, urgently reminds women that to take proper care of their husbands is to ensure themselves the happiness and satisfaction they deserve in marriage. Women want to be in love, get married and live happily ever after, yet countless women call Dr. Laura, unhappy in their marriages and seemingly at a loss to understand the incredible power they have over their men to create the kind of home life they yearn for. In the Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands , Dr. Laura provides real-life examples and proven relationship solutions on how to wield that power to attain all the sexual pleasure, intimacy, love, joy, and peace desired in life. Dr. Laura's simple principles have changed the lives of millions. Now they can change yours. Why are so many women unhappy in their marriages, and what simple steps can they take to reclaim the love and joy they deserve? Understanding Men: Learn why men are simple creatures who yearn for a woman’s acceptance and approval, and how to use that knowledge to build a stronger connection. Love and Respect: Discover how to stop nagging and start showing the appreciation and respect that will make your husband want to give you the moon and stars. Communication in Marriage: Move beyond pointless arguments with direct communication strategies that cut through the frustration and get to the heart of what you both need. Intimacy in Marriage: Reclaim the sexual pleasure and intimacy you both desire by understanding what truly makes a man feel loved, wanted, and connected to his wife.

Review: A must for both, cross-gender communication! - Ladies steer the ship carrying the emotional health of their relationship, the man helps to maintain. In my opinion this book helps layout practical concepts in a simple manner most ladies and gentlemen understand. Men tend to fix things, shovel coal, and say what’s on their mind (if it matters to them). Women often talk in code, and try to decode what the man is saying. If he's a plain talker, this often leads to misunderstanding the significance of what he said, and too often completely missing the point. Unfortunately wars have been started over missunderstandings. An adopted son (at 14, from my ex-wife’s twin), did not listen to my advice about sex. A young lady in high school picked him out to be hers, they had a child, and nine years later another. Seriously I tried working with him, but he said "she was not who he wanted to spend his life with." They were living together and began fighting regularly, irrational. After I read this book, I decided I was working with the wrong half of the equation, and I offered it to her. Six months later they were married. If you'd like more detail read on. I bought this book for myself and wish I read it when first published, but I still had much to learn. The stories are simple testimony from real people, the concepts are priceless. Everyone should be happy but not everyone is ready. This book teaches about cross-gender communication. Men should read it to understand how they should be treated, with love and compassion of course. I tell them not to give it to their wife, because she may be insulted, and never read it. She should already be perfect just the way she is, never criticize her (she’ll do enough of that on her own), and just randomly pick something you love about her to acknowledge the Goddess inside her. I tell them to simply place the book on their nightstand. If she asks, just say you heard the book can help you be a better partner, husband, friend, man. That you really love her, and want to be the best partner you can be. If she asks to borrow it tell her no Sweetheart, you’re perfect just as you are, don’t change a thing. If she continues, suggest reading it together, and she can help you understand it. I tell the woman to read the book, so they learn how to care for their pet. Honest people can work things out, and an honest man is a simple creature don’t try to change him. Just love him, help him understand how to help you, and recognize the God in him for the good things he does to please you. I was diving into every nuance by the last chapter, but found it (for a man) to be the most boring chapter of the book. She takes a really long time (talking code) to say the simple truth “If he wants ‘it’ just give it too him.” But seriously ladies and gentlemen a little sexual tension is healthy to spur the youthful exuberance of anticipation, be sure your up on “The Joy of Sex” and other more sensual or spiritual aspects of relationships. Intimacy should never be used as a tool or withheld from a good man doing his best. Remember a good man is a simple creature and he’s hard wired for simple pleasures a happy wife (I cannot express in words how hard a man will work to please his wife, even if she is less than supportive of his needs), happy life, good food, and GREAT SEX!!! Conversation and making memories are wonderful but be sure our basic needs are met. We will give our lives to you. The woman is in charge of her happiness, telling her husband (asking is much better) what she needs help with. If she is not happy, it is because she’s either with a narcissist/sociopath, or she hasn’t told the engineer she needs more coal in the engine room. (Please excuse my sarcasm, he might not be the right person. Or she is the sociopath. Character flaws do not discriminate. Note: Men and Woman sociopaths have two traits in common. They lack empathy, and take pleasure manipulating others. They are some of the nicest people you don't want to know!) The young lady quickly began applying concepts she learned in the book. Six months later they were getting married. I asked him, how’s life, he said "I couldn’t be happier." Each of four years after he said the same thing, and I stopped asking. Originally I read about 100 reviews from ladies here on desertcart. One lady's parents had a perfect marriage 40 years of bliss, still glowing after all those years. But her marriage was not as good. She read the book, and two weeks later her marriage was perfect! They say men love you like a dog, kick’em and they keep coming back for more. Hoping for love, but tolerating abuse to a point. They also say women are like cats, chase them, and they will run away. Sit still and they will come lay in your lap, and purr... nice happy life... 😇 Another lady doesn’t like the author at all, loaths her like a zombie (my adaptation), but her marriage wasn’t doing so well. A friend loaned her the book, out of respect for her friend she’s read it. Two weeks later her marriage was fine... 😇 If it’s the right person it might be the wrong time. If it’s the wrong person it’s always the wrong time. Good cake doesn’t need frosting, and frosting doesn’t fix the cake. Though a little doesn’t hurt. It’s who’s inside that counts. From the first page, “this book is not to fix all relationships... If you’re suffering from addiction, abuse, or affairs save yourself and get out.” I’m told Phil Donahue put that on the last page of his book, backwards thinking Phil. I much prefer how Laura S. ended her book, emphasizing in every way she could think of “If your man needs loving, give him prime choice, and top shelf loving!” You never want him looking for love in all the wrong places. To a healthy man food and great sex are basic needs we live for. Yes we also enjoy many other interests, but nature has endowed us with a very strong need for placing our lives, our love, and our essence in the hands of a woman who cares for us. We can fix things we understand, but emotional eddies are far too complex for most men. Too many don’t understand this simple truth. So men are abused, get frustrated, and most are outclassed whenever a woman uses emotional manipulation on them. This my friends are not the type of woman you want. Read David Deida’s “The way of the superior man” and Corey Wayne’s “The 3% man.” Western sociopolitical manipulation has perverted how men and women treat each other, by filling our media with divisive concepts, and bad role models. Simply to weaken our family structure and make sheep easier to herd. The strength and foundation of our world, depends on the love, compassion, and peace we have in our hearts. Love, the most powerful force in the universe, share it without restraint, and know we are all riding around the sun together!
Review: Every career woman who wants to also have a truly happy marriage (married or not) MUST read this!!! - I buy tons of things on desertcart and this is the first time I feel the urge to write a review. In one word, this book saved my marriage! I met my husband four years ago and we have been married for three years with a beautiful baby boy. Our relationship started full of passionate love. It was love of the first sight, and then after time passes by, we truly believed we were made for each other and we were each other's soul mates. We both felt the other person satisfied every fantasy we had on every dimension when it comes to the other half that's supposed to complete us. I regarded him as the manly man and my hero and he regarded me as his sweet flower. We were both around 30 years old, so we were not some teenagers who have never seen other men or women. We got engaged six months after we met and got married six months after the engagement. We can't even wait for a year to plan the wedding! Then we had a baby a year later. The arrival of the baby changed everything. First we started to have different strong opinions regarding how to care for the tiny baby, then it's his family, then my family. All of sudden, before we knew it, we were pretty much fighting about everything, no matter how trivial it is. I felt true despair. If what we had cannot be called true love, then what can? I stepped into marriage with the rosy view that with our true l love, admiration for each other, nothing will stand in the way of our happy ever after life. The reality is the opposite. And all the conflicts are not there because one of us is slacking off or shirking the responsibilities as a parent. We both work really hard and are terrific parents. I have a career but managed to breastfeed my baby until he is almost two. I clean, do laundry, and cook fresh delicious home-made meal for dinner every day. He works super hard at his job and he provides a great life for the family (a big house, nice cars, etc etc.). Once he gets off work, he comes home right away to take care of the baby. He devotes all his time on the weekend to the baby without me asking for it. And we truly still love each other. When we fight, we both feel deeply hurt and still care about each other. So we make up, but then something will trigger another fight a week later. The cycle continues. So I searched for answers. I believe in solutions in every problem. Finally I came across this book. Even with all the great reviews, I was skeptical initially. Then I was completely blown away by the truth revealed in the book. For example, I used to believe since we have true love between my husband and me, so I am supposed to "share" whatever is on my mind whenever I want. If his reaction is not what I expected (patient, understanding etc., the stuff depicted in a movie), I get annoyed. So quote this book "Somehow wives have come to believe that with respect to communication, more is better. Wrong. More appropriately selected and times is better." So true! Another example is I love him so much because I think he is such a manly man. As a result, I neglected the fact that he has emotional weakness too. And he actually relies on me more for emotional support that I need him! (As we girls are natural talkers and we talk to everybody.) But I just brushed it off as he is not being himself. I think the root of the problem is that as an independent career woman, we have been influenced too much by the feminism stuff. When I was growing up, my mom always "work hard and be independent, then you don't have to rely on a man and be his submissive wife." So I equate "a submissive wife" with "a loving understanding wife who respects his husband's opinions". Even though all these are subconscious cuz I always think of myself as a woman with traditional value, who acknowledge the differences between genders, who think some extreme values of feminism are actually hurting women. I didn't know I was influenced subconsciously! If I ever have a daughter of my own one day, this is what I will tell her: work hard, and be independent, just because you want to be responsible for yourself as a human being, not for any other reasons. Don't have extreme views regarding men, they are not untrustworthy but they are not your savior either. Treat them as a truly equal. Respect them, love them, and they will return in ten folds. The only negative part of this book, is that the author seems to try sneaking in some religious stuff related to God. You can just ignore it if you are not religious. Doesn't reduce the value of the book.

## Technical Specifications

| Specification | Value |
|---------------|-------|
| Best Sellers Rank | #33,792 in Books ( See Top 100 in Books ) #31 in Popular Psychology Reference #42 in Sociology of Marriage & Family (Books) #47 in Educational Psychology (Books) |
| Customer Reviews | 4.6 out of 5 stars 3,793 Reviews |

## Images

![The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands: Dr. Laura Schlessinger's National Bestselling Guide to a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage - Image 1](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/61oFNxCpNTL.jpg)

## Available Options

This product comes in different **Media Language, Media Format** options.

## Customer Reviews

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ A must for both, cross-gender communication!
*by S***N on May 14, 2020*

Ladies steer the ship carrying the emotional health of their relationship, the man helps to maintain. In my opinion this book helps layout practical concepts in a simple manner most ladies and gentlemen understand. Men tend to fix things, shovel coal, and say what’s on their mind (if it matters to them). Women often talk in code, and try to decode what the man is saying. If he's a plain talker, this often leads to misunderstanding the significance of what he said, and too often completely missing the point. Unfortunately wars have been started over missunderstandings. An adopted son (at 14, from my ex-wife’s twin), did not listen to my advice about sex. A young lady in high school picked him out to be hers, they had a child, and nine years later another. Seriously I tried working with him, but he said "she was not who he wanted to spend his life with." They were living together and began fighting regularly, irrational. After I read this book, I decided I was working with the wrong half of the equation, and I offered it to her. Six months later they were married. If you'd like more detail read on. I bought this book for myself and wish I read it when first published, but I still had much to learn. The stories are simple testimony from real people, the concepts are priceless. Everyone should be happy but not everyone is ready. This book teaches about cross-gender communication. Men should read it to understand how they should be treated, with love and compassion of course. I tell them not to give it to their wife, because she may be insulted, and never read it. She should already be perfect just the way she is, never criticize her (she’ll do enough of that on her own), and just randomly pick something you love about her to acknowledge the Goddess inside her. I tell them to simply place the book on their nightstand. If she asks, just say you heard the book can help you be a better partner, husband, friend, man. That you really love her, and want to be the best partner you can be. If she asks to borrow it tell her no Sweetheart, you’re perfect just as you are, don’t change a thing. If she continues, suggest reading it together, and she can help you understand it. I tell the woman to read the book, so they learn how to care for their pet. Honest people can work things out, and an honest man is a simple creature don’t try to change him. Just love him, help him understand how to help you, and recognize the God in him for the good things he does to please you. I was diving into every nuance by the last chapter, but found it (for a man) to be the most boring chapter of the book. She takes a really long time (talking code) to say the simple truth “If he wants ‘it’ just give it too him.” But seriously ladies and gentlemen a little sexual tension is healthy to spur the youthful exuberance of anticipation, be sure your up on “The Joy of Sex” and other more sensual or spiritual aspects of relationships. Intimacy should never be used as a tool or withheld from a good man doing his best. Remember a good man is a simple creature and he’s hard wired for simple pleasures a happy wife (I cannot express in words how hard a man will work to please his wife, even if she is less than supportive of his needs), happy life, good food, and GREAT SEX!!! Conversation and making memories are wonderful but be sure our basic needs are met. We will give our lives to you. The woman is in charge of her happiness, telling her husband (asking is much better) what she needs help with. If she is not happy, it is because she’s either with a narcissist/sociopath, or she hasn’t told the engineer she needs more coal in the engine room. (Please excuse my sarcasm, he might not be the right person. Or she is the sociopath. Character flaws do not discriminate. Note: Men and Woman sociopaths have two traits in common. They lack empathy, and take pleasure manipulating others. They are some of the nicest people you don't want to know!) The young lady quickly began applying concepts she learned in the book. Six months later they were getting married. I asked him, how’s life, he said "I couldn’t be happier." Each of four years after he said the same thing, and I stopped asking. Originally I read about 100 reviews from ladies here on Amazon. One lady's parents had a perfect marriage 40 years of bliss, still glowing after all those years. But her marriage was not as good. She read the book, and two weeks later her marriage was perfect! They say men love you like a dog, kick’em and they keep coming back for more. Hoping for love, but tolerating abuse to a point. They also say women are like cats, chase them, and they will run away. Sit still and they will come lay in your lap, and purr... nice happy life... 😇 Another lady doesn’t like the author at all, loaths her like a zombie (my adaptation), but her marriage wasn’t doing so well. A friend loaned her the book, out of respect for her friend she’s read it. Two weeks later her marriage was fine... 😇 If it’s the right person it might be the wrong time. If it’s the wrong person it’s always the wrong time. Good cake doesn’t need frosting, and frosting doesn’t fix the cake. Though a little doesn’t hurt. It’s who’s inside that counts. From the first page, “this book is not to fix all relationships... If you’re suffering from addiction, abuse, or affairs save yourself and get out.” I’m told Phil Donahue put that on the last page of his book, backwards thinking Phil. I much prefer how Laura S. ended her book, emphasizing in every way she could think of “If your man needs loving, give him prime choice, and top shelf loving!” You never want him looking for love in all the wrong places. To a healthy man food and great sex are basic needs we live for. Yes we also enjoy many other interests, but nature has endowed us with a very strong need for placing our lives, our love, and our essence in the hands of a woman who cares for us. We can fix things we understand, but emotional eddies are far too complex for most men. Too many don’t understand this simple truth. So men are abused, get frustrated, and most are outclassed whenever a woman uses emotional manipulation on them. This my friends are not the type of woman you want. Read David Deida’s “The way of the superior man” and Corey Wayne’s “The 3% man.” Western sociopolitical manipulation has perverted how men and women treat each other, by filling our media with divisive concepts, and bad role models. Simply to weaken our family structure and make sheep easier to herd. The strength and foundation of our world, depends on the love, compassion, and peace we have in our hearts. Love, the most powerful force in the universe, share it without restraint, and know we are all riding around the sun together!

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Every career woman who wants to also have a truly happy marriage (married or not) MUST read this!!!
*by T***R on January 30, 2016*

I buy tons of things on Amazon and this is the first time I feel the urge to write a review. In one word, this book saved my marriage! I met my husband four years ago and we have been married for three years with a beautiful baby boy. Our relationship started full of passionate love. It was love of the first sight, and then after time passes by, we truly believed we were made for each other and we were each other's soul mates. We both felt the other person satisfied every fantasy we had on every dimension when it comes to the other half that's supposed to complete us. I regarded him as the manly man and my hero and he regarded me as his sweet flower. We were both around 30 years old, so we were not some teenagers who have never seen other men or women. We got engaged six months after we met and got married six months after the engagement. We can't even wait for a year to plan the wedding! Then we had a baby a year later. The arrival of the baby changed everything. First we started to have different strong opinions regarding how to care for the tiny baby, then it's his family, then my family. All of sudden, before we knew it, we were pretty much fighting about everything, no matter how trivial it is. I felt true despair. If what we had cannot be called true love, then what can? I stepped into marriage with the rosy view that with our true l love, admiration for each other, nothing will stand in the way of our happy ever after life. The reality is the opposite. And all the conflicts are not there because one of us is slacking off or shirking the responsibilities as a parent. We both work really hard and are terrific parents. I have a career but managed to breastfeed my baby until he is almost two. I clean, do laundry, and cook fresh delicious home-made meal for dinner every day. He works super hard at his job and he provides a great life for the family (a big house, nice cars, etc etc.). Once he gets off work, he comes home right away to take care of the baby. He devotes all his time on the weekend to the baby without me asking for it. And we truly still love each other. When we fight, we both feel deeply hurt and still care about each other. So we make up, but then something will trigger another fight a week later. The cycle continues. So I searched for answers. I believe in solutions in every problem. Finally I came across this book. Even with all the great reviews, I was skeptical initially. Then I was completely blown away by the truth revealed in the book. For example, I used to believe since we have true love between my husband and me, so I am supposed to "share" whatever is on my mind whenever I want. If his reaction is not what I expected (patient, understanding etc., the stuff depicted in a movie), I get annoyed. So quote this book "Somehow wives have come to believe that with respect to communication, more is better. Wrong. More appropriately selected and times is better." So true! Another example is I love him so much because I think he is such a manly man. As a result, I neglected the fact that he has emotional weakness too. And he actually relies on me more for emotional support that I need him! (As we girls are natural talkers and we talk to everybody.) But I just brushed it off as he is not being himself. I think the root of the problem is that as an independent career woman, we have been influenced too much by the feminism stuff. When I was growing up, my mom always "work hard and be independent, then you don't have to rely on a man and be his submissive wife." So I equate "a submissive wife" with "a loving understanding wife who respects his husband's opinions". Even though all these are subconscious cuz I always think of myself as a woman with traditional value, who acknowledge the differences between genders, who think some extreme values of feminism are actually hurting women. I didn't know I was influenced subconsciously! If I ever have a daughter of my own one day, this is what I will tell her: work hard, and be independent, just because you want to be responsible for yourself as a human being, not for any other reasons. Don't have extreme views regarding men, they are not untrustworthy but they are not your savior either. Treat them as a truly equal. Respect them, love them, and they will return in ten folds. The only negative part of this book, is that the author seems to try sneaking in some religious stuff related to God. You can just ignore it if you are not religious. Doesn't reduce the value of the book.

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ A book for women who want to improve their marriage. Every page helps.
*by C***A on February 1, 2018*

I read this book many times, so there is not ONE mistake in my comments here. I read it, I understood it, then understood it some more. I did my checks and balance on my relationship. This book was and is an eye opener! I am recovered feminist thanks to Dr. Laura's advice and teachings which I followed because it resonated with my desire to get out of this raging feminist s>>thole ("men are doormats", "it's me, me, me, and he needs to dance accordingly") and get some happiness! I wanted to see my man in real colors, to understand that we are together to be happy not to fight about whose balls are bigger. This book is telling it to women who are willing to hear -- as it is: Men want to be loved and appreciated and we, women, can give them that. Reciprocity. Desire to make each other happy, being humble as to want to accept the differences that actually make us so awesome together! This is not a book for women who do not want to accept a different perspective than theirs. This is not a book for women who refuse to see their men in a true light. This is not a book for women who do not have the desire to make a change, to better their marriages. This is not a book for women who think that kids don't need a father. This is not a book for women for whom their career stands higher than their kids, husbands, or the air they breathe. So, don't buy the book if you are not ready to open up your mind and heart and see things differently or in a better way than you are already seeing and doing them. Buy and read this book if you really really really love your husband, love being a mother and a wife, and want to solve a problem in your marriage or bring more happiness in your marriage. This book taught me so many things! No, I am not affiliated in any commercial, marketing, financial etc. way with this book as though it sounds like I did a good advertisement job. I am writing this with much gratitude to this little lady who showed me how to move my chess pieces by putting the queen next to her king and helping me win this game called "Life". I am now happier, clearer, and have more respect for my man. I am loved more. What a revival!

## Frequently Bought Together

- The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands
- The Proper Care & Feeding of Marriage
- Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives

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