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"One of the most admired men in the world of seduction" (The New York Times) teaches average guys how to approach, attract and begin intimate relationships with beautiful women For every man who always wondered why some guys have all the luck, Mystery, considered by many to be the world's greatest pickup artist, finally reveals his secrets for finding and forming relationships with some of the world's most beautiful women. Mystery gained mainstream attention for his role in Neil Strauss's New York Times bestselling exposé, The Game. Now he has written the definitive handbook on the art of the pickup. He developed his unique method over years of observing social dynamics and interacting with women in clubs to learn how to overcome the guard shield that many women use to deflect come-ons from "average frustrated chumps." The Mystery Method: How to Get Beautiful Women Into Bed shares tips such as: *Give more attention to her less attractive friend at first, so your target will get jealous and try to win your attention. *Always approach a target within 3 seconds of noticing her. If a woman senses your hesitation, her perception of your value will be lower. *Don't be picky. Approach as many groups of people in a bar as you can and entertain them with fun conversation. As you move about the room, positive perception of you will grow. Now it's easy to meet anyone you want. *Smile. Guys who don't get laid, don't smile. Review: It Works But... - So does so much else. Look, I don't know what guy is coming to this book. I know I have a sister in college who is single and I'd prefer some guy picking her up with this method, than some of the lame things she's told me guys have tried to do. One guy sent her an email, "Can you handle me?" Really, men need some help in the proper way to capture a woman's attention and interest. As for me, I've been studying and studying the PUA's. Frankly, I find Logan Edwards two books, Secrets of the A Game and The Art of the Approach to be the most helpful in published PUA material, along with obviously The Game, and several books on influence and persuasion, including a few on covert hypnosis. As the months have passed as I've started to read and study this material and started to use it in the real world. I've come to the conclusion that you also have to look at your own personality. I am not someone that likes to dress up stupidly (I like to dress up most of the time in dark colors, usually suede and jeans and dress pants), I don't like clubs, and I don't mind not hitting on a girl if there's none that interest me. I agree with Mystery's fundamental reasoning and I believe you should practice, go out there, and work the magic. This book is great for opening sets. But when a woman's alone, I believe your better off with a more direct approach, having to not win over anyone except the woman. And if you don't want to bother opening a set, there's always the approach of, "Can I borrow your friend for two seconds (in a psychological study, 85% of people do not feel threatened by a time restraint of seconds)," express your attraction, or your interest in her. Tell her you'd like to keep talking to her, hand her your phone, and tell her to give you her number. This book is very much oriented to opening up groups of people, something that you don't see a lot of in bookstores, cafes, stores, and on the street (my hunting ground). It says that the mystery method works in the real world away from the club scene, and I've tried a few techniques and it certainly does, so I wouldn't consider it waste if you, like me, don't enjoy the club atmosphere. Like the stock market, where you have technical analysis and fundamental analysis, a mixture of the two, daytrading, investing, swing trading, and the such, in the pick-up community, you have Speed-Seduction, you have Indirect Game, you have Direct Game, and a mixture of any of them. The fact is that they all work, they can all be good, and they can all get you into bed with the type of women you desire. The first rule of PUA is "Never get invested in any single woman." Look, if you're buying this book with the hope of learning some trick to turn that "Friend" into your girlfriend, it's not here for the most part. There are some simple truths in the world, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder," so if you've fallen into the friend zone, break off the relationship, stop being there for her, and stop being her friend. "When you can't have something you'll want it more," for fat people in the world, diets don't work because you try to tell your mind what you can't have which makes you want it more, the same works with women, tell them you don't want them anymore, they want you even more. The Mystery Method is a superb club-hopping book, that if you go out Friday and Saturday every night, trying out the routine on every girl, every set of girls, in 3 to 6 months you can be getting laid on a regular basis (3 months for sure if you go out 4 mights a week). I weigh 260 pounds, I still have a little acne, I'm 22, and though I wouldn't credit this book with most of my success, I would credit it with something. The first thing I think guys need to do though is get rid of the limitting beliefs that are holding them back. Unstoppable Confidence by Kent Sayre is a great book to start with, Goodbye-to-Shy by Leil Lowndes is another. In fact, Leil Lowndes has several great books that all guys should check out. The fact is that what the PUA community does for guys is gives them a belief in themselves. When Mystery walks into a club, women come to him, not because he's done something special, but because he walks with the belief that any girl in there can be his. In the end the PUA community is giving guys the ability to fake it until they make it. They're being sent out into the world with routines they're told will help attract women and keep their attention. But the fact is, if you watch The Pick-Up Artist, women listened to those guys right from the beginning, the fact was that they lost their interest because the guys lost faith in themselves. If you believe the routine will work, it will work, and if you need this book to give you some basics, I highly recommend it. But the fact is, if you can gather enough faith in yourself to the point that (to quote Ross Jeffries book, How To Get The Women You Desire Into Bed, a bad book that is great for the confidence building exorcises) You Will Not Make Excuses For Your Desires, You Will Not Make Excuses For Yourself, You Will Walk Through The World Without Apology, And You Will Not Worry About Setbacks Because They Are Learning Experiences, you will get beautiful women attracted to you, because, if you value yourself more than you value them, they will value you too. That's all it takes to have a high value. You must be the dictator of your own life. Don't let your life become a democracy. Don't seek approval. Don't be a dancing monkey for them. Don't be the lovable loser you see in movies. Be A MAN, America's running short on them. Women say they don't want men, they want gentlemen, but how's being that friend gone for you. Since I've stopped being friends to girls that I want to be with, and ignore them if they don't want to be with me, I've not only increased my self-respect, I've increased the respect that women see in me. P.S. Jan 19 The more I look at the DHV principle, the more I dislike the books central theme. Mystery is not an Alpha Male, the men that take mystery's class is not an Alpha male, it's why he comes up with this display of higher value. I went through the book again, "Appear willing to walk away." A real Alpha Male is willing to walk away. If you want to be one of those people who wants to be a great gamer, who wants their life to be the game, being the most skilled at seducing women, then I guess this stuff will matter more. But, if you're interested in women. Don't be fake. Learn to be an actual man. Review: An Awesome Book that Systematizes Dating. Not predatory or endorsing 'evil' techniques like its idiotic critics contend. - There are a lot of negative reviews about this book, and for a while I avoided buying it because of these. I regret not reading this book sooner. Let me address each one... 1) Methods outlined in this book are about lying your way into bed or are predatory... Uh, What? I think people that argue this seriously have not read the book. The 'mystery method' attempts to systematize dating. Being a geek, and writing a book for geeks - he breaks down the steps into (roughly, this is off memory): A1 - Open A2 - Female to Male Interest A3 - Male to Female Interest C1 - Conversation C2 - Connection C3 - Initimacy S1 - Foreplay S2 - LMR S3 - Sex He argues that dating can be broken down into a repeatable process. I don't think this is predatory or weird. If you study Sales - pretty much all successful sales people follow a process. Contrary to popular belief, Sales isn't a grimy sleazy job - it's a real job to find solution to fit a buyers problem, and in the real world, in industry, any real companies will systematize it into a process. Well guess what, in dating you are to some extent a salesman. And you are selling yourself. Just like in the business world, not everyone is a suitable customer. But you won't just find that out by telepathy. You need to introduce yourself first, and see if there is attraction and comfort. I do not think it's predatory or sleazy or weird in any way to break this down into a repeatable process. I think some people don't like the idea of a memorized opener. I personally use what are called 'situational openers' or make a general comment based on the environment at hand when I walk up to meet someone. But I really don't see how it's a big deal if you need a 'prop' to introduce yourself. This isn't lying or mis-representing yourself. It's more like have an interesting line prepared to start a conversation. Guess what, people do this every day in the business world, and it's perfectly acceptable, and makes sense in the context of selling products. I don't view a person selling industrial microscopes as sleazy when he 'opens' with a line... It doesn't make him a liar. It's a prop used to start a conversation. Furthermore, he states several times in the book that he does NOT advocate lying, and that during the comfort building stages its important to be yourself and make a real connection with the other person. Finally, I don't think that sex is an evil goal. Most people establish physical intimacy at some point early on in their relationship. If you don't want to rush the sex part, then modify the process he's laid out and take it slower. He's presenting what he personally does, and I think it's totally fine that some people are ready and willing to have sex after a few dates, or after a long night out. I know many people like this who are honest people. You have to take the process and adapt it to your own needs. 2) The method doesn't work and is snake oil I don't really agree with this either. I would say that about 90% of this book is tactical advice devoted toward the A1-A3 phases of opening and having that initial conversation. I watched some vids of the VH1 show after reading the book, and you can literally see him do everything he says and watch it work. The issue is, he has a *ton* of practice walking up to very attractive woman like its nothing and opening a conversation. Like 4 - 5 nights a week for many years. So he makes it look very, very easy. And in the book, I don't think he fully realizes how hard this is to do, especially when there are groups of people together. So basically I think he actually presents a lot of complex ways to 'open' conversations with people in groups. It gets especially complicated when he suggests merging groups at a bar or club. I would consider that stuff super advanced. But stick with the basics. I do think it's good advice that when you first walk in and see someone you'd like to talk to, to take about 3 seconds to drum up the chutzpah and just dive in. I also think it's reasonable if you're talking to a group to win over the girl's friends, and then chat with the girl. And he's completely right that once everyone is comfortable with you and you know the girl is attracted, pull her to a quiet corner of the bar (C1) and have a private conversation to establish more rapport. Just like with Sales, you're not going to miraculously land your very first sale. In the business world, people cold call scores, if not hundreds of clients, to land just one sale. When you are first starting out, you need to have this kind of mentality and put in the numbers and introduce yourself to a lot of people. It doesn't make you sleazy. If you personally don't have any standards and are willing to sleep with just anything then sure, you are a dirtbag. But if you are genuinely looking for a connection and you have to introduce yourself to god forbid a dozen women before you can really strike up a conversation and get a phone number, so what? I think most of the people that complain are simply not putting in the numbers. Again, in a sales position, people will make 20-50 cold calls, do 10 follows up, and try to close 1 client in a single day. I'm not suggesting you devote your life to just gaming women, but you got to put in the numbers. __________ Some other general comments... Women do not get this book at all and think it's sleazy because its a highly rational approach to dating, and makes sense. Also because they never have to do outbound approaches. Again, my best analogy here is sales. In sales you basically have 4 types of sales people. Outbound Lead Qualification, Inbound Lead Qualification, Closers, Account Managers. For 95% of guys (unless you are a famous actor or something) you are going to be practicing outbound lead qual. You need to put in the numbers and open up a lot of women. If you don't like night clubs / bars, so what? Then adapt the method to meeting people in book stores. Or for online dating. But the basic *process* makes sense. You need to open a lot of women (A1-A3), qualify if they are a potential match for what you are looking for (C1 - C3), and close (S1 - S3). The reason women don't get this book is for most moderately attractive women, they've never really had to put themselves out there and walk up to a guy in a public place. From the time they are 16 to their late twenties, they get approached every day by interested guys - so they experience Inbound Sales - and they don't have to expend as much effort to generate these prospects. For better or worse guys do. And believe me, women get just as strategic about this stuff and share texts and such to all their friends and figure out their next actions in advance. They may not lay it out in a process, but generally speaking the average woman has probably had more practice than the average guy - simply because they are always being approached. A quick note about "Negs". Negs are not put downs - and if you actually read the book you would understand this. A lot of very attractive woman in a public setting will sometimes act aloof or like they are somehow 'better than you' for no other reason than the fact that they know they are physically good looking. If you disagree or don't know what I'm talking about, then I suggest you get out more. The Neg is basically a way to overtly demonstrate to the woman that you don't hold her on a pedestal or kiss her butt just because she's beautiful. It's a way to say, I don't really care that you're pretty, you're still a human like myself, and our interaction will be as equals. So starting off a conversation, and correctly pointing out (maybe as a joke, if it's true) that she's got an eye booger is an example of a "neg". Most guys would be too intimidated to point this out. The neg philosophy is basically, when you interact, make it clear you don't see her on a pedestal. Again, if you actually watch the videos of Mystery interacting with women, this is all he's doing. He's not insulting them or trying to attack their self esteem like many people argue here. Do you need this book to meet a girl or get laid? No, clearly not. But I do think it's a great framework to think about outbound approaches to woman and dating as a process. People that are more intuitive or thinking (Myers - Briggs) that struggle to understand dating dynamics would appreciate this book greatly. And in reality I think 90% of guys could benefit from reading this book. Here are my real criticisms though of the book. 1) 90% of this book is geared towards openers, and even of this material, most of it is way too advanced for the average person. Mystery also suggests going out to night clubs and having these 4 - 10 hour nights out that ideally result in laying the girl. Most guys don't necessarily want this. First because it's simply not compatible with a working person's lifestyle to go out 4 nights a week and stay out till 5 am, and second because realistically, most girls will give out their phone number at best. So I think Mystery gets too focused on going for the same night lay, when most guys want a phone number and a date with a high quality girl. 2) There's almost no discussion of actually going on dates Bang - by Roosh - does a way better job of going through 'middle game' or C1-C3 as Mystery calls it. 3) Although Mystery does state this, I think it would be even better if he had approach statistics to show the reality, but dating really is a numbers game early on. There's actually a great Christian Dating book called - How to Get a Date Worth Keeping - by Dr. Cloud - who's written a number of Christian Dating books by the way. What's so interesting about it, is how similar their advice is. Cloud's book - approach a lot of women (or men) - he advises at least 5 / wk. Focus on just dating early on, don't try to get exclusive too early. Even the overall internal frame to have is very similarly presented between Cloud's book and Mystery's. Clearly Cloud doesn't advocate going for sex so early, but that's a personal choice. I think this book polarizes people because they choose to see something that's either there or not there based upon the fact that Mystery is a self proclaimed 'pickup artist' and it strikes a chord with people either in a very positive or very negative way. Get past all of that, and actually read the book for what it is. I think it's a great framework for dating and I'd recommend it to *anyone* - even a committed Christian with no intention of sleeping with a girl until marriage, just for the systematic process he presents for dating in general.
| Best Sellers Rank | #52,132 in Books ( See Top 100 in Books ) #125 in Sex & Sexuality #148 in Love & Romance (Books) #170 in Interpersonal Relations (Books) |
| Customer Reviews | 4.4 out of 5 stars 1,693 Reviews |
C**R
It Works But...
So does so much else. Look, I don't know what guy is coming to this book. I know I have a sister in college who is single and I'd prefer some guy picking her up with this method, than some of the lame things she's told me guys have tried to do. One guy sent her an email, "Can you handle me?" Really, men need some help in the proper way to capture a woman's attention and interest. As for me, I've been studying and studying the PUA's. Frankly, I find Logan Edwards two books, Secrets of the A Game and The Art of the Approach to be the most helpful in published PUA material, along with obviously The Game, and several books on influence and persuasion, including a few on covert hypnosis. As the months have passed as I've started to read and study this material and started to use it in the real world. I've come to the conclusion that you also have to look at your own personality. I am not someone that likes to dress up stupidly (I like to dress up most of the time in dark colors, usually suede and jeans and dress pants), I don't like clubs, and I don't mind not hitting on a girl if there's none that interest me. I agree with Mystery's fundamental reasoning and I believe you should practice, go out there, and work the magic. This book is great for opening sets. But when a woman's alone, I believe your better off with a more direct approach, having to not win over anyone except the woman. And if you don't want to bother opening a set, there's always the approach of, "Can I borrow your friend for two seconds (in a psychological study, 85% of people do not feel threatened by a time restraint of seconds)," express your attraction, or your interest in her. Tell her you'd like to keep talking to her, hand her your phone, and tell her to give you her number. This book is very much oriented to opening up groups of people, something that you don't see a lot of in bookstores, cafes, stores, and on the street (my hunting ground). It says that the mystery method works in the real world away from the club scene, and I've tried a few techniques and it certainly does, so I wouldn't consider it waste if you, like me, don't enjoy the club atmosphere. Like the stock market, where you have technical analysis and fundamental analysis, a mixture of the two, daytrading, investing, swing trading, and the such, in the pick-up community, you have Speed-Seduction, you have Indirect Game, you have Direct Game, and a mixture of any of them. The fact is that they all work, they can all be good, and they can all get you into bed with the type of women you desire. The first rule of PUA is "Never get invested in any single woman." Look, if you're buying this book with the hope of learning some trick to turn that "Friend" into your girlfriend, it's not here for the most part. There are some simple truths in the world, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder," so if you've fallen into the friend zone, break off the relationship, stop being there for her, and stop being her friend. "When you can't have something you'll want it more," for fat people in the world, diets don't work because you try to tell your mind what you can't have which makes you want it more, the same works with women, tell them you don't want them anymore, they want you even more. The Mystery Method is a superb club-hopping book, that if you go out Friday and Saturday every night, trying out the routine on every girl, every set of girls, in 3 to 6 months you can be getting laid on a regular basis (3 months for sure if you go out 4 mights a week). I weigh 260 pounds, I still have a little acne, I'm 22, and though I wouldn't credit this book with most of my success, I would credit it with something. The first thing I think guys need to do though is get rid of the limitting beliefs that are holding them back. Unstoppable Confidence by Kent Sayre is a great book to start with, Goodbye-to-Shy by Leil Lowndes is another. In fact, Leil Lowndes has several great books that all guys should check out. The fact is that what the PUA community does for guys is gives them a belief in themselves. When Mystery walks into a club, women come to him, not because he's done something special, but because he walks with the belief that any girl in there can be his. In the end the PUA community is giving guys the ability to fake it until they make it. They're being sent out into the world with routines they're told will help attract women and keep their attention. But the fact is, if you watch The Pick-Up Artist, women listened to those guys right from the beginning, the fact was that they lost their interest because the guys lost faith in themselves. If you believe the routine will work, it will work, and if you need this book to give you some basics, I highly recommend it. But the fact is, if you can gather enough faith in yourself to the point that (to quote Ross Jeffries book, How To Get The Women You Desire Into Bed, a bad book that is great for the confidence building exorcises) You Will Not Make Excuses For Your Desires, You Will Not Make Excuses For Yourself, You Will Walk Through The World Without Apology, And You Will Not Worry About Setbacks Because They Are Learning Experiences, you will get beautiful women attracted to you, because, if you value yourself more than you value them, they will value you too. That's all it takes to have a high value. You must be the dictator of your own life. Don't let your life become a democracy. Don't seek approval. Don't be a dancing monkey for them. Don't be the lovable loser you see in movies. Be A MAN, America's running short on them. Women say they don't want men, they want gentlemen, but how's being that friend gone for you. Since I've stopped being friends to girls that I want to be with, and ignore them if they don't want to be with me, I've not only increased my self-respect, I've increased the respect that women see in me. P.S. Jan 19 The more I look at the DHV principle, the more I dislike the books central theme. Mystery is not an Alpha Male, the men that take mystery's class is not an Alpha male, it's why he comes up with this display of higher value. I went through the book again, "Appear willing to walk away." A real Alpha Male is willing to walk away. If you want to be one of those people who wants to be a great gamer, who wants their life to be the game, being the most skilled at seducing women, then I guess this stuff will matter more. But, if you're interested in women. Don't be fake. Learn to be an actual man.
S**O
An Awesome Book that Systematizes Dating. Not predatory or endorsing 'evil' techniques like its idiotic critics contend.
There are a lot of negative reviews about this book, and for a while I avoided buying it because of these. I regret not reading this book sooner. Let me address each one... 1) Methods outlined in this book are about lying your way into bed or are predatory... Uh, What? I think people that argue this seriously have not read the book. The 'mystery method' attempts to systematize dating. Being a geek, and writing a book for geeks - he breaks down the steps into (roughly, this is off memory): A1 - Open A2 - Female to Male Interest A3 - Male to Female Interest C1 - Conversation C2 - Connection C3 - Initimacy S1 - Foreplay S2 - LMR S3 - Sex He argues that dating can be broken down into a repeatable process. I don't think this is predatory or weird. If you study Sales - pretty much all successful sales people follow a process. Contrary to popular belief, Sales isn't a grimy sleazy job - it's a real job to find solution to fit a buyers problem, and in the real world, in industry, any real companies will systematize it into a process. Well guess what, in dating you are to some extent a salesman. And you are selling yourself. Just like in the business world, not everyone is a suitable customer. But you won't just find that out by telepathy. You need to introduce yourself first, and see if there is attraction and comfort. I do not think it's predatory or sleazy or weird in any way to break this down into a repeatable process. I think some people don't like the idea of a memorized opener. I personally use what are called 'situational openers' or make a general comment based on the environment at hand when I walk up to meet someone. But I really don't see how it's a big deal if you need a 'prop' to introduce yourself. This isn't lying or mis-representing yourself. It's more like have an interesting line prepared to start a conversation. Guess what, people do this every day in the business world, and it's perfectly acceptable, and makes sense in the context of selling products. I don't view a person selling industrial microscopes as sleazy when he 'opens' with a line... It doesn't make him a liar. It's a prop used to start a conversation. Furthermore, he states several times in the book that he does NOT advocate lying, and that during the comfort building stages its important to be yourself and make a real connection with the other person. Finally, I don't think that sex is an evil goal. Most people establish physical intimacy at some point early on in their relationship. If you don't want to rush the sex part, then modify the process he's laid out and take it slower. He's presenting what he personally does, and I think it's totally fine that some people are ready and willing to have sex after a few dates, or after a long night out. I know many people like this who are honest people. You have to take the process and adapt it to your own needs. 2) The method doesn't work and is snake oil I don't really agree with this either. I would say that about 90% of this book is tactical advice devoted toward the A1-A3 phases of opening and having that initial conversation. I watched some vids of the VH1 show after reading the book, and you can literally see him do everything he says and watch it work. The issue is, he has a *ton* of practice walking up to very attractive woman like its nothing and opening a conversation. Like 4 - 5 nights a week for many years. So he makes it look very, very easy. And in the book, I don't think he fully realizes how hard this is to do, especially when there are groups of people together. So basically I think he actually presents a lot of complex ways to 'open' conversations with people in groups. It gets especially complicated when he suggests merging groups at a bar or club. I would consider that stuff super advanced. But stick with the basics. I do think it's good advice that when you first walk in and see someone you'd like to talk to, to take about 3 seconds to drum up the chutzpah and just dive in. I also think it's reasonable if you're talking to a group to win over the girl's friends, and then chat with the girl. And he's completely right that once everyone is comfortable with you and you know the girl is attracted, pull her to a quiet corner of the bar (C1) and have a private conversation to establish more rapport. Just like with Sales, you're not going to miraculously land your very first sale. In the business world, people cold call scores, if not hundreds of clients, to land just one sale. When you are first starting out, you need to have this kind of mentality and put in the numbers and introduce yourself to a lot of people. It doesn't make you sleazy. If you personally don't have any standards and are willing to sleep with just anything then sure, you are a dirtbag. But if you are genuinely looking for a connection and you have to introduce yourself to god forbid a dozen women before you can really strike up a conversation and get a phone number, so what? I think most of the people that complain are simply not putting in the numbers. Again, in a sales position, people will make 20-50 cold calls, do 10 follows up, and try to close 1 client in a single day. I'm not suggesting you devote your life to just gaming women, but you got to put in the numbers. __________ Some other general comments... Women do not get this book at all and think it's sleazy because its a highly rational approach to dating, and makes sense. Also because they never have to do outbound approaches. Again, my best analogy here is sales. In sales you basically have 4 types of sales people. Outbound Lead Qualification, Inbound Lead Qualification, Closers, Account Managers. For 95% of guys (unless you are a famous actor or something) you are going to be practicing outbound lead qual. You need to put in the numbers and open up a lot of women. If you don't like night clubs / bars, so what? Then adapt the method to meeting people in book stores. Or for online dating. But the basic *process* makes sense. You need to open a lot of women (A1-A3), qualify if they are a potential match for what you are looking for (C1 - C3), and close (S1 - S3). The reason women don't get this book is for most moderately attractive women, they've never really had to put themselves out there and walk up to a guy in a public place. From the time they are 16 to their late twenties, they get approached every day by interested guys - so they experience Inbound Sales - and they don't have to expend as much effort to generate these prospects. For better or worse guys do. And believe me, women get just as strategic about this stuff and share texts and such to all their friends and figure out their next actions in advance. They may not lay it out in a process, but generally speaking the average woman has probably had more practice than the average guy - simply because they are always being approached. A quick note about "Negs". Negs are not put downs - and if you actually read the book you would understand this. A lot of very attractive woman in a public setting will sometimes act aloof or like they are somehow 'better than you' for no other reason than the fact that they know they are physically good looking. If you disagree or don't know what I'm talking about, then I suggest you get out more. The Neg is basically a way to overtly demonstrate to the woman that you don't hold her on a pedestal or kiss her butt just because she's beautiful. It's a way to say, I don't really care that you're pretty, you're still a human like myself, and our interaction will be as equals. So starting off a conversation, and correctly pointing out (maybe as a joke, if it's true) that she's got an eye booger is an example of a "neg". Most guys would be too intimidated to point this out. The neg philosophy is basically, when you interact, make it clear you don't see her on a pedestal. Again, if you actually watch the videos of Mystery interacting with women, this is all he's doing. He's not insulting them or trying to attack their self esteem like many people argue here. Do you need this book to meet a girl or get laid? No, clearly not. But I do think it's a great framework to think about outbound approaches to woman and dating as a process. People that are more intuitive or thinking (Myers - Briggs) that struggle to understand dating dynamics would appreciate this book greatly. And in reality I think 90% of guys could benefit from reading this book. Here are my real criticisms though of the book. 1) 90% of this book is geared towards openers, and even of this material, most of it is way too advanced for the average person. Mystery also suggests going out to night clubs and having these 4 - 10 hour nights out that ideally result in laying the girl. Most guys don't necessarily want this. First because it's simply not compatible with a working person's lifestyle to go out 4 nights a week and stay out till 5 am, and second because realistically, most girls will give out their phone number at best. So I think Mystery gets too focused on going for the same night lay, when most guys want a phone number and a date with a high quality girl. 2) There's almost no discussion of actually going on dates Bang - by Roosh - does a way better job of going through 'middle game' or C1-C3 as Mystery calls it. 3) Although Mystery does state this, I think it would be even better if he had approach statistics to show the reality, but dating really is a numbers game early on. There's actually a great Christian Dating book called - How to Get a Date Worth Keeping - by Dr. Cloud - who's written a number of Christian Dating books by the way. What's so interesting about it, is how similar their advice is. Cloud's book - approach a lot of women (or men) - he advises at least 5 / wk. Focus on just dating early on, don't try to get exclusive too early. Even the overall internal frame to have is very similarly presented between Cloud's book and Mystery's. Clearly Cloud doesn't advocate going for sex so early, but that's a personal choice. I think this book polarizes people because they choose to see something that's either there or not there based upon the fact that Mystery is a self proclaimed 'pickup artist' and it strikes a chord with people either in a very positive or very negative way. Get past all of that, and actually read the book for what it is. I think it's a great framework for dating and I'd recommend it to *anyone* - even a committed Christian with no intention of sleeping with a girl until marriage, just for the systematic process he presents for dating in general.
S**U
Learning to become a pick-up artist.
This is a book about how to get women into bed. The theory is that you should pretend to be uninterested in the woman. When a man is perceived by a woman to be hard to get, he will appear more desirable to her. A woman wants to reproduce (this is her biological and evolutionary instinct), and she will tend to choose, whether consciously or unconsciously, a mate that will offer her security, protection, and a healthy offspring. This means that a woman would bed a man who appears to be strong, self-confident, mature, intelligent etc... According to the author, you don't have to be any of these characteristics -- you just have to appear to be. A man can therefore trick a woman into believing that he is the perfect sexual mate. This is how this is done: 1. Take care of your health. Look healthy and smart. Good health will make you feel good about yourself and will give you self-confidence. It will also make you appear as a good candidate to a woman's reproductive needs. 2. Make the woman believe that you are wanted by other women. Notice how married men, for example, get picked on more than single men? This can be achieved by walking in a bar with two women in your arms, or sitting with a group of women. Make the women you want to bed feel like she is no better than the other women present. This will tend to make her want you more (you become a challenge to her). You can also try to flirt or compliment her friend, making the woman you want to bed feel less desirable. 3. Always be the leader of the pack. If you are sitting amongst men, make the woman you want to bed feel like you are the center of the group. You must appear more important than the other men present. 4. Always act with indifference. Don't stick your tongue out and make it obvious that you want to bed her. 5. Practice. Practice. Practice. You must practice in the field, and don't get offended or turned off with rejections or wrong numbers. Practice makes perfect. 6. Never boost at how many women you have bedded, lest this will haunt you and smite thee! The author does talk about safe sex and the risk of sexually transmitted diseases. He also talks about loving the women you bed. In other words, the author is trying to tell us that women are not just meat. Should you read this book? If you really want to have sex with as many women as possible, and don't really care about her feelings, sexually transmitted diseases (condoms don't protect you against all sexually transmitted diseases), risk of pregnancies (again condoms are not 100%), using dishonest tactics, and not caring about your reputation (guys have reputations too don't they?), then yes, by all means, go ahead and read this book. Ask yourself this first: Is it better to have sex with 10,000 different women, or with the same woman you love 10,000 times?
P**9
A Lifestyle and Worldview Changing Masterpiece
Contrary to it's title, The Mystery Method: How to Get Beautiful Women Into Bed is more than just a book on how to get better with woman. It's a gateway into understanding, and manipulating, the fundamentals of human interaction. It's also a lifestyle and perspective changing book. I never expected that reading this book would lead me to a such a drastic life epiphany. As another reviewer pointed out, its like suddenly becoming aware of the matrix. Mystery gets into deep reasons behind why people behave the way they do, using evolutionary psychology and personal experience to back up his claims. As you digest the material you will start to be able to read and influence people like never before. You'll wonder how you could have missed so much. Mystery also devels into what it means to be truly be human and be alive. Again the goal of this book is to not just to get you better with woman but to have an overall better and more impactful life. To realize your own self worth and no longer allow your life to be hinged on the opinions and actions of others. However with all this knowledge you risk opening a can of worms. If your not careful you may lose yourself in the process and social interactions will feel less fulfilling and exciting. Mystery teaches you things that are unknown to 99% of the population, and you may at times wish you could unlearn things. However at the end of the day the wisdom, knowledge and insight you gain from reading this book far outweighs any negatives you might experience. If anything the skills you learn from this book will trickle into other areas of your life, and should you so choose, improve those areas drastically. I wouldn't recommend you reading mysterys book without first reading his colleagues Neil Strausses two books on the subject. "The Game" is what jump started the whole pickup industry and serves as a great intro to the community. It is more of story telling book. His other book "Rules Of The Game" is more of a how to book and the Style Life Challege section is meant to be a life changing program. Once you've read the aforementioned Strauss books, and completed the Style Life Challenge, you'll be more much more prepared for Mysterys techniques and insights. If the seduction community books were weighted on a scale Mystery's would be like a graduate level book, and your better of working your way up to it. But once you do, and you really began to understand and master Mysterys social dynamics and lifestyle changes you will not be disappointed. It will seem like you experience the world in an entire different and good way. Some people may even become jealous (a sign your doing good) and thanks to mystery you'll know how to handle those people. If done right you will find the best version of your self. And you'll actually be glad that your were socially awkward and sucked with the opposite sex. Because it lead you onto this road of self improvement and you'll find yourself "flying by" and suppressing the "naturals". Because you had to work hard to obtain something that came easy to others you left them in the dirt. Other essential books (if you have the time) to read is "No More Mr Nice Guy", "The Solution to Social Anxiety", "Modern Romance", "Text Appeal For Guys", "Survival of The S***test", "The Geeks Shall Inherit The Earth", "The Like Switch", "The Selfish Gene" & "The Rational Male" (volumes 1 & 2). Each of these books fits into the theme of self improvement, and understanding why people behave they way they do and how you should behave. And of course bettering your romance/game. Again I feel Mysterys Book is not meant to be read in a vacuum. It's a significant puzzle piece in finding the best "you" there is. The Mystery Method, as well as the aforementioned Strauss books, have been amoung the most influential in my life and for many other people as well. In hindsight I would have never thought that reading a few books on improving my skills with woman would lead to a lifestyle epiphany and change of such great proportion. My last piece of advice though would be to be careful who you share this knowledge with. When so many other people suck it makes it easier for you to stand out. A good magician, which is Mystery is, never reaveals their secrets.
B**C
Mystery's Magical Tour.
I have never been a consistent reader of the "pick up/player" genre, but I've become more attuned to it recently as I have begun a work of my own on a similar topic. Based on the tomes I have consumed, The Mystery Method currently ranks as second best--just behind How to Succeed with Women by Lewis and Copeland. Many of us know Mystery from The Game or his new TV show on VH1. Unlike most of the Amazon reviewers, I was not a big admirer of Neil Strauss's account, but I found Mystery to be, by far, the only compelling character in the book. He was the only person you cared about. In the narrative sections concerning him, readers become entranced. He arouses feelings within us of elation, zeal, and sympathy. He is a man of depth and vision which was a major reason why The Game was worth perusing. If you have any doubts about this offering--thinking that perhaps the 6'5" would-be rock star is trying to cash in on his recent celebrity--think again. He has produced an instructional volume of which he will forever be proud. I think that is why some people found it dry because, in my estimation, he attempted to put everything he had into this publication. It stands alone and is not a "teaser" vehicle by which struggling Average Frustrated Chumps will feel a need to purchase a registration ticket for one of his seminars. You get the vibe from these pages that he was scared to leave anything (essential) out as he knew it would be a work from he would always be judged. So much about women and our romantic relations with them is counter-intuitive which renders conventional wisdom completely useless. Mystery asks us to suspend disbelief in these pages and we are wise to do so. He analyzes the irrational process of seduction and attraction in the most logical way possible. These chapters are full of symbols and lingo which (yes, can be trying) but ultimately describe the privileged sex in a manner far superior to anything you will find in the self-help section of the local bookstore. I have studied women to a great extent, and believe that what Mystery reveals here informs us more of their group behaviors than the majority of psychology textbooks. As I read this work I looked back on some of my own romantic successes and failures--particularly those with unexpected outcomes. I came away with the realization my most fantastic memories were a result of my own--generally unintentional--practice of negging and demonstrations of value; while my memories of disaster sprung from a diminishment of personal value and a refusal to build comfort. All of us can learn from this man and we must always remember that in this game, as in so many others, fortune always favors the bold.
C**N
Not bad, but disappointing
I was turned toward this book by a buddy that read, "The Game," by Neil Strauss, and told me it "changed his life." A little looking and I found my way to "The Mystery Method," written by Strauss's teacher, a man named Mystery. I was interested in improving my social skills. Who isn't, right? Well, let's cut to the chase. If you are looking for a book that gives you some perspective on social interactions between men and women, this might not be a bad buy. It's a lot of philosophy mixed with psychology on the topic of how the sexes interact. For this purpose, it can open your eyes a bit, if you've been stumbling around blind. If you weren't in the total dark, however, this book is maybe not for you. Mystery is a man in the center of the "Pick-up Artist" world, and these guys make most of their money off of self-help SEMINARS, and not books. The book is basically the "hook" in getting you to start looking at shelling out a lot more cash to attend one of these seminars, which they call "boot camps." It gives you some good psych lessons on the importance of peaking interest in a manner which doesn't come off as to direct and needy, but it shys away from giving actual advice, instead leaving you only with a vague idea. One of the most important concepts revolves around "Developing Higher Value" (DHV), yet fails to really ever mention what those "values" are, instead leaving the reader to guess at what they might already believe. In my eyes, values are concrete. Why not talk a bit about what those values are, if you are trying to appeal to them? For a book which is about (I'm guessing) helping the clueless in social interactions, it gives you a peak into a new world, but falls short of ever letting you into that world. You CAN gain entrance, for the low price of one of the "boot camps," assuming you've the time, desire, need, and (oh yeah) $1k+ to do so. It's not a bad read, but don't expect much, and certainly don't expect anything specific. It furthered my thoughts about how and why people act the way they do with one another, but I think it falls short of its intended mark.
J**L
Settling The Score!!
I keep seeing all these low stars on the book saying that, "It didn't work", "Abusive to women", blah, blah, blah... This book isn't for the faint of heart and if you don't have the drive, desire, stamina, flexibility, and durability to put up with the harsh fast paced dating world then this book and many other PUA books is/are not for you! Picking up women takes time, just like losing weight takes time, making lots of friends takes time. That being said, many of you don't even know how to give a proper review, here are some guidlines for the next reviewers... Try including: Your Age for starters! Your age will say a lot about your view toward the book, if you're a normal 45 year old person then you're view of this book will be TOTALLY different from the 18-30 bracket! The late night club scene is probably NOT your style. Also if you're a female, some of the things in PUA books are probably going to make you want to vomit, but men know that although some of these truths are ugly, they're still the truth. Your location is also important, if you live in a small town this effects your game a great deal as you will only see very few women or much fewer women than in a metro area or big city like NYC, LA, Chicago, Tokyo, etc. where there are tons of people running around, this gives you less field practice. Before you go around slandering the name of PUA books or Mystery, you have to understand what this is all about. It's not about inflating egos, its about teaching men who would normally think they have no control over their romance/dating/sex lives that they are in control, they need to grow some good old fashioned balls, take back their humanity, gain and understand the gift of freedom and most of all live a life of adventure being someone he loves and respects. Yes there are munipulation tactics, but munipulation holds many unwarranted negative conotations. Have you never asked someone to do something just because you KNEW they'd do it? Have you never done something for somebody because you knew that meant that they'd do something for you later just because you did them the favor? Women behave this way a lot. To be honest many munipulative things women do to men is so widely accepted by everyone its not even funny. Last but not least one book and one view will never be the answer. I'm getting into NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) It's great for fixing your mindset, influencing people, and transfers well into PUA as much of PUA is derived from NLP. I used to be a "nice guy", until I saw the light. Being too nice attracts predators and users, they things we were taught when we were little boys about women is a joke, so the bottom line is you can keep buying them flowers and going to bed with your hand or you can listen to this guy and make SOME progress, we all may not go on to sleep with perfect 10 models but you bet your bottom dollar you'll feel a lot better than when you took no action at all and you will see the benefits!
D**S
This method works, period!
Fellas, lets talk for a minute. We all want to meet and bed beautiful women, right? Well, I live in the ATL and it's a jungle here. Beautiful women at all the clubs and pretty much everywhere you go to socialize and yes especially the grocery stores and Walmarts. So, I broke up with the fiance a couple of years ago and found myself in my late forties trying to find hot women. Well, to put it mildly I was a little rusty and the game has changed. So I heard about the Art of Seduction on the radio and thought, now there's an idea. Why don't I dig into this seduction game and understand how to really attract women. Well, when it came up in the Amazon search I found all these PUA books. I read them all and I must say this is the best and most direct teaching tool I've encountered on the subject of women. At first I didn't really understand how to apply the techniques in this book but over time it has become second nature. I just put myself in social situations and the women are everywhere. Hugging me and kissing me on the cheek, always happy to see me. Recently, I went to a club and a BBQ on Friday and Saturday and I pulled the hottest women at both venues and scored the digits with no problem. Remember I'm 51 now and the two women I pulled were 31 and 41. Both asked about my age and I told them my age and they were commenting on how good I looked for my age. New clothes, contacts and shaved the beard! Gained some confidence, joined an APA pool league and now things are falling into place just the way Mystery said it would. By the way, I even scored a date with the 41 year old the next day. Went to the movies and had a ball! Oh and on the way to pick her up chatted on the phone with the 31 year old and she's quite interested. So, brethren of the PUA, trust me, follow the instructions and customize the techniques to your understanding and you'll be dating beautiful women too. By the way, the 41 year old is a Trini babe and she came and sat down next to me after I neged her earlier in the evening. I felt kinda bad when I saw the look on her face but it was perfect. She realized I wasn't falling all over her beauty like a punk ass.
G**A
Here you get to understand the essentials
Of Game from the genius who laid the fundations of the art of attraction. Explained from the evolutive psychology you will get the basic concepts and the Method from the trail blazer Mystery himself.
C**E
Just wow
Incredible book. You want to understand what is social dynamics, read this book. Not only man to woman, with this kind of thinking and analysis it's for every social interaction
F**S
A fundação da sedução moderna
90% de conteúdo atemporal. Os 10% são particulares do criador, Mystery ou Erick, que devem ser adaptadas ao usuário. Em geral, salvo alguns pequenos retoques, o livro é indispensável na jornada do aprendiz de sedutor. Os conceito básicos mantêm-se até hoje.
B**S
It's Fantastic-
I got hooked on this subject of improving my skills from a fantastic dating guru called David De Angelo who had Mystery come on as a guest speaker one time .He highly recommended taking Mysteries Field Training courses or reading mystery's book when it was finished . Since I live too far for the workshops the book was my best option . He also recommended a great book by Mysteries wing man "style" (Niel Strauss) .His book is called "The Game" yet another riveting page turning book . Unlike De Angelo, Mystery does not do much theory but mainly backs up his methods by taking guys out on pickup field trips to show his stuff it in real life situations and live action. It has not made me into a dating guru Since I have not worked at it that hard. However has doubled my skills..However for anyone who cares to put the effort in then just to read this book you will see results and at the least get an immediate understanding what they are doing wrong. Women come to will thank you for learning these skills I have tried just a small % of the methods of this book and they really work. .Very few of your mates who have some of these skills are not likely help you for obvious reasons. IT is very well structured and easy to understand but like anything it takes work and effort to be a wiz at anything. There is nothing new in it for the naturals for pick up but for all those that are not born with the knowledge on how to attract women then this will do wonders for your dating life and general confidence. I think this type of skill should not only be taught by schools but be mandatory. Some Women will no doubt scorn this book but I guess that's part of the game , maybe to keep these skills hidden from men , to keep game in their court . It's refreshing to see someone who re-addresses this Imbalance. I would doubt there will anyone out there that could honestly say this guy is not a genius. Sigmund Freud is quoted as figuring out everything in Psychology but the only thing he said he could not understand was women. Well this guy makes a big leap in the right direction. Other than Ross Jefferies who basically started this trend ,Mystery has compiled a very up to date method that can be applied and adapted to any culture or language .
S**H
Life changing book
It focuses on the basics of attraction, comfort, seduction , which is indispensable to learn ,to get abundance of girls in life ,if you read it, your results with women will get 10times better , highly recommend.
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