The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap

This book has changed my view of relationships and how easily we are attracted to those who are ultimately not our soulmate, but instead our woundmate. I would highly recommend it to those of you who have survived childhood trauma, and thus suffer from codependency or as Ross says, self-love deficit disorder (which I love!) This book will leave you with your mouth wide open, again and again, while experiencing what seemed to me like a million "aha" moments! I see Ross Rosenberg as a true humanitarian on this issue. Way to shine the spotlight on learning to LOVE ourselves first, Ross! Keep writing, making videos, speaking, training and teaching! You have a gift!

I highly recommend this book especially to anyone who has experienced childhood attachment trauma and/or narcissistic abuse and/or toxic relationships, and I also highly recommend it to those who have not experienced these things so you can understand the dynamics and how and why they exists, order to recognize it to protect yourself.Ross Rosenberg is a licensed therapist who is an expert on these topics (and many others). In this book, he explains the origins of both Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Codependency or Self Love Deficit Disorder (as he has renamed the term). With his "Human Magnet Syndrome" theory, he explains how and why we attract and are attracted to, our romantic partners. He explains in a way that is easy to understand, why codependents attract narcissists and why narcissists attract codependents.Consciously, we may know what we are attracted to in a mate, but buried deep in our subconscious, is an invisible force (that we are not even aware of) that was programmed into us as young children when we experienced childhood trauma, which pulls us toward/attracts us to a person with traits that complement our traits. We were conditioned as young children to be attracted to some people and not others. Subconsciously, we are recreating our childhood trauma in an attempt to heal it, and we are not even aware that is what we are doing. All we know is there is intense, irresistible chemistry. Someone who is high on the narcissistic scale will strongly attract someone who is high on the codependent scale and someone who is high on the codependent scale will strongly attract someone who is high on the narcissistic scale. This is why we have explosive fire work chemistry with some people and not others. Narcissists will not attract narcissists and codependents will not attractcodependents - they actually repel each other, which is why there is no chemistry.If you are on a healing journey and you are trying to recover from a toxic relationship, I not only highly recommend this book, but I also highly recommend you read any articles and books written by Ross Rosenberg that you can get your hands on, watch all his YouTube videos and go to any retreats he offers. This man is the REAL DEAL! He gets it! This is time and money well spent!

Just as the title states there are typos, repeated words, incomplete sentences. Who edited this? Maybe their narcissist editor promised to do a good job this time. Haha but yes try another edition maybe? Would not recommend. I’m about half way and it’s annoying. Notice page 70- sentence cuts off and I have no idea the end of number 11 or if there is a 12 or more. Like really?

Ross is the expert on the dance between Co-Dependents and Narcissist. I had no idea why I was always attracting this type of toxic person. Ross spells it out plain and simple. I have been able to peel another layer of the onion back learning about SLDD, and how it has contribiuted to attracting toxic people. He answers the question, "why do we love people who hurt is" - shocking but true. He gave me tools plus resources to recover from SLDD (Self Love Defecit Disorder) and ways to stop attracting toxic/narcissistic people. Couldn't be happier with this purchase. I've even been able to use Ross wisdom to help other women who find themselves in the toxic dance.

Ross Rosenberg makes such a difficult subject on Codependence, Narcissists and their relationships so easy to understand. I purchased his new book after reading his first book once again, his expanded re-write version totally hit home to why we choose our opposites in intimate relationships. He has included his own real life examples, which makes it easier to grasp why we become who we are by historical unhealthy parenting. I have been sharing information about The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap book with my friends and family and have ordered his seminar on Codependency Cure... Recovering for Self Love Deficit Disorder (Codependence). Definitely a must have 5 STAR book – this book will change your life!

This is a popularized concept of what had been known in niches of formal Psychology long before. The book is valuable, though, for taking an otherwise obtuse idea and making it clear to the general reader. The public awareness of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and the horrors it can bring down on targeted victims is becoming much better known these days; there is a great deal of information out there on good websites and other excellent books which explains this mental/emotional/attachment disorder in detail. Contrary to popular opinion, Narcissistic Personality Disorder is not about vanity. It is about creating a "superior" pseudo-self to take the place of the real self that was never developed in early childhood due to lack of validation by the caretaking parent, perhaps unwittingly. There is controversy over whether it can be healed or not. It appears, though, that few Narcissists are ever motivated to try. With that in mind, the best advice is to learn the warning signs, and heal yourself if you have a tendency to be Narc-bait. "The Human Magnet Syndrome" discusses who has this tendency, and why. What can be done?Pathological Narcissists are described here as being attracted to their polar opposites on the Personality Spectrum, namely, Co-dependents. I prefer to use the term Empaths. There are individuals with the Empath/Caretaker form of Attachment Disorder who are somewhat different from Co-dependents, but nonetheless attract Pathological Narcissists. I would recommend the books of Les Barbanell for that distinction. The general idea is that people with too much empathy attract those with too little. How is that for the unfairness of life? The better you behave (coupled with a game-changing lack of self-love), the worse you are likely to attract in return. Love does not solve everything. Bursts a few balloons.One conclusion from the author I would beg to differ with is this. I have known Pathological Narcissists to attract other Pathological Narcissists. These relationships do not fare any better than Narcissists/Empaths. My point, however, is that a polar extreme on the Personality Spectrum can attract either a like extreme, or an opposite extreme. The author writes of only opposite extremes. Do self-love-deficit Empaths sometimes attract other such Empaths? LikeIy, though these relationships are not going to be fulfilling or permanent either.Re-enactment Compulsion is at the heart of this phenomenon. You relate romantically, as an adult, to what was programmed into you during a dysfunctional early childhood (or a healthy childhood, for that matter). You will be attracted to a partner who treats you in what you learned to see as the norm -- the way your significant caretaker in early childhood treated you. If you wish to break this pattern, you must first become self-aware. No shortcuts.

Ross Rosenberg likes to talk a lot about his family and himself, I'm no professional but that seems kind of narcissistic to me. I have to say 90% of this went right over my head, so I think this book is intended more for actual professionals. There was one actual client couple story that really interested me for 3 pages, but then they "righted the marital ship". I really wish there had been an explanation given of how they managed to do that, what treatment worked for them, etc. I like the definitions Rosenberg provides of various personality disorders, but I didn't really go in for all his tortuous analogies.Most of the notes I made in my Kindle version of this book regards typos:7% trauma would be permanently (hid)8% consequence of her retaliatory (retaliatory) anger10% which (command) his immediate attention11% tried to be (affection) to her12% brought out the worst side ( ) my father's

i have recently discovered that my dad was a narcissist and i was the scapegoat child and this book made so much sense to me about how i attracted friends that were similar to my dad and how codependent i have become. i am happy i discovered this book before i get married because i think it has saved me many bad relationships and shame thinking i was bad growing up. a must read for anyone with a narcassistic demon in thier lives

I was coerced into reading this by my soon to be ex-wife who is convinced that I am a narcissist. She was such a co-dependent that she left after 3 months of marriage. The only thing that I can say is it proved useful in identifying who the true narcissist was in our relationship. I agree that Dr R Rosenberg does appear to be a bit up himself but they do say that it takes one to know one(Narcissist) avoid like the plague unless you are having severe insomnia problems

Good Read