From Generation to Generation: Healing Intergenerational Trauma Through Storytelling

What a powerful book about difficult family stories. I am not a Holocaust survivor, and my blood relatives were not affected directly – we were already living the United States. However, my mother-in-law Rosa was born in Germany before the War, and lived through the early part of Hitler’s rise to power before escaping to the UK on the first Kindertransport.Rosa’s mother (my wife’s grandmother, of blessed memory) lived “underground” in Berlin during the war, hiding her Jewishness and living by her wits. Granny (as we called her ) and I couldn’t communicate directly – she didn’t speak English, and I didn’t speak German. Yet I grew terribly fond of that tiny woman, who survived only by hiding who she was inside.Emily’s book resonated with me, because I *didn’t* have her Mutti. The stories that Emily relates brings that generation home to me, and I wonder what Granny would have thought about Mutti’s stories, her constant head games, her instant hatred of any clothing with stripes, her food issues, and her relationship to Judaism. Well, that’s not true: I know what Granny thought about food (she was an amazing baker), and she was fervent in her Orthodox Jewish observances – even fasting for Yom Kippur against the strict instructions of her doctors.The greatest part of “From Generation to Generation” might be the questions at the end of each chapter. Some of them I can answer, like those about punishment for siblings, or passing down unrealistic expectations to my own son. Others I can’t relate to, like the questions about clothing (we didn’t have any of the issues Emily writes about) or about family secrets (we were very open – at least, as far as I know).To the bigger picture: I can recommend this book to every person whose family has a story that includes some pain, trauma, shame, or embarrassment – and that means *every* person. It so happens that Emily and I share a similar ethnic background, and thus our family stories are similar. However, whether you’re an Arizona Navajo (like good friends), a Cambodian refugee (like our neighbors), or anyone, you have painful stories to learn from, and painful stories to pass down. “From Generation to Generation” will help you think different about those stories, and about storytelling.

There are generations of people who through various messages were taught to not express their emotions. Yet in trying to live life, visceral reactions to situations that sub-consciously bring up their dark secrets often result in the people around them feeling the brunt of their pain. It can be as simple as pinstripes, a direct reminder of concentration camp prisoner uniforms.It can be especially hard for daughters, because our success is an unspoken reminder of what wasn’t for our mother. As we grow up experiencing the brunt of their pain, we don't have the understanding that some of us are lucky enough to get in later years. It is that understanding that helps bring us to a place of forgiveness and peace. Emily shares a beautifully written and deeply personal story of what the effect of holding our secrets inside can do to us and the lasting impact on our families.

Reading "From Generation to Generation" I found myself crying one moment and consumed with anger the next. It is incredibly brave for Ms. Wanderer Cohen to share her childhood trauma as the daughter of a Holocaust Survivor and a gift that she is willing to give others who are also children or grandchildren of Survivors.  Before the retelling of her mother’s harrowing story of enslavement in concentration camps, her escape, and then eventually her settling in America, the reader is exposed to the horrors that can be visited upon the children along with the authors discovery of the surprising life events her mother chose never to reveal. The abuse suffered at the hand of her mother is truly horrendous and my heart broke for that teenage girl in Portland Oregon who just wanted to be like every other late 70’s / early 80’s teenager.  For those of you who have walked a similar path to the author will find the questions at the end of each chapter helpful. If you are not a child of Survivor, these same questions may just help you have a better understanding of your friends who are. It is sad to think about the things we do not share with or notice about those closest to us.  I admire the courage it took for Emily Wanderer Cohen to finally share her story with the world.

I was drawn into Emily's book as soon as I read the first sentence. This is a book written from the heart, and addresses the hurt and pain Emily grew up with, and continued to experience as an adult. As much as wanted to dislike Mutti for inflicting this pain on Emily, I couldn't, because I knew Mutti was coming from a place of having survived being in a concentration camp during the Holocaust. I read this book and wanted to know more about Mutti. What was she like before her world completely changed forever. I'm proud of Emily for facing the adversity of abuse and growing strong, for leaving her past behind, and moving forward with this book. This is definitely a great book of depth that I hope becomes required reading in school. Thank you for reaching out and getting this story out. It needed to be told.

This is an important book. A powerful book. The author shares brutally honest stories from her own experience as a "not normal" kid growing up with a mother who was also a holocaust survivor. But this book is not merely a memoir - it's gift is in sharing the process of how to heal with actual exercise for the reader to release their own trauma You don't have to suffer any longer! Get this book now and begin the process of releasing second-hand trauma.

Cohen's narrative provides a deeply personal look at the effects of second generation trauma. Her message of hope and healing through written exploration exercises provides an outlet for the reader to examine similar situations from their own past.Indeed, the oral traditions we pass to our descendents will help them as they work through the challenges that are their legacy.Highly recommended.